filling in the gaps of now

Well, Naturlijk there was a bit of a crash…
how’d it go?
Monday: arrived
little sleep
nap during the day
by the grace
i saw radiohead again that night!
tuesday i waited for the rain to calm down
then went and got my phone top’d up
went to see Juan
went to the cuckoo’s nest
saw some guy walking outside that i recognized
and had thought about on our last visit here…
though he and i were never friends
i still think about him from time to time
so i hunted him down and asked him to come have a drink with me:
he offered me his place here in amsterdam for the winter while he’s away in India.
Hmmmmm.
after he made me cum from licking my ass
i walked around to let the sweat cool before i put  my shirts back on
and saw the hottest dutch guy i’d ever seen
“Frey”
tall, very broad chest, big belly
big nipples
looked like a farmer
so fucking hot
working my nipples like mad
but i had to run!
so we made a date for saturday
— to meet at the Nest.. then maybe go back to his house to spend some hours in bed
— i WISH!
we’ll see
then i rode back up to Sebastian’s
and danced Sema
Sufi Whirling Dervish dance
great
talked all night
and when i woke up
Wednesday
my throat was totally fucked.
everyone i stayed with in the UK had a bit of a cold.
and all the rain
and being on the plane:
well
it got to me
i did another photo shoot with sebastian
but when the rain died down
i tried to go out:
his extra bike was all messed up
but i got in touch with Marcel
and he said he was free and i could use his spare bike
so i jumped on the tram to go over there
(giving away the last of the stuff that Yakov had given me to some kids at a squat down the street: i just feel better having nothing of him in my possession)
but after talking with Marcel
then going to see Juan
and talking with him
i had to ride quickly back up to where i was meeting Luigi’s friend
lock the bike
walk back to the Leidseplein (walking right by the Thermos… this is an excellent location)
caught the tram up
packed my stuff
spent some more time with sebastian
then took the tram back down with all my luggage
met Luigi’s friend
(Luigi said i could stay with him, but it sounded complicated… he had told me about this friend of his who’d also just moved here from america who actually had room for hosting guests and was happy to let me stay)
so i met him
and he is very nice
one of those boys my age
who lives in a completely different world than me
and is a bit suspicious of my ways
but interested…
we talked
as my voice rapidly deteriorated
and i had to rush off to meet one of the publishers of BUTT magazine
which was great 
he took me to a little bar/cafe just down the street
and we sat and drank old geniver and talked
but having to talk over the din of the bar
totally killed my throat
however
he was very present and Interested in many things
with a very open personality that was much more curious than judgmental
the type of conversation that i learn things from
so i really liked talking with him
but
when i left him 
i went to go see another friend
(as chance would have it, who lived right next door to the cafe we were sitting in)
and after being there about an hour i had to stop speaking because it was so painful.
so yesterday i only whispered
i haven’t tried out my voice today
i’m still a bit frightened
runny nose
still a bit of a sinus infection
not much a fever or anything
i don’t feel run down and totally knocked over like i did the first week we were here
but this really pisses me off
because i’m not at 100% and there are so many things i want to do
people i want to see
stuff i want to EAT!
and i can’t
coz i have to rest
and grrrrrr
yesterday i went to the sauna
rationing that sweating and “giving myself a fever” would help beat this
but of course i was too distracted by all the beautiful men
the steam room turned into an orgy..
more than once
and i got to rub a very sexy Norwegian guy
maybe i’m using my massage powers for evil… i hope not
i met this guy four years ago with his irish partner
both very hot to me (sayd as “big and furry”)
and i knew he wasn’t attracted to me
but his abject loneliness was palpable (as it can be in the sauna)
so i tried my luck and asked if i could massage him
he let me
and he moaned in pleasure
until i started getting sexual
then he had to run
but it was fun to touch him
and this other guy
dutch… black dutch… french italian?
big
very tall
very beefy
wide
thick cock
i massaged him for a while too 
sucked his dick for a bit
but he really wanted a twink
still
i got him eventually…
(grin)
and i swam a lot
and i played with other randoms in the steam room
soaked in the jacuzi a bit
followed a daddy bear up stairs
but his cub was very protective
though he left the door open and wanted people to watch
no touching!
while watching
a frenchman stole me away and took me to another land
which was much better, i assure you
all very good
the icing on the cake was a furry south african daddy who i played with a bit
but was exhausted by that point
i lay in the sauna and sweated for nearly 40 minutes…
i’m taking it easy
though i’m supposed to have another photo shoot with a guy from Germany this weekend
supposed to go to an art gallery/shop opening this evening
my voice is only slightly working
i’ve got a bit of a cough
and my nose is still flowing with copious yellow stuff..
i’ll be alright
but damnit
why now?
i land in NYC around noon on wednesday the 6th.
i’ll have to futz around a bit to get my phone working again
and then?
meanwhile
endless living going on