it’s hard to me to focus and write!
last night i finished work
covered with mud
showered
and went to see what the boys were doing for dinner…
they were out
left a note saying they’d gone
so what was i supposed to do?
— i have my resources.
last weekend
i posted on craigslist
to see what bear/daddy men i could find on the island here
and got a well-rounded response
(grin)
so i sat with my computer
culled the numbers out
and thought who i might call…
i decided to call the person who had been the most straight forward, non complicated, and offering what i asked for
we spoke for about 15 minutes
when he asked if i wanted to come over and eat
so i grabbed my stuff
and met him at the end of the driveway
he drove me down to his house in Kopoho
warmed me wheat-free lasagna
a glass of red wine
and excellent conversation
— he told me that since he saw the ad
he’s read all of my recent journal postings
as well as the oldest up to may of 2004
so we had a good basis for communication
and he’s knowledgeable in astrology
lots of life stories of his own..
then he took me out back
the place he lives has many natural pools
they’re tidal
but about 200 (or more) yards from the sea
they rise and fall with the tide
but are brackish
filled with fresh water as well
… and are warmed by the lava flowing underneath them.
about 91º
we spent hours in there
floating around
talking
massaging
looking up at the moon
the moon
the moon.
and then it hit me:
yesterday was the longest day i’ve worked since i’ve been here!
i worked 7 hours
wrestled with a palm tree
i was exhausted
so we went to sleep…
i woke this morning (too early)
flat on my back– i didn’t move the whole night
so i was really out
he cuddled me
then i turned him round
and cuddled him
the phone rang
he got up
and i went to write about the dream i had to my latest Leo
dreaming about my Leos
my lovers
and working
weeding
and ray guns
and water guns
and family play parks
a few days ago i had seen a picture i had taken of his face
(i haven’t posted about this yet, though i wrote some of it out, i haven’t finished it)
the guy i bedded with at Brietenbush
this lovely Leo
i came across his picture while looking for pictures for an art piece thing…
and it just struck me
melted my hearts..
will the fire of Leos melt my heart again?
(more on that later)
i wrote him
then edited the photos of him
jacked off a thick load of cum on my belly
(i couldn’t help it)
i heard my friend splashing around in that pool out back
so closed the computer
and went to play with him in the water
another hour or two
so healing
and smelling wild irises…
they have a Term here
“talking story”
it’s just hanging out
it’s chattering about the events of this life
it’s just a story
but it’s what humans do together
we talk story
we were talking story
we showered
ate papaya with lemon juice
then he made an omelet
big
four eggs, thick cheese, lots of veggies
being Fed
some times it’s what i need
but then i was tired and hot
he showered again
then lay with me
talking about stars and writing and lovers
cuddling
playing
then we rushed out
he wanted to show me the stem vents
i didn’t have my camera
but i assure i have will more to say about it and to show later
but this was just the introduction
at noon
it’s too hot
there were only two other cars there
two straight couples
but
apparently
it’s very gay-cruisy
(in fact, it looked like one of the couples was beginning sex… the guy was a thick long haired hawaiian.. ughhhhhh)
what it is
is
private land (owned by a gay guy)
all clothing optional
free
wild
small paths
around old volcano cones
bubbles?
strange little lava-rock caves
that emit steam
so they’re natural steam baths
and people go in there in suits
or naked
and just soak it up
sometimes it’s filled with tourists
sometimes faggots
now was not the time
he drove me back to his other house
( he has three, one he’ll rent out when he gets it fixed up… he has another few in southern california… where his partner of 15 years lives … in one or two of them…)
where he got me on line
and i answered some messages
terribly distracted for a few hours
talking on the phone and stuff
then got around to writing.
so i’ll leave here when i’m done with the text
go back to the farm for some volley ball
maybe there’s a party tonight too
i’m not sure
but i know i’ll enjoy a nap when i get one!