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the new software seems to make the highlights blow out in a way they used not to… and the HDR photos take longer to save, of course, and create odd effect when moving

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I always wanted to visit the 3rd Ward
today
I Found A Reason
(which some will know later)
they’re giving away lime green bikes with membership
I’m feeling a bit like the illustration
but I’m on my way to Spa Castle now
things are gonna change
I can feel it

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very different from how I did it last year
I wrapped bundles…
and will probably go out and do it again next week for more practice…
SO
if anyone has recommendations about wrapping smudge sticks
or wants one
or wants to go make some with me
let me know…

they’re just flowering now, many are still in bud… next week will be perfect

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made up on landfill from the cross-bronx expressway…
lots of granite… and people’s homes

(mugwort on right)
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come get your testosterone here!

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the greatest thing I’ve noticed I’m learning
living here
is how not to buy into drama

sure
occasionally I cash in my chips for some cacophony

but most of my time here has been untying those knots

not rushing down the sidewalks, the subway stairs

I’m strolling

I’m not falling in love
I’m learning compassion
but letting people freak out on their own terms

less anger
I feel
less desperation
less desire

more acceptance

am what I yam

mmmm, I still love pop music
but not as much
"there’s only now
no ever-after
we won’t let in
any disaster
you are my twin
no I will
never
go there"

watching the sun set into the river
the endlessly undulating waves offer nothing but beauty
no enticing promises…

but with the sun gone
it’s cool
ending of summer
I best put my clothes on and get on with my day

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it seems
society accepts a model of growth where the individual makes sense of the world up til puberty (if that) and then has only those tools to work with
only that data

"somehow you’ve red-rovered the gestapo circling my heart"

our contemporary hoosier culture
with girls wearing barettes
boys wearing glasses too big fir their face
to make it smaller
I
myself
have a specific attraction in my sexuality to be with the bigger, the adulter… so that I might get moments of transcendental childhood with them

and when I speak with my mother
and other denizens of the Midwest
they often refer to reality as something static and limited only to their direct experiences
which is, I would think, a healthy perception
but woefully inadequate for the model of the world connected through all ideas

all those ideas are presented through biases
so people read from the bias they come from
keeping the infinity of our shared reality
limited and static
usually only perceiving differences from their vernaculars as shadows encroaching on the one-true-light of their paradigm

the art the art the art needed
bias directed subversion
that’s convincing
as so many of them expose their directives too early on

but of course
this is trickery
manipulation
seduction…

and what do I need any souls for? greater than my own? increase the power of my hand. my own cadre of mortmains. puppet communities.

with all my worldiness
my own ignorance
I believe I should steer aspects of planet-ship Earth

but shouldn’t anyone who feels the call try?
not every one succeeds, or course
but doesn’t that follow our fantasy of Capitalism and Democracy…
following the tails of Monarchies and Tribes
organizing speaks to Order
it has changed
it will change
we can’t just leave it up to chance and Politicians…

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this summer has really gotten away from me
so many things I intended to do

dreams

the Jewish holidays coming early this year
they know
summer’s on its way out
dry

the water’s low

the mugwort’s almost blooming

I feel like I’ve got nothing in the air
up coming
undone the glamours
now here we are
me

huuuuuu

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but back stage
we’re shuffling the decks

I’m desperate here
I should have mentioned

I didn’t know
I was standing on the shore today

the waves were high
I saw a broken old raft

I clambered over the rough granite
barefoot in the hot sun

a rope had it stuck under deep rocks
it was close enough for me to jump on

I swayed with the waves
avoiding splinters and upturned nails

I swayed with the waves
and imagined pushing out to sea

with one good friend
or alone

where would we go?
it was only later I considered

what to eat? to drink?
how to steer?

so attractive
helpless on the ocean

floating away from any possibility
of destruction or salvation

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the Islamic takeover of the world

so
my client today told meson faction of Islam in Denmark told the government that in 30 yearstgey would control the Danish government simply because they are reproducing more and will have a substantial percentage of the vote in order to get whatever they want
he said
"it’s already happened in Amsterdam: two gays were just killed my Muslims. they’re taking over"

yeah, and soon all women will have to wear burkahs

yesterday
in an SUV driving along the east side highway
with the most adorable orthodox Jewish guy I met at the tenth street baths years ago
listening to Savage Nation
I could hear Michael’s spit through the speakers
he ranted like a rabid dog
insane ignorant garbage
declaring the American sale of billions of dollars of fuel to Israel a hopeful attempt to overthrow the "evil ruler" of Iran
so all of the women there could throw off their burkahs and be free
and what
be raped?
will an equal measure of war save women in this country from wearing dangerous high heals and dressing like prepubescent sex objects?
a confusion, I’m sure, between fashion and culture
oh, and perspective

yes
the whites aren’t populating enough
in thirty years time
our minority will be too stark to ignore
we’re afraid
afraid of dying
afraid of living
afraid of live
afraid of sex
our own bodies
betrayed by our weakness
sicking all the villains we’ve created in the brown people we’ve abused in recent history after us
but it’s not retribution
it’s just history telling itself
why shouldn’t Islam have it’s turn?
what modicum of horrors did "Christianity" inflict on every culture it could lay it’s greedy grimy paws on?
how much was destroyed and abused in the name of God?
a god we don’t even know the name of…
at least Muslims have a hundred names of his beauty
and wear great beards

time time time
two thousand years of slavery and abuse
passing on the baton

it’s not like our culture is all that great
or sacred
torturing countless women and children in my short life time
so we can drive our big cars
and buy our scads of cheap crap at walmart et al

I don’t mean to be a misanthrope
but it’s the gobo I see the light of humanity through

all’s fair in the human story
and what turns over in the next hundred
or thousand years
will have its turn as well

til the next great driver is ready to take the wheel

they’ll learn how to love, I’m sure
civil rights movements all over again
a new version of the modern women
a new version of the sacred homosexual a new version of the liberated (humbled) white man
everything will almost fall into place
with the minor sadness of a large percentage of the planet becoming uninhabitable
but it will almost be good again
almost

then the aliens will come
or leviathan
or the Tao
and turn it all over

we’ll keep spinning right along
yeah
it’s alright

while you’re waiting
your could buy the new album by
of Montreal
False Priest
think about sex
and laugh about it all
while dancing

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green pants
nineteen seventies
in his sixties
healthy
but drinks snapple
glasses, he may have borders David Byrne’s hair
a polyester sports style bag
though
he’s dressed for something else tonight
and sitting behind him at 90°
a short woman
who’s feet barely reach the floor
pale plumpy short legs
skin sandals
blending into the dirtesque flooring
her skirt matches the era
with flowers printed in oranges and pinks
topped with a red blouse a color Izod would have used
her hair is dreaming of Mama Cass

the orange and yellow seats as a background creates a relationship with the woman in purple
oh that was just her bag
she’s also reminiscing of sports tonight with her tight black pants to the knee and her loose navy t-shirt
terrible white tennis shoes on
but they feel like they may actually have a use
instead of some half assed boring blank attempt at masculine virility
like the hair style she got from Ellen…
that’s the only color that’s out of place

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