33.13

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Oh!
Fuck!
what a day!
Stories!
Passing out, fainting… triggered by the Vegas nerve? Ugh!
I didn’t remember the "dreams"
but woke to two nurses looking at me with concern

thread
cord
red
holding life here
together

one foot in
one foot out
shake shake shake

(over wrought, horrible! pretentious, too much! aaaaah!)

when I pass out
I go to another life
in another world?
on another plane?
another Dimension?
something more
other

somewhere I lost
but remember how real it felt

when I woke up here
looking at those two women
I instantly forgot where I had been

was embarrassed
after realizing I wasn’t sure where I was, what was happening, who I was

on Reality TV
know the schedule, the channel
and what role you’re playing

fuck

I rested on the highline
kicked off my espadrilles
opened my shirt
let the sun flow in
-my belly got hot
my marrow radiated…

on I went
worked
gave advice
tried to be a good brother
napped on the couch while he cut hair
went to see a Show
no
so to another
The Tree of Life
which tried so hard and made me impatient
whatever

what I loved
though
was remembering how Dinosaur bodies were the perfect body to play on this earth
back then…

all the green we could eat!
sun, water…
that was good…

what a horribly pretentious nostalgic farce!
but I remember talking with someone
about Nostalgia
crying for the past
last generation
last generation
a period
before before before

who said Dinosaurs?

"but who dies for the dinosaurs?"

"right?"

"oh, children do. boys at least. every boy cries for the dinosaurs… they…"

they remember when they first came to this planet

"that’s where god lives"

up in the sky?

but now he lives INSIDE of everything
I thought
iPhones
all these devices
in there
in electricity

the trillion fragments of God
God’s Homes
my hands…

argh!

worked up to a froth
low on blood

this moon
of course…
so heavy
the eclipse…

make a wish, darling
I’m in a state, muñeca

pulled back to some other life I imagine more real
other
the suit of presence
God’s (fucking) magic wand

I’m
in
a state

(number thirteen)