chasing down the sunset

sitting in the chair at the one door-window i’ve polished clean
reading the book
in the back of my mind
shaving bone off my finger with the knife
glancing up to see the sky:
Blue
fading blue.
reading
reading
noticing the light darker
glancing up
the sky:
Pink.
no
Lavender…
Magenta…
what is that?
beautiful.
back to the book..
no
i stand up
slide open the door
and go on the deck to look at the sky
my eyes take it in like a drug
and i smile
and think
—so beautiful—
it’s cold
back inside
warmth, kinda
reading
glance up
The Sky
you can see the rays of sun falling behind the earth in the clouds
watch it
can you see it moving up? disapearing?
how much longer?
you know
it always fades to black
the book..
no
i slide open the door
and look
not just the sky over the valley
the tops of the clouds still bright
but to my left (the west)
so bright!
the whole sky!
that COLOUR!
i turn and look
to see if you’re going to follow me
do i have a book mark?
no
.finger.
i run
to the front
through the garden
down the steps
around the chappel
the sky in the north is already gone to blue
this didn’t work
in the west! it’s so bright
i run
up the hill
no enough
i run
up the drive way
is life worth living if you don’t try and chase down the sunset?
i wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who died with out trying…
but how long has it been
since i chased the sunset?
it seems like something familiar
something i’ve done my whole life
a million childhood days…
chasing rainbows…
driving fast through fields…
but i’m on foot now
and it’s cold
and my lungs are hurting
my mouth filled with cold air
stiff tongue
i clamp it closed
and breathe deep through nose:
is this the last time i’ll ever see it? this streak of bright life through the sky?
it’s gone
the sky is gone blue again
the colour is fading behind the other mountain
i open the book where my finger is
and read the last few paragaphs of the chapter that i could have read
but missed the sunset
and walked bouncily back down the hill to the house
where it’s warm
and dark, already
night is here
maybe i’ll die tonight
hopefully be reborn tomorrow…