somekinda

there’s some part of me
like a mechanism
that i can disengage…
like that
i float around people
‘ oh, that’s nice
yeah, interesting
uh-hmmm ‘
and it’s very nice and stuff
and stuff
but when i click it in
the gears don’t grind
the teeth slide in and start spinning right away
i know Candide
and the passions of all men
or i see stupidity clearly
and raze the shit away with reason
i suggest alternatives
with my machete
i clear the path
(so many plants are made of emotion…)
it’s not a delicate way of loving
though i find it so much more Thrilling.
however
it usually results in
“i don’t want to talk about this right now”
when i bring up
with my sister
in her car
‘ why didn’t you become a Vet again? ‘
” .. mainly because of my grades… ”
‘ .. How many times have you mentioned that your Grades have kept you from doing the things you really want to do…
have you ever considered you could stop smoking pot and drinking all the time and it’d give your mind more focus so you could get better grades and acheive what you want? ‘
” i don’t want to talk about this right now ”
O
K
so
that’s how i love.
how else?
just by presence
i don’t say or do anything
i just float around
and
it’s nice.
Yeah.
Meanwhile
i just gave my mother a three hour massage…
she bobbled around afterwards
hardly able to walk..
she’s sleeping soundly now
and..
maybe i will be soon as well.