today
one of the dominican girls i work with
Angelina
said
as i ran by her
“i love seeing you with bare feet!”
so do i
running around in the sand
it’s not a bad gig
being barefoot
in the sand
seeing the sunset every day
lower manhattan looking like a toy
like a jewelry box
but it’s all the time spent Having to Be there
that gets to me
Having to be On Time
During Time
when i could go to a movie
or an art opening
or could be writing
which i haven’t done since i started the job.
there really is a lot i need to write
not just my experiences
— skinny dipping last night with Jorge
— not getting the apartment, worried about my father as A Failure
— the job i’m working
— indian food dining as a sinyasi
— delivering Art
— keep in contact with old friends
— enjoy a drink now and then
— old priests
— new amusements
and not just my current experiences either
all the past i’ve been meaning to re-write
but all the ideas i’d like to share
i have a lot to write
and thousands and thousands of photographs i want to sort through
post
and edit
and print
and hang around my room
then write about some more
and get them in a gallery
but i don’t have a room yet
and i’m currently massaging out my place in reality
where am i?
and where can i be?
i’m just moved to write a bit now
the fat jewish guy selling icecream down at the beach
who refuses to let me do anything sexual with him
(though he let me touch him today — i gave him a bit of a massage and was tumescent the whole time)
– he gave me the dvd for “Altered States”
which i’ve been told to watch for years
and
indeed it was a great reminder
like i should be delving into psychedelics again
but i’d like to learn to meditate better First
but really
the beauty of the film is more about
Love
ah
that old desire
where did i put it?
must have put it somewhere precious so i wouldn’t lose it
but for the life of me
i cannot remember where…
delving into the chaos void of eternity
it is love that recreated him
and
it was him having to do the same for her
that brought the film to a very satisfying end
Yes
Love
when will i get the one who is willing to reach out to me through the chaos
and grab my face back into existence
through love?
i have tried so many times
lost in the fog.
7 thoughts on “states that i am in”
beardedfeniks
Question
Just a question: What job do you have that involves running barefooted in the sand? [We met some time ago on SD; under different names.]
dominicvine in reply to beardedfeniks
Re: Question
Ah. hello!
i’m managing the beach for the Floating Pool in Brooklyn Heights
take the 2,3,4,5,R,J to Borough Hall (or the A,C,F to Jay Street) and walk down Joralemon til you pass under the BQE
it’s between Pier 4 and 5
i’ve not worked a job in 8 years
i’m just doing this for a bear friend of mine
it’s been an interesting experience
i do love the sun sets.
ednixon
We all love you out west, by we I’m thinking of Paul & I.
Your fave barefoot moment that sticks in my mind was the Nude Hike in Tanque Verde in 2005 where you were totally barefoot and nude, and went flying by all of us old bears, even though we had boots on.
If you tire of the Flickr account, I can put an account for you up
on ednixon.com. Just ask. Or, for $20. a year you can try this page
I am testing out: http://ednixon.smugmug.com Use discount code
“Yahoo”. My server is free, though, and has no nudity restrictions, since
I own and operate it. Only downside is that Grizzy hasn’t written a
slideshow script yet, although he has experimented with
getting one working. I find that it’s much quicker dumping tons
of photos on http://ednixon.com with Secure FTP than it is with
any commercial photo viewing page. A script on the server automatically
creates the thumbnail page on the server for you, no work needs
to be done on your raw photos at your end, you just type ‘thumb’ in
your photo dir while logged in.
Of course, no content restrictions mean you
can post pages like
this should you want too. I’m open to host anything you like there,
lemme know.
broduke2000 in reply to ednixon
My experience (at least with yahoo and tribe groups) is that it’s OK to show nudity. OK to show bare butts, OK to show bareback sex.
But you can’t show pee.
This stems from our wonderful Attorney General, who busted a few sites last year, and is trying to put the owners in prison.
Once again: It’s perfectly OK to show people being peed on (as torture) at one of our fine prisons. It’s not OK to show a similar scene, with someone enjoying it.
angeltatts
I am sure your bare feet are sexy and everyone would be happy to see them.
I know that really has little to do with your post but I felt like putting it out there.
Anonymous
When?
you did not see the hand reach out for you for you were staring into the eyes of existence. you missed the heart that beat for you for you were listening for the fanfare while sparks danced over the sea. we were there for you but you looked into the singularity that is that yet to come.
dominicvine in reply to Anonymous
you care, i know, i forgot for a while
oh
yes you were
an you always have
and you always will be
my lovers
my love
where’s my lover?
the one it is impossible to ignore
or run away from
because we make eachother?