expectant

i wanted to make sure i wrote that last post before i went to the hotel
because i thought i’d probably be so swept up by all the beautiful friendliness that it’d change my mood entirely
and in the effort to truely journaling my experience…
well
no..
i had been told that there were many people who wanted to share rooms
so i went to the Hotel
and saw old friends
and a big smile spread across my face
but there was no list of people who wanted to share rooms, so the guy who’d actually know said…
so i wrote on the board my request…
went out into the pool area
and immediately felt kinda pariah
but it was just Me, of course
lots of people wanted to talk with me
that was nice
but my-oh-my
judgement has been running high
friends
and conversations
and new beautiful men
and cuddling
yes
resting in cuddling
well, more than that
door opening and closing
am i gonna get a room?
off to dinner
talking to friends
meeting new friends
back to the hotel
and my message has been erased
and i’m really tired
and a friend of mine who lives here offers to take me home
which is how i’m feeling anyway
so home
here
now
time for sleeping soon
but first:
Cuddling.