This morning i woke up lazy
… strange dreams
but i figured i’d be “doing ayhuasca” today
so i had tea for breakfast
all four varieties:
Maté de Cocao, Manzanilla (chamomile), Anis, Canela y Clovo, and a glass of Star fruit juice.
i enjoyed petting the capybara again this morning
that strange clicking sound he makes
… even the pet dog was friendly with him…
then we went off to the school
a small open air boat down the Napo
in the next stream
we went into the first big house we came to
surrounded by animals
… pigs, chickens…
and a strange raccoon-like creature they had made a pet of
a “guatamundi”
the mother held it
cuddled it
played with it
then it jumped out of her lap and ran along the roof beams
Ary was using this house to explain things about the culture..
in this area
they are trying to make the people stop killing all the animals
— everyone here kills everything they can get their hands on
and eats them
but it’s not good for tourism:
all the animals learn to be afraid of humans
so don’t come around
so this raccoon thing, the capybara at the lodge
trying to convince people to see them as friends and stop hunting them.
mmmm
he showed us the construction of the house
the kitchen:
open fire stove
flame licking up
smoke blackened ceiling
a work shop
the little raccoon thing interested… but skirting us.
we left there, thanking them
walked around and saw various houses
Ary gave me a fresh chiquita banana
small, but not a finger banana
The children gathered
clotted to us like platelettes
followed us in droves
to the house built high, on a little hill, to look over the river
the family that sold the gasoline
.. another strange raccoon beast
another house
with baby kittens, still blind, staggering around the floor
it was a wonder they didn’t get smashed
bought more necklaces from the young girls…
went through a large brick building with a satelite phone
men Taking the day off, drinking their own rum
drunk in the morning
-loud-
across a large covered bridge to the school-house
… i’d started chasing the kids around
getting them all riled up
scaring them
growling
running around..
but in the school
everyone was calm
Jim remarked on how patient they all were–
lack of Tv & Cocacola?
they sang us their national anthem
so we sang them ours..
i didn’t know all the words…
and could not sing it from my heart
just swallowed it
we sang the ABC’s song twice
sang the second time with me pointing at the alphabet chart so they could have some idea of what we were singing about
… we gave our gifts
then headed out to the lawn
more shopping
i bought another necklace
then took off my jacket
let down my hair (i’d braided my beard to entertain them)
took off my sandals
… and started chasing them!
running all around the yard
slipping in the grass
catching kids (not trying too hard to catch them)
lifting them over my head
roaring and growling
i stopped for a while to rest
and tried to teach a kid who was playing a string game by himself
our “cat’s cradle”
which i played growing up
and it’s more fun, right? you do it with two people…
… he didn’t get it
Regina and i started doing it
and then a local woman recognized it
and she started showing the kid…
just then
i grabbed a kid who had forgotten i was a monster
– a boy wearing a “quicksilver” shirt who i’d not been able to catch before
— i spun him around a long time and lifted him up and down…
turned him upside down
and tickled him squirming on the ground
… chased a few more kids around
then we went to the boat to leave
the kids followed us
and one of them hurt another
so i leaped out of the boat
and picked up the little crying boy
& carried him away from the throng
cradling him like a baby
i pet/reikied his head & kissed his neck, trying to make him feel better
— never been great at comforting people
but the attention made him stop crying
he just looked at me
.. i put him down in the grass
waved Bye
and ran down to the boat
back to the lodge
i napped & slept through lunch!
woke right before everyone left to visit the shamans at the EthnoBotanical garden..
caught up & sat & listened to another guide with another group…
Ary handed me a variety of spilanthes:
same affect
but different than ours: smaller flowers..
perhaps 7mm diameter
he then introduced me to one of the shamans who took care of the gardens
a guy named Guillermo
who offered to give me a tattoo from the same plant i’d read about Tobias Schneebaum using to colour his body black when he lived in the amazon..
it was called Huito
they asked me what i wanted on my face!
i told them “Jaguar”
and i thought he’d do it in the shaman style like i’d seen in the museum
but.. he did a little cat face on my fore head!
it looked kinda silly
but there i was: stuck with it for a week or so.
it was watery, very light grey when he put it on
over the next few hours it darkened to black
the two shamans (the other was named Julio)
gave out peices of Uña de Gato
and offered to sell us balm made of it
and some special type of oil they said was all the rage in china…
— i asked Guillermo if he would show me the Ayhuasca (” Soul Vine “)
he showed me where it was… and then how it was growing Everywhere!
— right next to some San Pedro cacti
he told me the vine was mixed with the leaves of Yage (they call it Ayhuasca “yage” in columbia.. but here it is another plant)
the leaves of another sisterplant: Chacaruna
and … “Angel Trumpets”… “Toé” … or what we know as “Datura”
he cut me a small slice of the vine
i smelled it
licked it
he said it was used here as a regular medicine to rid the body of parasites
but mixed with the others for shamanic work…
then he lifted the lid off a bucked by the wall behind us
and… there was an Anaconda inside.
he pulled it out and held it up for me to see
then let me hold it
… the rain was coming down now
and our group had left while i was looking at the plants
so i just enjoyed the feel of the snake on my body
let it crawl up my arm
wrap itself around my neck and chest
it’s not poisonous: it’s a constrictor…
like the snake i had as a pet for many years as a teenager
.. he took some pictures of me
then gave me a large piece of fresh Ayahuasca, Uña de Gato balm
and the special oil
“copiaba” oil…
and a plastic bag to wrap the camera in
i walked back through the rain, through the forest
and got to the dock just in time for the boat to be leaving:
they were heading off to catch Piranas!
so i ran down to the dock and jumped in the boat
and off we sped.
i took off my shirt
put everything in the plastic bag
.. everyone else was wearing panchos
– i was naked to the waist
i stood up in the boat
feeling the rain hit my body..
it was cold if i was sitting down
but
for some reason
warm when i was standing up
so i rode most of the way standing
it put me more in touch with my surroundings
exhilerating
all that nature touching me so intensely
i was high..
the destination was the same inlet the school was on
but much further back
we baited simple stick-rods, lines, hooks with…
beef? pork? water buffalo?
stuck hunks of raw meat on the hooks
and dangled them in the water.
because pirana have such sharp teeth
they don’t get caught the same way
they don’t try and swallow the whole bait
they just rip it to shreds: avoiding the hook
so the technique for catching them was different
: when you felt them biting
you had to yank the rod quicky
attempting to spear the fish
our beefy and very indigenous-looking boat driver was excellent at catching them
he caught three big fish
apart from him
i am the only one who caught any
and i caught two small ones
which, apparently, one wasn’t a pirana
but some other variety of similar fish.
mine was the size of an angel fish
his were the size of two & 1/2 fists
orange belly, big teeth
Ary told us they wouldn’t eat us
it’s only in the movies that humans get devoured by pirana
he stuck his hand in the water
the women gasped…
out of meat
the mosquitoes getting heavy
and everyone tired of not catching anything
we rode back to the lodge
— not much rain
heavy clouds
beautiful.
i stood up in the boat when we got back on the napo to try and dry my pants…
i kept turning to watch our boat driver…
turning back to watch the water and sky
… eventually i got cold an sat down
right before we turned back up the Sucusari (where ExplorNapo is)
i was continually amazed at how much water our boat and small engine displaced
huge waves that would rock & fill the low-riding dug-out canoes…
sometimes we’d slow down as we passed the locals
other times
the drivers wouldn’t notice them and get them wet…
when we got back
Jim had been watching the Yellow Rump Cassics making their nests
hanging sack-like nests from the branches in the trees out front
he said he’d been out there for over an hour
.. i went to shower
then rub the oil of Copiaba on me.
i rested for a while in the room
then went back to the lodge & deck to chat with Jim &E&D&J&P.
we went in for dinner
i had more tea while Ary played & sang
i realized now was not the time for consuming & brewing Ayuhuaca
so i ate dinner
which wasn’t great:
the first lodge had much better food…
and i notice Ary never ate the food they served for us…
but the papaya was good
then we got back in the same boat & went out for a night ride…
motor at first… slow… quiet…
up stream.
further…
deeper..
then motor-off…
just two men paddling (guillermo up front)
we saw birds, “manequin”, sleeping in the trees,
their plump little bodies squat and still on the tiny branches
& in one
a black/green/shiny snake heading up the branches to eat one of the birds!
Guillermo grabbed the snake out of the tree (he’s a snake aficionado)
and gave it to me.
everybody in the boat freaked out
— Jim included.
very unhappy i had the snake in the boat
but i pet him and held him & wrapped him round my neck..
but he was uncomfortable… wanted to be released
and everyone was on his side
so i let him go on a bank after about 10 minutes from the tree where the bird was:
better luck next time..
more birds on the branches..
sleeping blue iridescent butterflies
tree frogs
and other frogs…
the sky cleared
the ring around the moon
Jupiter?
watching it reflected inn the water..
the frogs, crickets, birds all talking
conversations
quiet
listening…
fireflies…
moving through the dark liquid night…
back to the lodge
Guillermo gave Pancho a massage
so i got my oil and worked on Ary for a while
sitting in the chair for a bit
but massaging in a char is no good [no bueno]
so i he layed on the floor & i did my proper style
neck, head, face, shoulders, back & chest.
reiki…
he was zonked
he was impressed
i was glad
only us left in the lodge
he was passed out for a while
when he woke
i told him to drink plenty of water
then came to bed to write by the light of the lantern
DONE!
… it’s about 18:15 now, raining
went to sleep last night about 8, i guess.
fell asleep pretty easy — & slept well.
[thunder rolling through the sky]
woke about 7 or so today…
stretched a bit . .
felt the soreness in my shoulders from two days ago.
legs from the cliff side.
but the morning was beautiful…
as i lay in bed turning over & over
i kept hearing the things hitting the roof
[thunder]
& thought it was rain.
but it wasn’t, still clear skies…
some clouds…
Breakfast —
i ate the rest of the Medjool Dates i brought from California..
havine one to give to Ary…
explaining to him that it was like a banana of the desert
from a palm.
–he liked it…
but who wouldn’t like a medjool date?
mmmmmmmmm
—&There were GOOD omletes!
Regina, from Ronkokomo, does NOT eat Eggs.
poor girl…
she explained – her mother was an Orthodox Jew, Father a very poor German
bland foods.
anyway
We said GoodBye to the Noisy, but Beautiful, Parrots
… vulchers roosting on the roof of the bird house…
— put our stuff in the boat —
then walked across land to the YanaMono Clinic
started by an American woman, Dr. Linnea Smith
though she was back in the USA learning some new medical advancement at the time we were there…
She came here as a tourist back in ’90 and decided working here was more important than anything she was doing in Wisconsin…
nice of her
but this clinic was Aleopathic, western medicine
though, talking with the other doctor who was there ( a local man who’s family lived in Iquitos)
it sounded like they still used SOME of the plants
the example he gave, oddly enough, was how they used Ayahuasca to help cure people of parasites in the intestines…
he told us it was very infrequent that they treated malaria
and then
it was mostly hunters and fishers who were out after dark, spending a lot of time still in the jungle
.. i figured, from the statistics he gave, that we had less than a 3% chance of getting malaria while we were there..
now if the book had said that i wouldn’t have worried about it at all!
On the walk out to the clinic
we passed by quite a few cow-dung heaps
with many mushrooms growing out of them
at one point, Ary stopped us and asked me to explain to the group what these were used for
i told them it was used for unifying the consciousness of groups of people
like an entire tribe
or tribunal of shamans
Judy (CO) asked if it Really did that – or i just THOUGHT it did
— i related the story of Tucson with Syzygy & Scott Webel
[basically, i imagined i was controling Syzygy with my mind, but also believed it was just a hallucination.. and Scott, who had not consumed any mushrooms, stopped me by telling me i “should go play puppets” with myself – terrorfied me not only for that one instance, but of the many others i’d had and Not had a ‘control’ person be able to verify what i was doing from the outside — i was 20 at the time]
… Later i told her the nature of mushrooms (rhizome connection, one being; dissolving everything back into primal nature) and Monotheism (everything is just one thing anyway, awareness of that allows consciousness as that)
Ary told her not to listen to me
and i made a show of grabbing two of the largest caps and sticking them in my pocket
i ate one
Ary told me they were much stronger than anything i’d get in the US
… but he’s a Nationalist
.. i hardly felt anything..
…but enough to know that right now was NOT a good time to have a mushroom trip.
i threw the other overboard on the boat trip up the Napo River.
The Dolfins run here
they don’t come up to the boat to say Hello
they don’t follow and play
— all the animals in the jungle are hunted and eaten by the people that live out here
and, just like almost everywhere else on the planet, the people are multiplying like crazy
so the animals everywhere are terrified of humans
— the tourism people are trying to stop the people out here from doing that
so that the tourists actually have something to see..
there are two types of dolfins in the amazon
pink and grey… fresh water dolfins!
– the first spanish explorers called the amazon “el Rio Mar”
the River-Sea
coz it’s So Huge.
& like the sea
wind & storms
very deep…
i sat up front this time
& rode out the mushroom
stuffy nose, slightly giddy
nothing Really Happening though…
just a higher degree of self consciousness
— but i do understand now the mushrooms i saw in Brazil last year
– these are not Psylacibie Qubensis … it’s something else
& i remember someone at Wolf Creek having brought some back for Beltane once..
explaing “amazonian witches mushrooms”
— something else.
–
(arrived at the NapoLodge)
when i got off the boat at the lodge
walked up the planks onto the land
i was greeted by a strange black chicken thing (Ary called him Raul)
who ran right up to me
and started pecking at my shoes and legs kinds playfully
he wouldn’t let me pet him
but he danced around me…
The lodge here is similar to the other one
Nice Long Walkways…
i took a NAP.
Jim takes naps a lot…
this trip is very healing
all the oxygen in the jungle…
& all the Naps.
Rest: i need it.
when i woke
i walked over to the dining hall to get lunch
but it wasn’t ready yet
… out side
i ran into a large rodent thing
Ary called him Charlie
… apparently it’s a Capivara
the largest Rodent on earth!
Nayland had just showed me one of these in the Natural History Museum a few weeks ago..
he was kinda cute
strange
he really liked being pet, though
he made little happy squeeling/yippy noises when i pet him
thick brown fur, sparsely on the body…
big tri-tipped feet.
strange.
we had a lunch of pineapple chicken
palm heart salad
olive tamari rice
yuca
rolls
i had Two servings of chicken
then came here to sleep again!
Woke just in time
[thunder]
for our canopy walk..
groggy, i forgot the camera…
only noticed about 10 minutes into the walk when i saw Dietmar taking a picture of a tree…
& I Wanted Pictures Of This!
so i bolted back
running through the jungle IS GREAT!
so much oxygen & moisture in the air
– no asthmatic feelings at all
… my lungs often get dry and arid feeling when i run..
but there were quite a few turns on the trail
i did my best to remember where the turns were
up to this point they had all been right turns (but not at every branch…)
so at the lodge
i walked to catch my breath
then ran back along the trail
following the rights…
when i got to the point i’d left the group at
i started walking again
to breathe…
and to watch
next turn… i took a right
walked fast
called out ” HOLA! ”
… no reply
walked faster
called again
heard a response
– i was on the right trail! –
so i ran…
& caught up.
[had dinner, back at 21:45]
sweating profusely
we stood around
so i could catch my breath
but really
Ary was showing the group where the Army Ants lived
smashing up their house in the roots of a big tree to get them all to run out
amazing everyone at their population
Yeah.
we took a left at the next branch
down
and a right back up the hill
a small short cut
(i’m glad i got back when i did)
ary showed us the special palms in the forest that they used to make the rooves
Lapido Cardium
a special oil in the leaves
great protection from rain… and decay
they only need to change them every 8 years or so…
— these palms only grow around here, he said…
and then we were there at the Canopy Tower
the exit tower, we were doing it backwards.
the walks and platforms were hoisted to the trees with steel cables
the trees supported by steel cabels connected to the earth somewhere
… the idea came from a man in Borneo who had visited
had built a few there and thought it would be good here
only one other in the world, in Costa Rica…( or guatemala?)
they thought it would be great for scientific study… but it’s beautiful for Tourists too
only 3 people on the planks at a time
(aluminum ladders with wood boards on top,
ropes through the rungs;
dacron nets along the sides up to rope hand rails hanging off the steel cables.)
& 4 people allowed on a platform
( : wooden tree-house type areas high up in the threes…
suspended by steel cables connected to the trees with padding, trees supported from falling by steel cabels connected to the ground)
so we went in teams of 4
— dietmar, elizabeth, judy & pancho went first.
then the accountant & his wife & kid
then Jim, Judy, Christine & Regina
— Ary and i stayed back to wait for the Noisy Americans to get far ahead…
.we talked about yoga & martial arts
— he was impressed by my streatching… & he has studied various Martial arts most of his life
— he’s a black belt in a few of them…
.spiritual healers & brazil
— he was interested to hear about John of God and told me about someone he’d heard about…
.traveling & our work
–he’s travelled a lot as well in his day: his wife is american
–and he was curious of my way of… Living
… while the musquitos gathered..
then he let me go…
always allowing me plenty of time to just watch & soak up the beauty
… the green.
while i stopped to feel the energy of the trees up there
i was amazed to see ants all of the way at the top of the trees…
but i guess that’s part of their work…
the vistas that went on forever
from up there..
it kinda looked like the grasslands of Kansas
.. it was beautiful.
the view, the trees, all the green
so healing in so many ways
… but i was taking too long
everyone started calling up to me
complaining
afraid we’d get caught in the dark
but the trip back was just over a half hour at the longest
and we had over an hour and a quarter left before Night
so.. i took my time.
& lagged behind them on th eway back to take pictures
.. til it got too dark to take the pictures without a flash
— the forest getting dark much quicker than the sky
( i did not figure that well into my calculations )
…& the clouds were getting heavy too
( i could see them comming in from the canopy… from the boat right out here too
i’d been watching them all day… wondering if they’d blow through or… stay a while )
Large things started falling from the forest ceiling…
walking so far behind the group
i couldn’t hear their noise…
i got a bit spooked at the crashing sounds
looking for large animals… or monsters
i ran to catch up
& walked the last five minutes back to the logdge
at the front of the group
when we got out; back to the resort
i played with the strange chicken/birds: “Raul” & his mate…
just as i’d finished taking pictures of them
it started to lightly rain
— as i walked back to the room
the rain turned to a downpour.
i took off my pants & shoes,
put away the camera…
& walked out into the rain…
for about 45 minutes or so…
letting the rain drench my shirt & boxers…
letting it wash all the sweat off’
cool me down.
i wrote for a while, naked in my bed
then changed into my loose billowing cotton pants & army shirt (with all the pockets)
& went to have dinner…
hot chocolate first
… then More!
& purple corn & prune jelly/pudding
with pineapple
then spaghetti alfredo with mushrooms
rice with salsa
cat fish in tomato sauce
cooked whole tomato
green beans
some cauliflowers & salad…
drank a cup of coco tea…
talking with E&D about Tucson
then A&J&P about martial arts & dancing;
then a toilet break
and back to talk with Jim & R about Polotics…
drank a bit of absinth
… then came back to the room to write!
rain still falling
i gotta pee again
… then sleep.
[ i’ve had the songs “kerosene hat” & “communist’s daughter” in my head today… as well as “fade into you” and “knuckle too far” since i left… i sang them in the rain. ]
we didn´t wake up til about 11 am this morning
and it was slow…
but after Jim left the room
i took a shower
and organized my things…
–noticing i had an acute paranoia…
so i got the key the safe-box in the room
and locked up my money and passport and tickets… Jim´s too…
then i left Jim in the lobby reading a magazine
to walk around the city.
— as Sao Paolo did last year, the air here kinda burned my nose and throat…
big cities…
just the slight difference of pollution control between here and NY makes the difference..
that
and i´ve been used to the clean air out in the desert… so i´m actually breathing deeply..
—i walked down to the ocean..
beautiful high cliffs covered in morning glories
tourists parasailing
gardins of beautiful purple succulents…
it´s spring here…
there was a large section of the garden made for lovers…
a huge statue of a man and a woman laying together and kissing
mosaic benches about 200ft long
in a U shape
… creating an intimate space..
and the ocean beyond..
the green cliffs down to the road, the beach
a little dirt trail for those who would walk..
i took pictures
and smiled at the people who were curious of my look
— beautiful women..
but i had to be aware of time: we were meeting the guide at 12:30
i got back just in time
but she was a half hour late…
South American Time!
— it gave everyone in the group a chance to talk.
9 of us on this Pre-trip section
all couples, except one woman from the mountains outside of Denver, CO
a german/latina couple from Tucson
a spanish speaking couple from near San Antonio
two female friends from NYC (jamaica and Ronkokamo)
we piled in the bus
and drove down to the retaurant
all telling stories of or lives and travels
— i hardly remember anyone´s names..
then we drove off into Lima
(we´re staying in a nice sea-side tourist district called Miraflores — litterally “Look at Flowers”)
the old architecture
the slight dilapidation… the colours..
our guide, Nieves, pointed out a man sitting down on the corner with a clip-board
he was marking what time the busses went by
and
if a driver wanted to
he could stop and ask when the last one was
to know if he should speed up or slow down..
and he´d give him 20cents for the information..
apparently
people do this because they make more money at this than the minimum wage.
similarily
men were sitting next to stacks of cardboard boxes:
they sell these to anyone who needs them to organize things in their houses, etc…
2 or 3 Soles…
but maybe 35 for a refrigerator box..
ah… the stuff we cast off in the US is still usefull and precious here.
we went to the natural history museum
and i very quickly got out my camera and started photographing the strange drinking jugs with two pipes to a single mouth piece–
all sorts of faces and characters
contortionists
people having sex, masturbating
animals, gods, trophy heads
san pedro cacti sitting in pots
so our guide could explain to us the strange transformations of the Shamans into Jaguars…
i bought a little change purse
and some chocolate
jim bought some jugs of couples copulating
and we got back into the van
driving further into the centre of Lima
we started seeing the really interesting ornate architecture and colours
… stopped in traffic
i was taking pictures
and the idea occured to me that this might be the first foreign trip i have pictures of..
most of my negatives were destroyed from the time i lived in england as a 17 year old
before i got to print them
and the mongolia trip, Kwai took all the pics and i´ve only seen a hand full of them..
i didn´t have a camera in south africa, but a few were taken, i have one envelope of them
but i had no camera in europe:
just the photobooth pictures
my return trip to america had all the pics i took from my crapy archos mp3 camera
and i took many with it in Brazil
but it was stolen upon return to the US in Miami..
i opened the window to get a better shot
leaned out the window to take some pictures
and a man jumped out from behind the bus and grabbed my camera and ran off with it..
— the sensation was so strange
i was surprised
but at the same time
if someone interracts with my body so intimately as to remove something from my hand
my first impression is that they are supposed to be doing that
or that i know them, somehow
a relationship is assumed
so i kinda let him do it before i realized what happened
— i´d never had anything stolen from me directly: only when i wasn´t around
it only took me a second to realize what happened though
and i tried to follow him, of course
the people in the bus were shocked and confused when i bolted out
running through traffic
but when i got to the sidewalk
there was no trace of him
just people staring at me
… however strange i might have looked
it was obvious enough that i was a tourist
thus, getting no help from them
i took a breath
and let it go
walked back to the bus
and explained what happened
it put a bit of a damper on things
and people kept bringing it up
telling their stories..
it heightened my paranoia..
when we got out to walk around the square
beutiful old buildings, great colours..
mustard yellow
powder blue
moss green…
with old ornage wooden balconies
and an elaborate fountain in the centre…
i started feeling angry with all people staring at me
(looking like jesus)
all the people asking us to buy things
i did my best to just relax and release
what else to do?
buy a little bag to hide my wallet in so i wouldn´t be worried about pick pockets..
then into an old Franciscan monastery…
that certainly helped calm me..
down in to the catacombs
the piles of bones
arranged into patterns
have fun..
the guide suggested i file a police report to see if the traveller´s insurance would cover it..
so we dropped off the rest of the group at the hotel
and headed out to the police station
she explained to me that we´d have to kinda lie to them
tell them it happened here in Miraflores instead of down town Lima
or we´d have to go all the way back there
and it would take much much longer
— so she made up a story and told it to me and told me i had to tell it..
“this is how things work here”
… yes, i know.
fortunately
the police who took my report did not speak english
so she did all the lying… i just complied.
when we were finished
she got the paperwork
and went back to the hotel in a taxi..
—up to this point, i´d not see any of the Cent pieces..
only 1, 2 and 5 Soles coins, along with the bills..
most of our group didn´t even have Soles… prefering to use dollars
which work here just as well
thought it´s slightly more expensive… less hassle.
i was a bit worried that i was too much in the tourist circuit
an wouldn’t even see the cent pieces
but when i paid to have the police report photocopied
i got 60cents change…
i went to buy things at the artisans´ market…
colourful pointy hats for nayland…
NO!
but some bags (i needed one… and could share)
some gloves
some socks
and a hat for the bright sun in the jungle…
i walked home
down the main strip
a little boy followed me
at first
i thought he was just following me
but pretty soon
i realized he was begging..
which was funny, i thought about giving him some change when i first saw him
but thought it would engender bad habits in him..
as i walked along
and he hopped next to me
i sang him little songs about
Desculpe… los siento.. que lastima.. Little Boy…
he kept repeating something
but it wasn´t really TO me
he didn´t say it loud enough
i told him he´d have to get stronger..
and eventually he got tired of following me.
when i got back to the hotel
jim had gone out to eat already
so i just dropped my stuff off in the room
ate some dates
and came down here to write before heading out to get a bit to eat myself.
jim walked by a little bit ago
i gave him the room key..
and tomorrow
we leave at 4am for Iquitos.
i am pretty sure i won´t have internet access when i get there
so i´ll back-date the days when i´m back
along with a current one.
i´ve got a paper book i´m making notes in to be able to write more interesting daily accounts on here
———— (updated at 10:42) ———-
i just got back from dinner:
10:45
i walked out the door after posting the Day 1 entry
and realized i didn´t know where i was going..
i turned left
turned right
and started walking..
deciding i didn´t want to be out late
because i have to be up at 3am…
the first restaurant i came to was a nice little italian perrilla (grill)
and i was happy enough looking at the menu that i went in and asked if they were still serving food (in my very broken spanish ” su… Abierto? “)
he assured me they were
and i sat down at the table behind the door
set for four
he handed me the menu
and while i perused it
he cleared the rest of the seating..
it seemed so strange
but made me grateful he did so
— to not draw attention to my eating alone.
i decided to get a glass of wine
Morcilla (blood pudding, a house specialty) for starters
and a Milanese con Funghi… which i didn´t know what that was.
the garlic bread he brought out had three wonderful condiments:
oil and parsley with garlic
a wonderfully spiced hot chili paste
and a sour cream house dressing thing
they balanced eachother wonderfully
and i was half through the basket when the morcilla came
… i hadn´t eaten blood sausage since switzerland with my friend Wolfgang..
and that was the only time i´d ever eaten it before…
it was wonderful in Zürich…
nothing much to speak of here…
warm and filling and energizing..
i could feel the blood pumping
like i was filling up with iron..
but it didn´t really taste like much
… but cooked blood.
finished with enough time to finish the bread
before the Milanese came out
and what was it?
a breaded veal
pounded out and covered in cheese and mushrooms
nice
i enjoyed it
but by the end
was just shoving it in my mouth
coz i was tired and had to poo and wanted to get home..
paid him 45 soles
and thanked him
walked out onto the street
turned right, turned left
and decided to walk to the ocean.
turned out this was the exact street i took down to the ocean earlier today
so i breathed in the air
watched the lights
and walked left
back towards the lovers´ monument..
there were many couples kissing on beanches as it was..
where were the fags though?
perhaps by the pissoir?
no, that was locked for the night..
i noticed a little seat on the other side of the fence
right on the edge of the cliff
i crossed the barrier and sat down
watching the waves lap at the shore
pushing themselves back out
and heaving in…
wondering if someone would come up behind me and push me over…
wondering why i was so scared here…
vibe?
i got back up
and walked along the embankment behind the area i walked earlier
a boy and girl making out in the dark..
was she holding his dick?
i walked on
and saw a path starting under the fence..
a steep drop
but it only took me a second to realize i wanted to put my feet in the water……..
so down the edifice i went..
weaving down the cliff
slipping on the rocks
traipsing through the morning glories..
— it doesn´t rain here
they had watering hoses hidden in the vines.
when i got down to the road
a cop had pulled a motorcyclist over
i hoped he wouldn´t stop me…
… he didn´t.
but when i got to the freeway
i noticed a big wall… so how was i to get to the sea?
i walked along
and found a stairway
long and winding down and out and down and over and down.
to the beach!
which wasn´t a beach…
i noticed they called all the parkinglots in Lima “playa” today..
maybe it´s coz no one knows what a Beach is?
it was all pebbles… rocks.. to stop the erosion?
something..
but no sand of which to speak
well… perhaps a bit
but it was all covered in bigger stones!
in fact
the cliffs were made of the same thing
some dirt.. gravel… stones…
looked very unstable..
i got to a place the ocean could reach me
and lifted my pant legs up
and let the water lap at me..
i was a bit worried it was polluted..
but i figured i was already… and i´d come all this way
so i wasn´t going to let that stop me.
it felt great.
then it was time to head home.
up the stairs
up the cliff
back along the ocean walk-way
a girl passed me twice on a bike..
was she circling all night?
what was the thorne in her side?
i know mine…
i stopped and did pull-ups on a bar
and found the same road back to the hotel:
Francia to Grau…
back here
and i really need to take a crap (and pack for tomorrow)
yes…
really need to let go of some things..
like how i was thinking of “the power of now” again
and how i remembered that when i was a 19
in my acid and mushroom days
i came to the understanding that i could succeed at finding peace
but it would probably mean that i´d have to give up my idea of being famous for being a tortured artist…
as that is all i loved at that time: the beautiful utterances of the suffering.
and it was turmoil for me..
i wanted people to hear my wails of pain..
i didn´t want to let the bastards who made my childhood Hell to get away with it…
but over the years
that´s just not important to me anymore..
but the programming is still there…
what have i got to lose?
why not?
of course..
i didn´t sleep last night.
i´ve made a habit of it
before long trips
just not sleeping.
trying to wrap up loose ends..
maybe i´ve just got too many loose ends?
— i´m a frayed knot.
i bought four bottles of water for the plane, three for me and one for jim
some dates and a walnut bar
we started driving into LA at 7:30 am
.. i slept about a half hour
the ride in was mostly uneventful
G and J making their customary driving comments
“fucking cunt” and laughing at their jokes
i forgot to call my parents
so
borrowed jim´s phone
nattered with them both a bit..
my father was the one to say ” i love you ” this time
impressed
i nodded off in the back seat
and woke near the airport.
it started raining
and we had to take a bus from the terminal out to the gate
… never had done that before.
we flew LAN
and watched movies..
i got to watch Batman Begins
which i chose of Bewitched and Cindarella man
… i was feeling bitchy from lack of sleep
and didn´t pay much attention to the movie
thinking it was just a stupid fighting movie
until it started to draw me in
inspiring me
the belief of training people to destroy society every time it got over corrupt
and how Bruce Wayne was just too compassionate to believe that all hope was lost…
gonna do it the hard way
stop this avalance one boulder at a time..
the whole movie based on facing and overcomming/using your fears..
my favourite quote was
“it´s not who you are underneath that matters
it´s what you do that defines you”
i wrote down a few other things in my book that the movie made me think of:
-though i was not born a prince
that is no reason for me not to become one
(at this point in my life, i see that)
pleanty of people have mistaken me for one
it would be nice if i´d do the same
and educate myself into a pleasing super-human status
— sciences and martial arts… languages and arts..
… in this world of non-sequitors
all lineage has lost it´s roots..
perhaps i can find a place…
what use is hidden in my anger at the world?
what magic in my lonliness?
! i need a teacher! even still.. i will reject him.
— over all
the movie was entertaining.
i listened the new Moby album
.. the first track sounded promising… but it very quickly got tiring
:
i fell asleep
and woke at the next album.. something in spanish
a few tracks played before it woke me up enough to change it
to…?
the new ColdPlay record
ugh…
same feeling as always with them
— sounds pretty
but it´s really boring.
i turned it off
and started over BATMAN again to see the first 20 minutes or so that ignored
then napped a bit
read a bit
looked through the Machu Pichu book that Thor gave me
then ate again
then started reading “the power of now” that Leo had given me..
it read incredibly quickly for me..
perhaps because i felt like i knew it all already
— still, i was annoyed that i was reading some crap new-age text book
and thought it was funny that i was so judgemental and defensive about it
but it took til about page 30 that something really hit me
the place where he started talking about the difference between Love and Joy
versus
Emotions…
the word comes fromt he latin for “disturbance”
and he was saying
that what most people think is love
is just pleasure
hence
many relationships
quickly turn to anger and attacking
… and i couldn´t dissagree
i felt terrified..
but
we were there
… an 8 hour flight.
if i had started reading earlier, i could have finished it!
so i´ve got this trip to look forward to working through it.
minimal hassle at the Lima Airport
but i was really tired
and jim started telling me stories of when he was a teacher
and how he would hit the kids
and how it was good for them
because
basically
kids need attention
and they like it when an adult takes the time to discipline them
and maybe this is why i´d be a bad father
but shouldn´t there be another form of attention?
one of support and love?
then he went on to tell me story after story of the kind of father he had
drunk
beating up on his sons
killing their dog
— i stopped him
and told him over and over and over to stop telling me these abusive stories
it took me yelling at him a bit
and he said “well go to hell, then”
and pretty much shut off from me
fine.
i needed a rest
but felt bad
: i was not understood
and he was not understanding
and i´d done a bad job of protecting myself
( i hurt someone else )
the hotel was nice
but
such a change from the desert:
everything felt damp
we slept in seperate beds
a little night-stand between
like a Chassidic jew´s bedroom
or the Cleaver´s…
So
i’m leaving at 7:30 in the morning
heading to LAX
flying out of there at 12:55pm
landing in Lima at 11:55 pm
and then?
and then?
two days in Lima
then Iquitos
four days in the Amazon
then a few more days in Lima
then up to Cuzco
down …
to Machu Pichu for two days
then working back up
then a few days in Bolivia on Lake Titicaca
before reaturing to the US on the 28th.
i’ll do my best to post when i can
… meanwhile …
i had a very good morning
i didn’t wake up early
and was a bit wobbly still from the hang over
not so graceful
bumping into walls a bit
but
after enough water
Jim and i headed off to the mountain
and hiked..
for about four hours.
i got a bit of a tan
and a slight buzz in my legs…
Jim was wobbly by the end of it
— but we were working stuff out.
i took lots of pictures
Ahhh
to get up High.
i can’t believe i’m going to Peru.
— the day had conversations
and lots of stories..
some repeats.
lunch with Frank Martin
— he posted the pics i gave him on his website
if i could be so prolific!
i thought of so many things i wanted to write about
sex
massage
magic?
i don’t remember
lonliness?
gambling with age?
anyway
i’m tired now
and have no idea how i’ll leave everything behind..
but i will.
it was a good day
good massage
good cuddling
(thanks guys)
good stories
and
it’s always pretty amazing
here
the mass of people’s lives
from how long ago
damn
never enough time
and me to go around.
yes
sex should be fun
but a bit more than Play
so often
sex is a way of getting to know someone
and once i’ve gotten to know them enough
the desire
shall we say
has worn off?
sex is a nourishment
and many are starving
but sometimes it’s not enough
— and there are different flavors
in NYC i eat italian for the spice, really
but i could stand a steady diet of episcopal cuddling.
what’s the wish, then?
there’s a passing on of knowledge..
yes.
there’s the ReCreation of the world
of eachother
yes
it should be more than a few minutes
one passive
one active
it should be a dynamic dance
play..
sex is not something to base a relationship on
but it is certainly something to follow…
if it calls you
i love the sweat
the rush and push
that man.. that Teacher for Oakland
Oh!
i could imagine that going on forever!
but there are other feelings
of desperation
lonliness
need
not so good
but what was the good?
the chance meeting
the brushing of skin and fur
and the immediate stiffening and firing
yes
like that.
what more?
i still imagine it could be used to focus and attain everything
well… in part…
i went to the Pride Parade in Palm Springs
i’m not a Pride Parade kinda guy.
i’m not a Parade kinda guy.
the Parade bored me
i’m not interested in that, really
but all the beautiful men lined up to watch it..
that was great..
so i walked up and down the steet
talking
and taking pictures..
and lots of looking.
spying.
there were…
many hot men.
and christians who hated gay people
or
were
more importantly
afraid of being alive.
there were..
lots of people
beautiful
and the parade
many floats: empty.
most of the hot bears i took pictuers of
when i asked them
they said “why?”
they didn’t know they were hot.
people are so silly sometimes
aren’t we?
i saw old friends
that i don’t really like
and he doesn’t really like me
beautiful Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.
and…
oh…
he’s so cute.
i went back to the Desert Bear Inn with he and his Partner of 17 years, Greg.
Nice
cuddling and play
and pool
and on to Thai dinner
where
met up with us
— i sat through dinner again
and then went off to the Barracks
a bar.
[UGH}
i left immediately with a beautiful man named Steve.
he had to hide me from his lover (michael)
but the house was beautiful
his sweat was beautiful
the cross (lit up on the mountain top)
was beautiful
i had a great time
but there was such sadness
— i won’t talk about all of it
but Robert S in NYC/Michigan
reminding me of…
the hot passionate fully conected loving playful communicative sex
as a mistress
as a trend as a friend as an old memory
fucker
got a life already
so i was fun
it was fun
never really in my life
fucking dream
as i am, sargent.
he drove me back to the bar
where Frank was
and a really hot guy talked to someone
then walked in
Frank, i offered him a drink
— he wanted Peppermint Schnapps.
i bought him one… two came: one for me too
and a Hefferwissen.
and then this guy asked me “what’s with the hair?”
and he bought us all shots of Whiskey.
not scotch, fuck that: irish.
he’s irish.
his dick was a roll of dimes.
he was wearing a kilt.
we fell in love
fucker.
i loved kissing him
i loved my hands all over his body.
i loved it
i loved playing with him and talking with him and hearing him
and showing off
and he left without saying bye.
and i called him
and he told me his Hotel
but it was a lie.
and i called him and he said “NO, i’m going to sleep”
and i said
‘ men suck ‘
and now i feel kinda bad
and kinda drunk.
and i’m going to sleep.
some times things are so difficult
i was trying to set up a wireless router for Gene
(and myself, of course)
but, in trying to configure Gene’s computer to run ISPQ properly
i knocked his computer off the network
having no idea how i did it
and having no idea how to get it back on..
eventually
it worked came back on its own…
in the mean time
i tried to set up the new router using Jim’s computer
which was fine
but it wouldn’t connect to the internet….
so i plugged in the old router: it worked.
new router: no.
Ok.
so i got everything working again as it was before i started it
then i called Verizon Tech Support
they taught me to go into windows through the command prompt
and… a command that wasn’t there back when i used DOS
“ipconfig”
with the tags
“/all” “/release” “/renew”
which managed to get me completely lost from the internet
and infuriated.
i had a headache!
this is a big deal for me:
as a kid
i had headaches all the time
i was sick all the time
i was angry all the time
i was sad all the time
and i didn’t want to sleep
didn’t want to eat
didn’t love
didn’t want to live.
those teen-age days have been circling the camfire with the ghosts and wolves for the last few years
i’m out in the desert
and getting bored feeding the fire
my friend in LA gave me a[nother] documentry on the war in Iraq
yeah? lies? Really?
Jim came in and took me to dinner at a near by indian resaurant
— all organic food! which i was pretty impressed by
… and the hostess lady was very attentive and concerned..
the food was good..
i just didn’t have an appetite
and eating seems so… Wrong sometimes.
we walked back into the house to Gene watching DateLine on NBC
what was the episode titled?
something like “operation Pevert” or something
i don’t fucking remember
but we walked in just in time to see them entraping gay middle aged men
by luring them with the idea of 13 year olds and 14 year olds…
bating them along
leading them to a house
and then filming them as they get discoverd
and the fucking anchor man fucking investigator pick
gloats and strutts around him
“got you in a hard spot, don’t we pervert.. you’re FUCKED now!”
power tripping
— reminded me of how i felt in school
being antagonized by people who were also weak and scared like me
but who had me overpowered by numbers
(like heterosexuals.. and terrified christian suburbanites)
anyway
then they gave all the vital information about these poor men
-where they worked, how much they made, their full names
and told you could go to WWW.PervertedJustice.com (or something like that)
to get their telephone number if you wanted
this was all done through AOL by a company called Perverted Justice that sets this shit up!
a poor man, a Rabbi, was fucking gutted as it all came to light
and
as our sexually-sick culture pranced about making all sorts of assuptions
throwing stones in our glass house
no questions were asked…
what’s with this country?
formed by so many religous fanatics
and from cultures that are pretty sexually repressed anyway
cycling back
surpressing so much desire and natural flow of enegies..
mutilating men’s bodies to cut down on the pleasure
who’s the perverts?
in so many cultures
homosexulaity is in the weave of all life
in Societies..
so much knowlege is passed and processed..
Cultured that way..
and in so many
throughout History
the sex between the young and the old has been so important…
and still in many today!
to villinize
to cause surpression
cause boils..
infuriated
i could not stand to watch it
wanted desperately to call that poor Rabbi on the phone and console him
appologize for my country
appologize for the world we live in
offer appreciation and love
ugh
yes, Sick
yes
world is sick
it all comes out as puss…
how many sebaceous cysts have i squeezed out lately?
fucking sick.
left on hold with the help desk
all computers disabled..
my phone rang
and it was someone wanting a massage
“needing some love”
and i jumped at the chance
though it was late…
i needed to go work my body
move myself
try and make the world a little better
coz i was feeling like i wanted to throw the whole fucking thing away
and i hate when i get like that.
so
i’m back
and i’m tired
but
damn
the stars were beautiful
and i know at least one person feels better than he did two hours ago
me too, a bit.
Recent Comments