i need to get out more
not really Out Of My House
but out of my head
out of my life
I’m often evious of people who are up to date on so many happenings, fashions, world events
I’m too busy mucking through my thoughts and feelings
in choosing to be more stationary
it’s more oppressive how self-centered I am
where
when I was travelling all the time I was forced to constantly deal with other people, places
and the wind kept me busy…
now I am my own wind
and I need some fresh air
huuuuuuuuuu!
—–
F to 23
got off
saw a big man
dressed all in black
big fuzzy van dyke
thick black glasses
little gold ring in left ear
cute big belly
loaping forward through the gate…
I followed him
thumbed through my wallet, got a card to hand to him
he looked up at me
eye contact
I got the feeling he was
he might
yes, definately
he walked behind me at the top of the stairs
I turned around to face him
and he only had one eye
the other an open hole… or a broken eye, smushed in
I smiled and said hello
as did he
we stumbled fir a minute
and he walked on
I went into the sandwich shop
card still in my hand
damn
I really liked averything about the look of him
cute chubby bear
mid 50’s, I imagine
probably a sci-fi nerd or something brainy
but the eye through me off
rare I feel regret
but in not making possible connections
that’s why I like having cards I can easily hand to someone
even though it rarely results in re-meeting
I feel like I’ve made my part
and hope they’ll at least look on line
and we might be slightly connected
even if not as friends or lovers or tricks
just people who know the other exists…
even though it might be one-way…
little regrets.
sorry eye-man. I missed you.
—–/
“my heart melted at your Touch
turned in to Slush.”
-Jarvis
——
my neighborhood has lots of Russians
I remembered when I first moved up
how I’d never notice them in the summer
the streets flooded with Dominicans
but when the snow fell
they were all out on the street
sitting on the benches
just enjoying themselves in the fridged weather
yesterday I get a txt message from the Russian mafia bear from Brighton beach
sure
he’s been txting me a lot
but nothing actually happening
but where as most people wanted to stay in from the snow yesterday
it pushed him out
and he rushed up to my house for very hot, though fast, sex
I’d replied to his txt
“does the snow make you horny baby?”
he replied
“Yes baby I want u badly”
and was on the way
—-