while sitting on the upstairs couch in my brother’s house
i had a full body recall of being on a street corner in New York City
not sure which one
down by Varick
or somewhere in far Hell’s Kitchen
nothing important
a hotel
or some closed office building
as if right now
but there
cold and dark
glass, concrete and stone
and when i felt it
in an instant
i just wished i were there
all that freedom
to be able to walk anywhere
eat anything
do anything
go anywhere
or nothing
just back to Tony’s
watch TV with him
go see a movie with him
nothing
just that
just that
the suburbs don’t have as much freedom as the parents’ house
to be able to be naked out in the back yard
neither have as much freedom as to what i become accustomed to
all these closed rooms
times inside
it’s great
playing video games with the kids
it’s great
reading with my niece
and encouraging her to use the english language better
to feel the horror of the revolutionary war time
(she chose the book, written for kids, but such horror portrayed)
i like being useful
being of service
it’s my world
as much as any other world
but for a moment
i missed the freedom of the life i’ve lived so long
a life i will visit again
for a moment i was there
and i was here
and i wanted to be there
