remembering that kind of love

Yesterdays Headlines
blown by the wind..
Yesterdays People
end up
Scatterbrained
— everything in the mail
i’m trying to have sent
is going to the wrong place
i called
i tried
i spent the time
it went to california
it went to Tennessee
out of my hands
no control
Carrington
artist
beautiful girl-boy
reminder
see some kid in Ottawa
remember Eric
what a reminder
so i look through some pictures
and my heart spills everywhere
everywhere
i look through the pictures
and the eyes
the cheeks
the nose
the lips
the chest
the shoulders
the neck
the hair
the face
the way he looks at his boy
love
love love love
a boy a bit more ripe than i
the right time
a moment too late for me
that was a heartbreaker i had to forget
another thing crushing me
crushing me
even now
my face hurts
around my eyes
my chest
my heart
i want to run away
i want to scream at the sky
i want to fight with Odin
and damn Loki
but it does me no good
so i bless them for their love
i’m grateful for their love
loved and loving
good for them
but there are some heartbroken things about me
i need to forget
to keep from tearing the world down
luckily
i can’t do either.