love story to a friend

i wanna hold it
i wanna polish it
… like a prize bowling ball
like a crystal scrying orb

it’s not that i want to see into the future
i want to believe in it though
that’s the passion we’re lacking
belief in the future
simply because our imagination can’t seem to find it
can’t go there

dead is easier
we’re lazy
we’re a country of lazy
from a people of lazy

it would be nice, you know, to live in the garden of eden again
to just have God do it all for us
as if he were separate
you know
like a daddy who went to work every day
so we could just play in the yard
never having to grow up
to cut the grass
rake the leaves
shovel the snow

but we’re the daddies now, baby
we can’t always be kids
and just because we don’t want to bring home the bacon
we shouldn’t resign the whole family to starving in the cold

we gotta do the work, whatever it is
and
what’s more
we gotta do it all the time

all of our childhood was for playing
but for you and me
and most of us
that time is over

there are still lots of kids who have lots more playing to do
and we must play along
good big brothers
good uncles
good daddies do that
and no matter how seductive the game is
we mustn’t forget that we’re playing along for the kids’ sakes
not for ours

we’ve got work to do
and what is that?

well…. we gotta make it
we gotta dream it up

i know you love your belly
to pat and rub
and keep you company
so you’re never lonely

like the knocked-up girls i knew in the past
drug-addled and lost in their lives
but found themselves clearing the fog
heavy, suddenly pregnant with purpose in life

you don’t really want that gigantic belly to just be gestating death in you, do you?
isn’t that just a lack of imagination?
if you were in a state of full enlightenment
and felt your belly
and knew you had a Choice
wouldn’t you say:
“and some day there will be a great child to come out of my fat belly
an inspiring love story
a beautiful sonata
a garden with eight varieties of blue berries
a whole new arrangement of the furniture in the house…”
if you knew you had a choice you wouldn’t just say
“oh, i’d like to be helpless and dead”

helpless and dead is really easy, though
i mean… it is the ultimate surrender
but then
surrender to the universe, again, to God
who is god?
You, Daddy!
who is God?
your greatest lover
what would your lover do for you?
Everything?
would your lover love you
and let you be helpless and dead?
is that what love means?
is that what love means to us?

i’m the same way
“Why Bother…!”
it’s so much easier for me to discount the meaning of everything
but really it’s from lack of imagination
so difficult and confusing to get a nobel peace prize
a tony
an emmy
so much easier to just believe in the end of the world
to wipe out any sense of obligation
The Great Nothing sweeps through the land
Atreyu is nowhere in sight!

but all it takes is an idea to follow in the dark
even a Wisp’O’Will will shed enough light
and the more the imagination fills that Wisp
it becomes a Torch, it becomes a Star, it becomes a Sun
to generate life on a whole planet!

that’s all we need
just an idea to believe in

and that’s what turns you on, BabyDaddy
see how turned on you got with my hand on your belly
when i told you to imagine i was drinking it through your straw?
a cow’s udder…
NEY!
a BULL’s udder!
rubbing that pregnant belly
filled with the Milk of Life!

To Life! To Life!

when i finish any massage
i do some hocus-pocus
and end it with a stream of milk pouring down into them
filling them and nourishing them entire
floating out all the dead flies and gunked up shit
… should a person happen to have any in them
nourish and clean

what if your orgasm was that?
what if your sex was that?

what if your belly was an altar to worship at
on cam or in bed, even
and the prayer
with the rubbing
was the pregnancy of nourishing potential
your fecund breasts
heavy balls
all supplements
to feed the boys to encourage you to feed yourself

not to feed yourself empty death!
NO!
to feed yourself LIFE
and to GIVE LIFE in your sex

why not?
what else are you doing?
what else are we doing?
why are we doing this?

For Life!
For Life!

Eat!
Drink!
and Be Merry!

the mere suggestion of it made your milk pour out into me
all you need is a reason
yes
why not?

but, more importantly to know
to believe in
is WHY

know it
do it

and let it grow