kidd baby

i forgot to say!
i went to see the Kings of Convenience wednesday night
they were Great!
Rotton Robbie was there too
and he took polaroids of me and other friends
to send to a friend, Dax
who got his C5 smashed in a car crash
so anyone who knows him and doesn’t know this
or anyone who doesn’t necessarily know him
but knows who to project healing energy
spend a moment with his spine
and sooth it
— we want him to walk and make music and love again
thanks.

anyway
the show
right
small
swedish american hall
Leslie Feist opened for them
she was fab-o
her cd doesn’t come out here until july
it’s called “Let it Die”
her band name is just “Feist”
yummy stuff
i imagined she was the girl who made music from Dhalgren…
then the KoC came on
Erland was a little ill
but hey invited all who wanted to (too many people got in, not enough chairs)
to come sit down in front
so i moved from my not so good seat to sit down near them
they played sweet soft music
they played
laughed
encouraged us all to sing
danced around
were very silly
it was an evening with the kidds
i felt like we all knew eachother
and we were all trying to do the same thing
playful and loving and silly
it was great
i left there skipping along the street
what happened yesterday?
i did yoga with my friend Sara
haven’t paid for a class in so long
it was OK
kinda disjointed
but still
nice to be directed
knee slightly moved
foot watched
my body is sore and alive and happy this morning
after yoga
sara and i ate at the indian buffet
then walked up to Alamo Square
climbed a tree
and hung out up there for an hour so
then
lay in the grass
recited sufi poetry to eachother!
i said
‘ when lover’s moan, they are telling our story ‘
[rumi]
she had things written down
“the religeons are ships
the poets are life boats
every sane person i know has jumped overboard
this is a very good business, isn’t it Hafiz?”
[hafiz]
i took some pictures of her
and explained to her what it was like to have sex
as a gay man
in a park
she was amazed
and explained to me
what it’s like for most women
to have sex
and how they feel that men have the power
and don’t take it upon them selves to get themselves off
gave me a new perspective to see through
and then i had sex with and old friend last night
who
when i first met him
i felt like he owned me
he didn’t act like it
but he’s SO hot
big and burly
but acts sweet and kiddish
like a teddy bear
but the sex with him is bascially always me just pleasing him
(a few times a year)
and i LOVE it, coz he’s so hot to me
but he never does anything for me
so
in this situation
i am the woman?
in the bad way, yeah
“poor is the man who’s pleasure depends on another”
he doesn’t get me off
and last night i was not active about doing so
feeling: i’ll just save my orgasm for someone who wants it enough to get it from me
or
i’ll just save my orgasm for someone super hot like this who’s never had it before and excites me to releasing myself
or
i’ll just save my orgasm for someone who dances with me into orgasm
so we can both enjoy it together
ask your self
“what do i want?”
Yeah!
but it’s good to see old friends
when he first met me
i was clean shaven everywhere
just after my 23rd birthday
now i’m a big boy
he said he’ll miss me
and i’ll miss him too
but life
must
move
on.