Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 21:26:10 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Dear Saint Nicholas
To: “Leo Joseph”
oh, it feels like it’s been so long since i talked with you last
so many things have happened to us since then!
i left London and went to wales with an angel named Chad
jumped in a cold spring
then stared up into the starry night
then sweated for an hour in a hand built sauna
with an old wood burning stove
in a house owned by two kids named
“labrynth of love”
and
“lucifer”
who only eat raw food.
hm.
plans changed instantly
and i ended up in glastonbury the next day
so crazy
that night was a party in Bath
much like the gay men i enjoy spending time with
but they were all straight women!
i was, slightly, terrified
but never let it show
apart from being hit one right and left and centre
Ugh
some woman feeding me wild mushrooms
and another relentlessly harping in me about shaving my beard!
i left
and went for a nice long walk
the top of the hill
looked out over the city
my oh my
so gorgeous
i will have to say gorgeous a thousand times.
one man in there
clean shaven
but looked upon me with a longing i’ve only ever associated with love
his wife was nice
but he said
“no. no. don’t cut your hair or your beard. no. don’t listen to them. .
.. ”
that was nice.
and i slept the next few days
she was a pot head, the woman i stayed with
and a friend of hers had just jumped off a bridge into traffice in
yorkshire…
and and old childhood friend blew his brains out in indiana
and eli’s dad’s brain is dissolving
what?
getting closer and closer.
i won’t go into my fears.
but when i finally did wake up to some sort of clarity in glastonbury
i went out for a long walk along the hills
lost and in love with the sky
the trees
the green green
the brambles!
i tore my pants up!
and the skin underneath
but with joy!
with joy!
then to the glastonbury Tor
apparently this was all a group of islands
and the winds up there are 2000 miles per hour
if they feel like it
a strange town
left the next day for here
Wales.
nice guy i am staying with
but
just
no
connexion.
he’d never been fucked, though
poor lad.
so i did some teaching
and learned so much about this sort of thing
that i might be able to fuck you some day without causing any pain
but, oh, not fuck
make love
just thinking about it reminds me about how i want you inside me
am i being crass of vulgar?
let me get to the important part:
i forget all my dreams so quickly
but they have been very powerful this week:
i went for a walk along the coastal cliff walks
all the way from Solva to St. Non’s
barefoot
grass and dirt
amazing
oh
my oh my
three hours
five miles or six or some such number
blessed
i can’t leave that out
because it was precious
but then we went to a party
all welse people this time
and then some indians
and i loved them
straight people!
i forgot about all these straight people!
what do you do with them all the time?
i keep feel like i’m forgetting the most important part…
i ate too much
too much meat
YUM
it was made so well
tasted so good
i ate too much pudding
three different pies
YUM
and then
in the middle and either ends of all that
i drank too much wine
but it was the glass of water that threw me over the edge
i went to lay down on the floor
and was woken by bobbie
telling me to get in bed.
so i went to…
Sleep?
no,
i was with you
and we were like inseperable babies in a play pin
we were naked
and in and out of eachother in all sorts of ways
laughing and playing
all of these crazy shapes!
it felt such home!
i don’t remember now
it felt such home!
my heart’s burst!
i woke up with a horrible pain in my chest
horrible
hard to breathe
had to cough and cough
but mostly was aware of how i didn’t want to be awake
didn’t want to have anything to do with
west wales
or the UK
or ANYWHERE
i only wanted to fall back into my dream so i could be with you again
in that strange forever inseperable conjugal bliss
i was overwhelmed
but don’t feel it now.
still, i can look back on it
and imagine it as hangover
but remember it as a form of worship
i’ve been talking with god a lot lately
the day before …
two days before?
time drips by…
walking up the cliff side at solva.
a different one
i come over the crest and fell in love
with everything
and other lovers were there with me
others
coz all beauty and love must be shared
so it was god
and god was the sun and came out through the clouds
and hugged me
and it was all my lovers
and we laughed!
it was beautiful
and that dream with you was like that
like something i don’t feel much anymore
but something i felt with Robert in arkansas:
sex:
love:
a form of worship
being with god
being god
loving the whole world
healing the whole world
through getting lost in beautiful maniacle fucking.
(laughs)
such a strange dream
that i didn’t remember it at all
but i knew i needed to write to you
and then that came back
i have been writing for hours now!
not just to you
but eli
and other people
randomn people i don’t know
and then
people like you
like you?
my friend Leo.
diving in and out
so strange to feel you
different faces and different hearts
Leo: an archetype of love for this boy dominic
and you pass on to me your gifts of loving
i will gladdly carry them on
but right now i am tired
it’s five in the morning
and you are santa clause somewhere
or having tea with eli
the elfin grin i see on your face
the glint in your eyes
nearly brings tears to mine
i love being this raw and crazy in love
but why now?
the world needs it
thanks for doing your part
well, the part we do together
Ha!
love and blessings, m’boy
i’ll see you soon.
…domenicus
— Leo Joseph wrote:
> dear one,
>
> it was such a wonderful gift to talk with you last
> week!
>
> it is the closest we have had to a real visit since i
> left amsterdam.
>
> eli did call me last week and we talked for a while-
> doen’t look good for his father.
>
> he asked if we could meet up when i get over to s.r.
> which i will do today as i have an appointment for an
> eye exam there this afternoon.
>
> then to s.f. for a few days and back here, then to
> ukiah for the weekend. i become st. nicholas there on
> sat. for the holiday fair at the church. mass the next
> morning then home again.
>
> thanksgiving was very pleasant…
> michael and rose were up here and we all went to fred
> and sally’s for dinner… just like last year except
> you were here and i was not.
>
> how are you doin’?
>
> would love to hear from you.
>
> i will be home fri. night and sun. night.
>
> am thinking of my travels and seeing you again.
>
> by late january it will be time for our planets to
> cross paths again…
>
>
> love you and wish you were here… or i was there!
>
> leo
>
> ___________________________________