I got my first IKEA catalogue in the mail today
I can’t imagine ever using it
but it made me feel like I had crossed some sort of threshold
.iP
I want to fill Tom’s shuffle the rest of the way with indie folk country sad ballads
amazed
Elliot smith
Lloyd Cole
stephin Merritt
of course
people who are able to wield emotions so deftly
do they take them seriously?
as they play with them…
play
it’s a game
such heart-wrenching feelings
right?
of course
that is why I should be writing pop songs
to play with emotions
obviously I take emotions too seriously
terrified by them
stifled
not exactly paralyzed
but made insane
but not to numb out to them
to delve into them and wield them
yes?
just playing
making art
just playing
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on the train now
heading back to the city…
will it rain tonight
and block out the full moon?
will I ever be able to change all the stupid wasteful people in the
world?
will I learn to accept them? and myself?
will i, someday, surpass this Karmic cycle and not have to suffer
through it so frequently? ever?
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and walk in their foot steps
feel what they felt
the dog prints tend to feel best on my feet
maybe it’s a stance
but I often tell people I don’t believe in Evil, but,…
lately
I’ve been understanding the disadvantage that puts me at for most human pursuits
tonight
I came to an understanding of the difference between good and evil
so simple and obvious
but useful and practical
and
for all intents and purposes
True and Nice
24 hours with an Antipode of myself
which, as far as polarities go, is pretty interesting in itself
people constantly bickering
a man continually talking to himself
and when he speaks it’s almost a mockery of a stereo type
is probably gay
and a woman so . . .
well, they’re very nice people
but there’s the endless stories drama and money and the past
not they
but he
smokes all day
drinks all day
and makes insane announcements after audibly hearing his brain shift gears for extended moments
“did you hear that the whole Organic food movement is bunk? just a scam to make money: there’s no difference. I saw an Expose on TV this weekend…”
the world here… somehow
I saw, again, why I don’t watch tv
some beautiful stuff
– rocks that slide around magically in death valley!-
but even that is all presented in paradigms of drama and fear…
one said he was angry that the tv said these things! they aren’t true! and they confuse us! and we’re addicted to it!
yes.
a modicum of examples…
but in my life
it’s about the energy that puts you to sleep and erases you
is Evil
that which enlivens you: makes you wish more, thus, interact with all that is living… and guides and supports you
Simply, Good
and resonates with my being
it is useful to use and have both forces, yes
in good measure
and evil
but to Do
to Be
i am drawn more to Good
and Evil bores me and pisses me off
.iP
“…yeah, and other political corporation created nanotechnology like the HIV virus…”
.iP
Who can tell me something interesting about the Lupinari?
and how do they differ from the Galabanti?
I assume Lupus is Wolf, yes?
the i at the end is plural
what is the ar?
any stories or fine points?
.iP
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this morning I saw a baby carriage at the top of the stairs
later
a pile of bikes at the opening path to the beach
and at the foot of the stairs
a million sandals, chair…
it’s nice to be a place where people feel safe
unafraid
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husbands making fun of their wives
couples bickering
girl friends snapping at eachother
now quick
everybody smile
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