unlimited

I’ve always fought against my natural perception of finiteness

as a child I felt so singular and isolated

as I got older and started having sex
I got veryparanoid about people sucking out my life force
cumming too much
wasting my vital essence

of course
studying yoga and Chinese medicine supports that paranoia
and I sometime collapse into the fears of how to preserve my Jing or something…

but occcasionally I meet men
like that guy yesterday
who is 75
and cums many times a day
fucks and gets fucked
and is much healthier, vibrant and happier than most people I know much younger…

I… I wanna be like that.

but we all live our own life

like Spawn
counting down the power we have before we return to the grave

some have more
some are better at preservation and cultivation

but some are unlimited
and ride the waves of joys and pains through lifevwith a smile on their face
( and a hardon brandished high )

is it faith or genetics?
will I always be dispossed to feeling depleted?