it occurs to me
that i’m a good listener
and for most
that’s what i can do.
my advice really isn’t all that precious
but that i can listen
can let them talk…
Me?
i can journal…
i don’t have someone to listen to me right now
i can call and call
and he won’t pick up the phone
and he won’t have time
be available
return the emails or messages
that’s not what i get
not even a good cuddle-mate
no
i get to journal
she’s always been my best listener
my stead-fast lover…
though all my old journals are lost now…
What would i do?
i guess i’ve been thinking about the future with that Grey Haze of things…
the city holds many men who are emotionally not compatible with me…
(i don’t really know any that are anywhere…)
what would i do if i got my house in england?
a view of the sea?
the green rolling hills
the grey sky
the emptiness?
would that be a good place to weather my growth?
learn about potatoes and squash
greens and carrots
goats?
find some straight hippie kids to live with me…
maybe a few queers?
still go to the bars or internet for dick
or just.. maybe go without for a while?
could i stay still there?
would i feel OK having that relationship with yakov?
would i learn to come to peace with everything?