day 7

…& locks on the doors.
The other lodges just had hook&eye latches… s´ok. No one Complained
but this place has air tight box rooms with door knobs (offensive!) & LOCKS!
so fucking annoying. inconvenient.
sad…
someone´s gotta hold the key. guess right now it´s mee.
…& Electricity, of course: the lights (power savers), the fans going constantly, the AC (headache)…
This morning they had a toaster…
how nice!
but not a little box & slice one, no –
an industrial conveyor huge machine… turning away & throwing off heat… & no one using it — ahhh… luxury means we can waste all we want!
i shoveled down some sweet yoghurt & puffed grain cereal… couldn´t even eat the omlet.
rushing to take a shit, then ran back up to catch the boat to monkey island.
i woke up early this morning…
but heavy curtains…
i thought it was too early, so went back to sleep…
without looking at my watch i keep getting screweed up on Time—-
FIE!
— —
i just ate cuchichuapé
kah-she-chew-ah-pé
cat fish broth, scallions — mashed plantaines.
—————————————————–
i wish i could have written “the power of now”
.. done it my way: whatever that is.
because i want to help & contribute to the whole of society… & i´d like to write a book or something…
i´ve had these ideas for Years!
… but not the awareness & skill to manifest a book.
… & i wouldn´t want to coast on this… & be a part of New Age Super Stardom…
being fully present to any situation back to front. both sides…
it´s fun, i guess – so it´s always pleasureable … engrossing… entertaining
… all i ask for is…
The whole thing to be conscious & not poisonous and violent
how?
… by being what i wish for i bring it into being.
… Let´s Play!
/
back to journaling.
i slept in Judy´s room last night. so tired i didn´t want any conversation
she´s a nice lady… tries a bit too hard with her New Agey stuff
i woke from some strong dreams
skinny boy blue gave my camera away to some homeless guy (how i lost it in the dream) then invited him back into the house (party?) and then let him get away again!
woke up angry and frustrated
had to piss… then went back to bed
woke to an empty room– then she came in and told me i had only a half hour befre we left & i better hurry–
which put me in a stressed & pissy mood
running on sleepy auto pilot, i rushed through breakfast..
which all tasted bad this morning–
then went to take a shit & get the camera and shoes…
everyone had left the lodge — so i ran to the boat..
& they were about to pull away — everyone gave me greif for being late;
i sulked.
but the monkey´s were great!
so fun to see them playing around
Though Ary said we weren´t allowed to let them climb on us… one tried & i ducked her… him… dunno.
there were 7 types here…
i only remember him calling one a “wooly monkey”
-curled tail… classic monkey. very personable.
Bianca… or Blanca? the one who got me…
Inglese was the red-faced beast … & there were a few smaller types like squirrels… and another large and shy one with a white face…
i fed a few soem strange black palm berries that one of the guys on the island gave to me
& then… walking away back to the clearing, Blanca held up her hand to me
and i held out mine
she grabbed my fingers and swung up onto my arm and climbed up my body onto my head
which tickled me, of course
and i would have liked nothing more…
but said ” off me girl, you´re gonna get me in trouble ”
— feeling insecure this morning.
Ary pointed out some blooming Datura
i guess they´re the same as ours..
but they had no scent right now.. too late in the day? (round 9am)
— i love explaining what these plants do to these people…
we all went into a monkey-proof building
where the rest of the group sat down to some guy telling them about the island and the monkey´s there
Ary whispered in my ear “follow me if you´d like to eat something”
so when he dissappeared
i dissappeard with him..
into the back
a kitchen.
he gave me some bannanas: chiquita and manza
had to wait for the water to boil
so i sat and watched the monkey, listened…
when the food was ready
a woman gave it to me:
a bowl full of broth… and a cat-fish.
with scallions!
and a plate of boiled plantains.
Ary came back in and grabbed the plantains and mashed them into the broth
and kept laughing while we ate:
that´s what they eat here
” all the tourist food is junk ”
and, indeed, this food filled me better… for the rest of the day.
simple real food.
back at the lodge
i went to see the giant ceiba tree again
huge. beautiful. gigantic ( a big big hug )
fold big enough to get lost in..
my one complaint with the jungle: i could never just sit and spend time with the trees: it´d get eaten to death by the skeeters.
so i walked on windy paths through the forest
trying to remember the turns i was taking so as not to get lost
up and down around
amazing tree and plant after another
but i couldn´t linger long on any of them
so i just walked
breathing deep
taking it in
being with it..
i realized, after a while
that, though it looks like the path was winding
it was actually pretty straight: i could just feel it
and following that feeling
i ended up at the back propety line:
a fence…
18 acres, Ary said…
so, heading back, i had very little worry about time or getting lost
just followed that feeling: straight back to the lodge
came out by judy´s room in a little over a quarter hour.
time enough for a shower, swim (the pool water left me feeling sticky)
skipped lunch, ate some more bananas
and it was time to go:
i was still the last one on the boat
one of the medium sized covered ones… back to Iquitos..
watching the jungle turn to town
but never really to city..
big buildings, yes… but still with thatched rooves… sometimes layered between the palms and tin…
we got in the wooden bus
and rode back out to the airport..
i wondered where Dan had lived here
had he stayed in the city the whole time?
why didn´t he live in the jungle?
the airport…
hustling through things
people always in a rush
for what?
more waiting.
while waiting
everyone started talking
through side comments under their breath
about tipping Ary…
what?
i dismissed the idea by saying ” i´ve already tipped him: i gave him a massage ”
coz i don´t really like the idea of tipping.
(that being said, anytime i buy anything in NYC, i give an extra dollar.. but food is different than personal service: like a massage… i rarely get tipped– i charge enough)
but he kept making comments about money
so i gave him another 20 soles…
coz jim said he´d given him 40…
it was only later that i realized jim had paid him in Dollars
and then i felt bad
20 soles is about 6 dollars…
but it was too late.
Ary had left
and we were getting on the plane
and flying to some small town elsewhere in the Amazon reigon…
some beautiful mountainous jungle place
we lifted off again
to see the moon rise: yes, full tonight.
sun gone
landed in Lima just an hour later…
then met Walter: our new guide.
came back to the hotel
and i tried to get to sleep as soon as possible so i could wake up early to come down and journal and FTP those pictures…