Arms

a month ago
Gene came to visit
I was surprised
two of the three nights I slept with him
undisturbed
held tight in his arms…

… how long had it been?

a few nights later
stoned high
I was with Ray
after playing
talking
a beautiful connection
nothing dramatic
…well, a little overwhelmed by good fortune
but not to the point of fantasy

he fell asleep
I lay next to him
wrapt in arms
loving it
feeling his body
his breathing
feeling, thinking through him
wow, how nice
but too exciting
for minutes or hours
I could not sleep
I had to move to the other bed…

then a few nights later
I slept with Koos
we had
many things
talked and dreamed
worked stuff out
entertained
simply happy and comfortable

when I was ready to sleep though
I rolled away from him onto my back

when I saw him at the work room later in the day
he told me he didn’t sleep at all
that I had rolled back into him
and gripped him tight in my arms
squeezing him

he
…liked it
but dared not wake me
and could not sleep
lay the rest of the night holding still
appreciating his predicament
said he was surprised he was able to pry himself loose without waking me

I slept well…

but we didn’t sleep well together again after than
nor have I again with any others…

we’re those arms of sleeping comfort a gift from that mercury retrograde?

I thought about it then
and now
and again
as I used to often

appreciate
you who can sleep in cuddling

I remember
in my youth
the few I could sleep with…
wrapt in arms
carrying me with them into the blackest ocean….