my character in my movie
doesn’t sleep enough
and rushes around the busy city
he’s always tires
and it’s such a large city
he’s always on the underground trains
and though there are millions of people there
they’re all family
when he sits down on the train
he sits next to someone
eyes closed, sunk into the vibration for their own long journey
he tilts his head onto their shoulder and nuzzles up to them
to take a little nap before someone has to rush back out onto the streets
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working with a new persona…
and a drunk guy on the subway tried to feed my bird a $100 bill
I tried to bite it… but missed
what if I were entertaining?
in public?
try it out.
saw a while bunch of people I felt love with today
lovely lovely lovely
and the sun shines down on me
thank you all
what am I so desperately looking for inside my iPhone?
there isn’t any love in there
no matter how many times I check the emails and voicemails and txt msgs
of course there’s love
lots of it
(problem’s that y’r missing it)
but not the love you need.
close your eyes now.
.iP
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i had thought putting Knox Gelatine in my hair would be a good
experience
as It dried
I realized it was just like the Gel I used as a teenager
but i had never coated my long hair with it
no matter how often friends of mine suggested it
big crusty
nourished?
I want to be Loved!
but don’t know how to play the game right
or good at living
or square one
why old friends don’t invite me to dinner
and old lovers have found other people to play The Game of Love with
or excuses not to get together anymore
I’ve caught a lite sneeze
and can’t seem to manage anything
while I plan out fantastic journies of isolation
and push around endless piles of my life I don’t know what to do with
Hello Saggitarius.
sitting on the train
trying to read the introduction to the 1967 translation of “The Pillow Book”
iPod playing…
two boys get on the train
young
Latino maybe, dark
I only see them out of the corner of my eye and can’t hear them
but the sit abnormally far apart to be talking to one another
yet I see their hands flailing
must be queens
I try and focus on reading
but the hands are really loud
i’ve never felt such a distraction
I glance up and look at them
of course
they are talking with their hands
still: loud and brash
I smile
and Morrissey is wailing away in my ears
some rare recordings I recently found in the web
I’ve always loved his voice
but this is the first time I hear how he sometimes just brays
brash and loud
maybe everything is just chafing today
I didn’t sleep well last night
woke today to a client ringing my bell
that I thought I had cancelled
worked for three hours
then set about cleaning and organizing the house
computer
preparing for the party tomorrow
I’d intended to leave at 4 or 5
I got out of the house about 10:45
after spending hours doing inane things
among which was looking for my quartz balls
which have dissappeared
færies?
.iP
the entire time i’ve lived in this apartment
the kitchen sink’s hot water has been but a trickle
i often have to leave it running for nearly an hour before i feel the heat
enough to do dishes
but… i’ve learned to live with it.
today, after giving a friend a three hour massage
i went to do dishes
and the full force of water came out the hot
got a new neighbor next door and there has been plenty of tinkering noises
coming from over there
(i think he’s gay too, which might be a nice balance)
whatever the reason
i am very thankful
LET IT FLOW.
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This guy I’m getting to know invited me over to his place to be
photographed by some people he’d met before (been shot once by)…
they’d been photographing in their room all day… wet plate…
it was chilly on the balcony, but beautiful.
Shot for ~30 seconds on the balcony over 23rd St,
developed and prepared in the closet with a curtain over it
by Kristen Hatgi (the hand) and Mark Sink.
they have a show at Robin Rice, 325 w11th st (btw Greenwich &
Washington Sts) until Dec 20th.
( more direct shot of the plate only in stream )
I feel like I don’t know how to live
Libra always throws me into depression/confusion
is it just Autumn?
.iP
“i think it’s dry”
he said
rubbing his eye
flaky with sleep
“you’ve got to cry more”
i said
“to wash your eyes
from all that you see in the world”
he laughed.
”
the saddest part
of a broken heart
isn’t the ending
so much as the start
”
– Feist
often
people’s aspirations aren’t evenly matched with their apptitudes
that doesn’t keep them from achieving
.iP




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