the love of friends!!

hey all
i’ve not posted for a while…
i know
i’ve written a bit
but not for mass consumption
i’ll catch up on a few details:
i’m staying with a friend who feels not like a trick or a hot fuck
but a Friend
not like a daddy
a Friend
i feel like a kid with him
silly
like watching tv
and Laughing!!
playing video games
and nuzzling a lot
Thankful for love and friendship
i’ve been running around NYC
the massages have been pretty good
from me getting paid more here
to just enjoying SO much working on people
loving the textures of their skin and auras
(i wrote a piece about it, but don’t have my computer on line, so it’s waiting there)
to just laying with people and hearing them thank me for bringing what ever it is i bring into their realities
i love inspiring people to fuller living!
but i also love meeting others that do the same for me
i finally met the singer(s) of a band that i love
(being specifically conscious of not being a star-fucker right now, i’ll not drop names)
and got to give the main writer some money
coz i’ve mostly just downloaded his music
(i travel: i don’t want to cary cds around…)
and the conversation with the pretty voice
inspired me yet again in a way i need to be inspired now:
To create more fully what i need!
i’m moving into a phase of creating more
and that also means reigning in my sexual energies
using them more skillfully
and more disciplined
less wastefully
but that’s also the reason i’ve not been writing
last week
i just needed to retreat and rest
and spent far too many hours
just beating my meat to the hot NYC men on line
coz i DIDn’t want to go out and have sex
because of the friend i was staying with
not that he was the hot-fuck-studd that kept me drained or anything
but quite the contrary:
i loved the energy we had
and didn’t want to confuse that
so at the end of the week
i got out and played a bit
and felt a little spun and drained
ahhh, so goes
now i’m feeling better
still not having lots of sex
but missing him as i miss my friends
my lovers
true lovers!
i am thanking love
and the moon… when i get to see her again
til then i’m just reading “Dhalgren”and it’s making me so confused:
a book where the main character doesn’t know who he is or what’s going on in a big way
i come out of the pages feeling much the same
looking at this city
feeling the apocolyptic streaks running through it
like tremors from an impending earth quake
and stagger about a bit til i get my barrings
and stagger i must!
the whole place is dancing and shifting
forever happy to see my friends
yes
still in love
(thank blessings!)
and tired:
it’s 2 again and i’m not yet asleep
so i’ll move there
but i just wanted to say hello
pass on my love
and let you know i’m in town
— call me!