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Date:
Thu, 29 May 2003 15:03:44 -0700 (PDT)
From:
 ”dominick vyne”
Subject:
the history of contacts
To:
“Sowinski, Louis”
how do you know where i am
you freak!?
do you have spies?
i’ll fucking sue you man!
back off!
i mean,
i’m loving the midwest
i feel so comfortable
at ease
sleeping well
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows…
i was deperately depressed in indiana
did my best to wear a smile
— it came across as convincing
except when mother asked me to stay longer and i almost broke down and
cried.
thursday night to sunday afternoon
dad and i were together
which was pretty damn cool
but i’ll get to that in a moment
mom yelled at him for ignoring me
after i’d come all that way and been gone so long
so i was sleeping in your room
where i’ve been brewing kombucha
and sleeping on that buckwheat pillow
and, you know me, i’m a normal guy and everything
not really into that psychic stuff
but that pillow is freaky
mom’s memories are in there
and some of yours
when i put my head on it
i could hear her thoughts (past)
and some of yours
and lots of voices i didn’t know
it was freaky
i had to move it away when i wanted to actually sleep
but it was fun to play with
and the second morning dad walks in
wakes me up, of course,
and asks me my plans
which i spilled out
— they didn’t include him because he was absent…
but he said he wanted to spend time
and i told him i was here to see him
so would change my plans
happy to do so
‘ dad, i’m terrified of you ‘
so we made plans
and that morning made me feel SO good
so filled with love
i pulled down three of your books
“how to lose a guy in ten days”
“the history of suicide in america”
“the journey to self discovery”
they were all very helpful
i wrote in my journal a long time
and felt very good
dad and i
of course
argued
as you say
he loved picking fights with me
but i wasn’t so interested in showing him that i was better than he is
though, of course, we know i am
so i would just sai
“dad, we could play this game forever.. .but we’re not going to”
and i would walk away
then come back
and we’d talk again
it was nice
we took walks
and got kinda drunk
and his fishing buddies visited
and we played cards with harry and laverne and gerry
and dad said i should come for 4th of july and november
and often do things that i didn’t like to make other people happy
and always be true to myself
and never mention anything about homosexuality around him
and i smiled
and it was nice
and we seperated.
he’s not a bad man.
he loves mom a lot
or needs her
he’s cast her in a role that she doesn’t fit
and doesn’t really know about
and he’d probably be embarrassed to explain it to her
and it’s a nice dream
and it’d be really nice if it’d work out for them
but they’d have to have a relationship first
so… we’ll see where it goes
coz it doesn’t look like either of them really want to seperate.
these people are fucking crazy.
this is life, and everything’s alright.
i visited genie and kristy.
i’m with rick and elaine right now
some other stuff has happened
the van is leaking oil.
things are ok
things are confusing
life moves on
how are you?
…dominic

Date:
Mon, 21 Apr 2003 01:53:48 -0700 (PDT)
From:
 ”dominick vyne”
Subject:
Re: My trip and a shirt
To:
 ”Rick S”
Hallo Rick
so
i left your place and headed up to Santa Rosa
dropped off the stuff
and was amazed i was taking this trip…
then headed down 12
through the windy roads
through the marsh lands
into the east bay
through the 780
680
580
to 5
then stopped
set up the bed
the blinds
and slept!
woke up slightly late in the morning
surprisingly
as i thought i got to sleep early…
but before i started driving
i noticed there was a nail in the right front tire!
so i looked at the map and decided to try and make it to Modesto
where i assumed they’d have a Costco
to get the tire fixed
but when i got to the next exit, where i was just going to turn around
i realized saw there was a nice little christian truck repair place on
the hill…
and a guy pulled the nail, reamed the tire and plugged it for twenty
bucks.
it seems to be holding well.
i then continued on down the road
not stopping TOO much
but still not getting to my brother’s til nearly 7
found a perfect parking space in the shade.
then realized the air conditioner had fallen while driving!
so i just took the screws out and tucked it neatly on the side til i
figure out how to disconnect all those tubes..
another question: do you know if the heat gauge is working on the dash?
it never moved through the whole day of driving
so i suspect it’s not
conscious of overheating in the desert
i just wanted to check and see if you knew
and OH
the passanger door started working just fine again.
well, nearly fine.
it opens from the outside at least.
it’s a quirky van
i named i Vic
(Vicar Victory)
(Victory Vicar?)
but it feels like home
thank you ever so much.
yeah, um, yeah
the shirt
i realized that i left it there yesterday
i suppose you could give it away, yeah
if you find someone who must have it
but i do like it
so if it’s not too much trouble
send it on to here
dominic, care of
robert pittenridge
(address ommited)
as far as the wine
i’ve only had one bottle so far
but given away four
and two have been bad
(rotten corks, fallen in or corkscrew gone right through like pulp)
and the one i drank tasted so nice
so rich and full
like honey and spice…
then the tannins hit and my mouth puckered up and bowels clenched
WOW
i never knew there could be such tannins!
it was realy tasty wine, though
nice to have one glass of it
i’ve got a few bottles
so will drink it slowly next time.
so many adventures you’ve allowed me
i’ll do my best to spend time with you by sending you little tales of
how it goes on my journey
so far as i know
i’m leaving tomorrow to head to arizona
palm springs on the way?
.. we’ll see
thank you
for so many different things
and blessings to you
may you love everything you touch
and may everything that touches you fill you with love
…dominic

Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 20:50:06 -0800 (PST)
From: “de nada” Add to Address Book
Subject: my ideas of giving and recieving
To: “Enda McCool”
well, i didn’t start bottoming until i was 18
i was scared of it!
the first guy who fucked me was 50 something
it was so hot!
he fucked me for about two hours
and i remember laying there in a puddle on the bed
with my head blown off
>>OH! THAT is what Sex is all ABOUT!<<
i wanted to get fucked all the time after that
the next guy really hurt me
the next few really hurt me
then i got warts up my ass
and stopped getting fucked for two years
good thing i did, i think
i've just really started getting fucked again over the
last year.
now, unfortunately, i don't know how well i can
explain this to you
because
you say
you don't "believe" in sexual energy
um
do you believe in any energy at all?
hello?
(laughs)
do you believe in the chinese energy meridians?
do you believe in Lay Lines?
do you believe in Reiki?
do you believe in magick?
sex is the most powerful act we have at our finger
tips
IT MAKES ENTIRELY NEW PEOPLE
yeah, generally
when a man fucks another man
if you look at his face
there is anger there
or fear
or some weird fucking domination thing going on
which, as far as i understand, is all about insecurity
if you are secure with yourself
you don't need to dominate another person
i remember reading that
with the Greeks
generally
the mentors wouldn't actually FUCK so much
they would to frattage
between the legs
because penetration WAS demeaning in their society
i have been love-fucked a few times
and anger-fucked a few times
and really
i am a picky person
it is rare i get satisfyingly fucked
i'm much more of a top, anyway
i've still got a LOT to learn about bottoming
because it's RECIEVING
pathic
laying back
suffering it
taking it
it's hard
hard to relax and recieve
for me…
that being said
i've noticed that whenever someone fuckes me
i get some of their energy
that being said
only two people have cum in me over the last two years
so far as i remember
two.. three?
not many
it's just too… Much.
i would say dangerous
but that's not right.
having someone open your root with their root
is one thing
having someone dump their seed
the material manifestation of their life energy
that which they use to create another life
that which they use to pass on their story
having that planted in your root
well, that's a little too much for me, often
i mean
ideally
i'd love to find a partner i love
and want to be sewn by
but
i'm picky
in the past
when i've had peole cum in me
that i DIDn't trust
or even KNOW
it just fucked me up
and i had to do a lot of work to get myself clear
again
still, i love it
intimacy
the taking in
joining
union
when fucking
that's what i focus on
loving that person
and making my cum an exlir of love to shoot in them
bless them in some way
eucharist
generally
i'll fuck someone
( i don't use condomns much )
cum in them
then keep fucking them for a while
coz once i've CUM
i've arrived.
once i'm there
i can be there with my mate
always better when he shares this consciousness, of
course
because then we're there together
we can go places
inside of eachother
and …
but that's my trip
any questions?
(wink)
…dominic
— Enda McCool wrote:
> I forgot to ask you what conclusions you have drawn
> from you own experience of bottoming. Since you
> began
> having sex with older men at age 12, you must have
> had
> more experience being fucked than I ever will.
>
> I was just reading a study of Greek male-to-male sex
> that argued that bottoming was looked down on
> because
> it lowered the status of the bottom to that of
> women.
>
> The worst was for an older man to let himself be
> fucked by a younge. But even the younger bottoms
> were
> not supposed to enjoy it. They were supposed to give
> themselves just out of admiration for the older man.
>
> For a younger man, being fucked was not so bad
> because
> it was considered natural for boys and youths to
> pass
> through a period of inferiority to older men and it
> was only temporary.
>
> Fucking a guy has often been seen as a way of
> punishing or humilating him. A good excuse for the
> top. Anyway, I enjoy being topped as long as I think
> the fucker likes me and respects my humanity before
> and after fucking me. Greater love hath no man but
> to
> give his asshole to a big buddy.
>
> Jerry
> —
>

Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 22:43:14 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: something about Kansas
To: “Tony S.”
Hey Tony
so, you’re a star
you’re busy as hell
way too many emails
that’s ok
and it’s well understood
so get back with me on this when you can.
i drove back from arizona when i was 20
that is, back to Indiana
took apart my child hood room in my parent’s house
( i had the walls completely covered with clippings and pictures and
writings )
and helped re-paint it.
a passing on…
traded my car in for a little pickup
and heading to Michigan
chicago
wisconsin
Iowa
Kansas City, Kansas
and Lawrence
on the way from Iowa to KC
the transmisson blew out
but i rode it into town
and stayed with a friend there
it took a month before i could leave
whereupon i met the guy who inherited the William S Burroughs estate
his long time editor
and was split between that strange reality in Lawrence
and the strange reality of Kansas
tonight, i was reading a poem
she’s on a long trip from toronto
across america
at the part where she gets to kansas
her car breaks down
four days for her
slightly longer for me
now… i don’t really like the two people i still know in Kansas
i’m not really on speaking terms with the guy in KC
and the guy in Lawrence just thinks he’s so great
and it’s so boring talking to people who think they’re so special
that is
if they don’t see how special you are at the same time
this occurred to me
when i thought of you
you’re special
and being told you’re special
not just by me:
my limited eye being attracted to your flesh
and the few words you’ve used to present yourself
and the many you’ve used to explain your truancy
and you know your special
do you know much about breakdowns?
are you from that town?
what took you to being there…?
was it intentional?
are you already in love?
with yourself? with another?
are you looking for something?
do you know what you got?
is this a welcomed wash through the beautiful emptiness that is the
midwest?
what kind of love do you need, love?
get that transmission replaced…
what stories can you tell about cars…
and your heart in the earth
and feeling the heart of your lover?
i know i’m way overstepping my bounds here
but that’s me
a circue performer in the ring of human emotions and the banks of the
rivers we flow in
i thought i’d fish for you
and see if i caught anything
anything worth jumping in the river for
blessings
…dominic

Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 22:30:17 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: DO WHAT YOU CAN
To: “give me a reminder”
i just got up to Leo’s
i love it here
it is so beautiful
and like the houses of our hosts
( our friend/lovers [but not our soulmates]; “America”…)
it is so neglected.
my brother drove me up
late late last night we got here
it was fun
and i was so tired
had to fight to stay awake the last half hour
tilted my head back far and stared up at the stars and the car
zoomed…
walked with my brother and his new girlfriend
i am happy to see him happy
i’m always happy to see two people happy together
i’m very hurt that these two midwesterners cannot be but what they are
and interract in the standard midwestern heterosexual way
Male dimminishing his mate
female glad to love and be loved
on those terms
UGH
i wanted to tell them to part until they both grew
wanted to tell them not to do it like that
but it’s like telling people not to cook their food
how can you say it without sounding extremest… stupid… offensive?
it’s not my place.
that’s how it was in portland too, seeing sheridan
the whole situation there
and their lives based in settling with a reality rooted in fear
“and that’s all…”
but it’s not my place to tell them
it’s just my place to live my life
and i don’t want to live that one
so i was a visitor
and passed on
now i’m up at Leo’s.
Leo is often too busy
and this house is soooo neglected.
when my brother left i swept for a few hours
moved things around.
sighed a lot.
i have a lot of work to do
but also because Europe realy tired me out.
it was a lot of work
and will continue to be so.
love
attempting to love
SO HARD
tired me out.
so so much did i try
that i neglected myself
and now i will love this house
and i will love myself
and i will rest.
open for visitors until the new moon
then closed for the waning
for me to be quiet
for me to be inside
fasting and resting
listening.
Leo get’s back late march, near the new moon.
we will fast together
we will spend a week or two together
sleeping together
not having sex
fasting.
then yacov will come
(who knows about the future?)
Yacov amazes me
he’s so fucking annoying.
all of my negative traits
AMPLIFIED
and WAY out of control
and totally blind
but with such a good heart
well,
we will travel south
then east
Texas?
Oklahoma?
New orleans, i think
i will leave him there
and take a bus?
hitch hike?
walk 10,000 miles?
i will knock on your door
or is it unlocked, can i just walk in?
Have you Seen “Bowling for Columbine”?
would you like to go to Short Mountain for Beltane?
perhaps Yacov and i could pick you up and we could all go together
perhaps just you and i
perhaps not.
Yacov said
“when you get there
DON’T talk about any of your personal issues
just enjoy eachother
if you want to do therapy shit
go to a therapist”
and i thought about laying out the lines
drawing up contracts!
and i remembered how we speak to eachother
not with detailed words
we talk with our bodies
our food
our hands
our eyes
our tongues
our holes
wholly wholly wholly!
we will remember our language together
and expand it.
all of this is hither nor thither
i look forward to being in love with you again, my dear
(wink)
see you soon.
…Vorpal blade went Snicker Snak
he came galumphing back
what else could he do?
— Robert Pittenridge wrote:
———————————
Thank you for calling me…hearing you is what I needed. Everything
started swimming back into place. Since the day I wrote you and said
“No”, its all been static, no good, no good at all.
I was hurt, I was miserable, I was longing for you…I kicked my heart
back down time after time.
I brought your photos with me to Little Rock, and the painting of you,
I was talking to them and not to you…My mistake for months and
months….always to the flat images of you and never to the full
fleshed out shining version. Fantasy. Masterbation when it should be
manifest.
I love you. I always have, since the first hours of being with you. You
are the most beautiful, mostest one.
I had a conversation with Alan last night….He said: ” I dont
understand why you and Dominic are not together, you two have such
passion for each other..” “I know you love him…” “He challenges
you, and you need that.”
And then Angy said tonight: “Your face always brightens, and your
heart swells when you speak of him, you know you love hime deeply…do
something about it.”
They are right. You are right. I was right(once upon a time) I love
you. We complete a circuit.
You share my dreams, you understand. You really do, unlike anyone else
can.
Oh, and by the way, Im sorry for trying the asshole shit with you…..I
realized that it was stupid. But I had convinced myself that you would
be better off to just let you go…better for you, I didnt want you to
waste your time, to miss out on finding something I wasnt sure I could
give. Its hard. I so wanted to hold you when we were together in SF. I
was sad all weekend. No one else comes close. I was a dummo…I have
been for too long.
I’m really tired of being scared of you, it, us.
mumble mumble…I dont know what else to say at the moment…
Thank you for never giving up. Thank you for being a star. Thank you
for loving me.
I love you. Im still here for you…and Im glad that I can still feel
you. I wont push you away again.
Come visit Ruby Hill, please. Lets spend some real time together again.
Take my hand again…I was wrong to withdraw it.
Alan wants me to send his love and invitations as well. “He’s Family,
and family is always welcome.” He said.
How about it Boyo?
Message found in a fortune cookie: “DO WHAT YOU CAN”
Robert Pittenridge
www.avalon.net/~asmorti/robbear.html

Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 21:26:10 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Dear Saint Nicholas
To: “Leo Joseph”
oh, it feels like it’s been so long since i talked with you last
so many things have happened to us since then!
i left London and went to wales with an angel named Chad
jumped in a cold spring
then stared up into the starry night
then sweated for an hour in a hand built sauna
with an old wood burning stove
in a house owned by two kids named
“labrynth of love”
and
“lucifer”
who only eat raw food.
hm.
plans changed instantly
and i ended up in glastonbury the next day
so crazy
that night was a party in Bath
much like the gay men i enjoy spending time with
but they were all straight women!
i was, slightly, terrified
but never let it show
apart from being hit one right and left and centre
Ugh
some woman feeding me wild mushrooms
and another relentlessly harping in me about shaving my beard!
i left
and went for a nice long walk
the top of the hill
looked out over the city
my oh my
so gorgeous
i will have to say gorgeous a thousand times.
one man in there
clean shaven
but looked upon me with a longing i’ve only ever associated with love
his wife was nice
but he said
“no. no. don’t cut your hair or your beard. no. don’t listen to them. .
.. ”
that was nice.
and i slept the next few days
she was a pot head, the woman i stayed with
and a friend of hers had just jumped off a bridge into traffice in
yorkshire…
and and old childhood friend blew his brains out in indiana
and eli’s dad’s brain is dissolving
what?
getting closer and closer.
i won’t go into my fears.
but when i finally did wake up to some sort of clarity in glastonbury
i went out for a long walk along the hills
lost and in love with the sky
the trees
the green green
the brambles!
i tore my pants up!
and the skin underneath
but with joy!
with joy!
then to the glastonbury Tor
apparently this was all a group of islands
and the winds up there are 2000 miles per hour
if they feel like it
a strange town
left the next day for here
Wales.
nice guy i am staying with
but
just
no
connexion.
he’d never been fucked, though
poor lad.
so i did some teaching
and learned so much about this sort of thing
that i might be able to fuck you some day without causing any pain
but, oh, not fuck
make love
just thinking about it reminds me about how i want you inside me
am i being crass of vulgar?
let me get to the important part:
i forget all my dreams so quickly
but they have been very powerful this week:
i went for a walk along the coastal cliff walks
all the way from Solva to St. Non’s
barefoot
grass and dirt
amazing
oh
my oh my
three hours
five miles or six or some such number
blessed
i can’t leave that out
because it was precious
but then we went to a party
all welse people this time
and then some indians
and i loved them
straight people!
i forgot about all these straight people!
what do you do with them all the time?
i keep feel like i’m forgetting the most important part…
i ate too much
too much meat
YUM
it was made so well
tasted so good
i ate too much pudding
three different pies
YUM
and then
in the middle and either ends of all that
i drank too much wine
but it was the glass of water that threw me over the edge
i went to lay down on the floor
and was woken by bobbie
telling me to get in bed.
so i went to…
Sleep?
no,
i was with you
and we were like inseperable babies in a play pin
we were naked
and in and out of eachother in all sorts of ways
laughing and playing
all of these crazy shapes!
it felt such home!
i don’t remember now
it felt such home!
my heart’s burst!
i woke up with a horrible pain in my chest
horrible
hard to breathe
had to cough and cough
but mostly was aware of how i didn’t want to be awake
didn’t want to have anything to do with
west wales
or the UK
or ANYWHERE
i only wanted to fall back into my dream so i could be with you again
in that strange forever inseperable conjugal bliss
i was overwhelmed
but don’t feel it now.
still, i can look back on it
and imagine it as hangover
but remember it as a form of worship
i’ve been talking with god a lot lately
the day before …
two days before?
time drips by…
walking up the cliff side at solva.
a different one
i come over the crest and fell in love
with everything
and other lovers were there with me
others
coz all beauty and love must be shared
so it was god
and god was the sun and came out through the clouds
and hugged me
and it was all my lovers
and we laughed!
it was beautiful
and that dream with you was like that
like something i don’t feel much anymore
but something i felt with Robert in arkansas:
sex:
love:
a form of worship
being with god
being god
loving the whole world
healing the whole world
through getting lost in beautiful maniacle fucking.
(laughs)
such a strange dream
that i didn’t remember it at all
but i knew i needed to write to you
and then that came back
i have been writing for hours now!
not just to you
but eli
and other people
randomn people i don’t know
and then
people like you
like you?
my friend Leo.
diving in and out
so strange to feel you
different faces and different hearts
Leo: an archetype of love for this boy dominic
and you pass on to me your gifts of loving
i will gladdly carry them on
but right now i am tired
it’s five in the morning
and you are santa clause somewhere
or having tea with eli
the elfin grin i see on your face
the glint in your eyes
nearly brings tears to mine
i love being this raw and crazy in love
but why now?
the world needs it
thanks for doing your part
well, the part we do together
Ha!
love and blessings, m’boy
i’ll see you soon.
…domenicus
— Leo Joseph wrote:
> dear one,
>
> it was such a wonderful gift to talk with you last
> week!
>
> it is the closest we have had to a real visit since i
> left amsterdam.
>
> eli did call me last week and we talked for a while-
> doen’t look good for his father.
>
> he asked if we could meet up when i get over to s.r.
> which i will do today as i have an appointment for an
> eye exam there this afternoon.
>
> then to s.f. for a few days and back here, then to
> ukiah for the weekend. i become st. nicholas there on
> sat. for the holiday fair at the church. mass the next
> morning then home again.
>
> thanksgiving was very pleasant…
> michael and rose were up here and we all went to fred
> and sally’s for dinner… just like last year except
> you were here and i was not.
>
> how are you doin’?
>
> would love to hear from you.
>
> i will be home fri. night and sun. night.
>
> am thinking of my travels and seeing you again.
>
> by late january it will be time for our planets to
> cross paths again…
>
>
> love you and wish you were here… or i was there!
>
> leo
>
> ___________________________________

Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 20:49:47 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Re: you
To: “my name is Eli”
You?
what is this talk about you?
i am sorry
i didn’t mean to leave you alone.
have you met leo yet?
i love him and miss him.
i am concerned about you.
yes i am afraid.
but
hey
that’s nothing new
i listened to “scatterheart” today
and realize how much i wish that for you
“there’s nothing i’d love to do more
than spare you from that burden
offer comfort and protection
if i only could
shelter you
from that pain
(just to make things easier on you)
— you’re going to have to find out for yourself.”
perhaps i worry about you in leiu of worrying about myself
i am also in a lot of pain
and so on and so forth
but you are you
and you are not me
(the lengths that i will go to
the distance in your eyes)
since your friend sent me the email about your dad’s Prions
i have eaten a lot of british beef.
hmmm, yum.
i like how she presented it
not in these words
but like
“well, damon was just one of the lucky 300 or so in america that have
just magically go this”
there is no such thing as safe.
everything is poison.
have i told you about the peacock?
it is one of my good memories of Mongolia
(no, actually, i never wore my red suede vest in mongolia)
i was told why pecocks are so reviered in buddhist teaching:
there are these
berried
that if anyone eats them
humans
animals
birds
babies…
They Die.
very strong poison.
but the pecocks, of course
they go around eating these berries all the time
the poison just makes them more beautiful.
(you’re gonna have to find out for yourself)
(63 65 69… 72)
so some of us are babies and people and animals and deamons and
some of us are peacocks
shake that hips
shake that die
ce
and roll is out
trip over your tail feathers
and fly around
there’s some pain in the air
but no
that’s not why i haven’t emailed you:
it’s been very hard for me to spend ANY time on my self the last three
or four or five weeks.
fucking xavier
and jacov
and bob
whatever
manifesting these attention suckers
these people around me that constantly demand all of my energy
i want a holiday!
nope!
but i am in wales now
west wales
where we’d take the ferry over to ireland, actually
but we’re not going to do that right now.
we’re going back to london tomorrow
and going to cologne on thursday
but we’ll not get into that with eli, no we won’t.
(just to make things easier on you)
we will, however, tell him a little about Solva
the small town were David Grey comes from
and how dominic
(our hero)
took off his boots and slung them over his shoulder
and walked many miles
for about three hours
along the cliff edges
YES
singing hyperballad and anchor song
and sail away and stony end
and… of course, a few others.
classics
our favourites
eli, i am very tired now
i walked bare foot!
the grass was so soft!
it was so pretty!
god and i are friends again
we love eachother
he came out from behind the clouds and hugged me
it was nice too.
i liked it.
and lost my little stone
oh.
(underworld song)
gee, i don’t know, elii
why haven’t you written me and told me something about your life
you gotta be a better translator
i mean
transmitter
you
mister reciever
(how does that go?
connector in
reciever out
you let me in through the back door)
i love you and stuff
and you have featured prominaentely in my Treams over the last few
hallucinagenic nights
( a girl at a party gave me some welsh mussshies)
( i walked through glastonbury, up the tor… ran through the hills…
ripped my pants up right through the skin of my legs )
we were performers
in a city devided between audiance and actors
this isn’t very different than reality?
we were very tired and had a lot of work to do
and it was hard to get everything to cooperate.
there were a few other dreams
other nights
but they were mostly like this.
and there are saints
and loved ones.
dreams.
and loved ones.
far away
hey hey
honey
give your daddy a kiss on the fore head
and take back the evil spell famous joe cast on him
and close your eyes
and put your hands on him
and go inside
and find him
and give him a hug
and open your belly
so that nasty black and blue empty space between you and your dad can
disappear
so you two can feel eachother before he disolves
you know that’s what pisces are all about: dissolving back into god
personality and soul falls apart
returns to the void
so catch the threads before they are just part of the ocean again
coz you’re a virgin
and can’t breathe underwater yet
ugh
i love you
goognight
i am very tired.
and, yeah
scared i will hurt you more than help you
… i am doing the best i can
( i am not trying to break your heart )
— my name is Eli wrote:
> why have you stopped writing?
>
> i miss you. are you afraid?
>
>
>
>

Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 20:32:58 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: ways to make simple math equations work with out the expected results
To: “Vince o”
hey, don’t you worry, mister
i’ll put you on my MSN messanger list when next i encounter it on a
computer
but here’s the thing i wanted to give you:
when i was 13 i discovered this in a book on sexual secrets
then, when i was 18
i studied yoga for two weeks with a husband and wife couple in Michigan
city, north west indiana
the man taught me this, a continuation of the thing i had been doing
since i was 13:
the muscle that is used to control pissing
called the “perineum” in western medicine
the “mulabanda” in indian yoga practice
… the “sandbar” as my childhood friends refered to it..
— right now you can feel it
squeeze it
know what i mean?
it’s a very powerful muscle
and it’s a very powerful energy spot
root chakra and all that, really
(laughs)
but here’s the thing:
it’s really powerful to use in sex.
it’s the muscle that controls how hard your dick is
and how much you can hold back from cumming
but also how well you can generate energy down there
so you want to know how to make 55 go into 24 more times than you might
think it should?
feel this muscle
(not with your hands, with your whole body)
and tighten it
feel that
let it go.
do this…
all day.
do it a lot
any time you think of it
do it quick
or do it slow
hold it three seconds
then let it go
or do it with the breath
one way
(hold; breathe in, relax; breathe out)
and/or the other.
eventually
the muscle will get much stronger
then you can do fancy energy stuff with it
but i’ll leave that for you and your imagination to explore
(remember, anything you dream of is possible…
like seeing me in london)
but i will give you a suggestion:
there is energy comming from everywhere
the centre of the earth
the farthest point in the heavens…
the computer at your feet
the sun
the moon
the telephone…
sample these energies
once you learn to use your mulabanda to hold your own energy
you can pull in others
(the centre of the earth and the centre of the heavens i have always
enjoyed and found most friendly)
and cultivate them in you
i only mention this
because if both of us do this
we can roll around in sexual bliss much longer
however
from the light in your eyes and the beauty of your smile
i am sure you have your own ways of cultivating your life energy
which i will be happy to feel
when you tell me you are comming to london
it’s great meeting you Vince
til then
see you in the dreaming:
…dominic
…vine
http://photos.yahoo.com/vyne23

Date: Thu, 5 Dec 2002 10:43:10 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Re: empty tea-cup
To: chadventure@
i have not read
The Gift
by Hafiz
but i know well about tea-cup-talks-of-God
God? Love?
difference is?
Good? Love?
God? Lover?
Hmm, anyway
i think i know a poem of the same theme by rumi
or
i heard it in my dreams.
glastonbury was beautiful
i ran out of the house one day
one day i had enough energy
woke up early enough into the sun
and ran into the hills
up there
ripped up my pants on the thorns
many cuts on my legs
acting like a little animal in the forest
so so so beautiful
the skies so wide and far
saw the tor off in the distance
what is this magic?
the time in glastonbury was INTENSE
natalie is a luvely lady
and i won’t give you my judgements
but it was hard on me.
she took me to a party in bath
just after finding out one of he old friends had died
and she lives in the world of the normal brish people
where as you and i know plenty of people named things like
skywalker
or sky dancer
or zygote
or lucifer
and shellfish
her’s, there, were all things like
steve
and
shelly
and
cigarettes.
dying from emphazema
she refuses to quit smoking.
i have sever trouble being around people who know their problems
but persist in perpetuating them
if i were
perhaps
more into s&m
i would enjoy it more
however
i attract this energy often
so i must do my best to understand where it happens in me
perpetuate my own problems
…
have i done all this before?
party in bath
the crowd hailed i cut off my beard!
dead girl jumped off the bridge in yorkshire into the traffic
to end her painful and pointless life
want to prevent this ever happening again
steve would never stop smoking pot
as it would make him have to be active about things happening in his
life
!
and the house he lives in was filled with people using and ripping
eachother off
anger and frustration
unfair
oh, why such torture?
but this is small town england
small town world
what i know well
where i come from.
yes.
yes.
yes.
now i am in wales.
also with a man who insists on cutting my beard every day
swat away the hands i do
but the country is so
so so so so so
beautiful
david grey comes from a small town near here
i visited there
and climbed through turn of the centure lime kilns
then up a hillside
over the top
into the sun
who peeled away the clouds
to shine on my face
blinding me with the sea
reflecting through many harbours and islands
so beautiful
i was shocked
and had to laugh and hug and love
open my jacket
and take it all in
so so so so beautiful
what is all this talk of love and sadness?
just talk
smash that tea cup to the ground!
and i will be back in london on wednesday sometime
you will be staying at david/yacov’s?
cool cool
interesting household
we’ll be leaving for germany on thursday
if you see Valerie again soon
tell her to email me her interesting contacts in cologne
and
“we all went to heaven in a little row boat
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt”
thanks kid
love and blessings
…dominic
— Chad Balester wrote:
>
> hello chai-wallah!
>
> Did you ever hear the poem by Hafiz, about Love wanting to come and
> smash up all your tea-cup talk of God? or was it God wanting to come
> and smash up all your tea-cup talk of love? I’ll lend you his book,
> ‘the Gift’.
>
> Trust you had an interesting experience with the Glastafarians. I did
> say I was leaving you in good hands but I don’t know Natalie so well.
>
>
> How is Fishguard? Are the cod on sentry duty tonight? and did you see
> the stars! the stars tonight like fragments of broken gems,
> glittering with the tenderness of broken-hearted men.
>
> and how about that eclipse this morning?!
>
> for now i am here in Painswick going nowhere as fast as
> stillness can fly, like a fool on a hill with the world going by
>
> But I did buy a plane ticket to Brazil today, rio amio mio,
> departing on the 25th december. would be good to meet up again with
> my ecliptic opposite before i go
>
> until then, much sag love and hemp candy to you
>
>
>
> and in the end the love you is equal to
>
> ho diddley da dah ! and lots of samba ….
>
>
> Chadha.
>
>
>
>

Date: Sun, 1 Sep 2002 09:51:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Re: eurofaerie Interview
To: “Coco Pierre”
i have been away from the computer for a few weeks
on a commune
and at the rainbow gathering
but here we go:
you can use the pictures Jan took of me
but which ones?
the term “buttman” makes me suspicious…
please don’t use the one of me lying on my back holding my legs showing
my asshole
it is so un’couth
(grin)
jan took many
answers follow:
— Coco Pierre wrote:
> memorabilia23@yahoo.com
> Dear Vyne/Dominic-
> I was just able to get your email address from Annelize/jan and
> DeeTour/Joost both in Amsetrdam. I am doing our (the Eurofaeries’)
> Newsletter “The MarieposaZeitung” from here in Berlin.
> Ive decided that I like the Photos that Annelize did with you in
> Masterdam
> and would like to use You as this issues’ ‘Buttman” (the Buttpage is
> the
> last page rather than a centerfold)
> I would like with this some words from you so that we can make that
> subject-subject connection.
> So perhaps a brief interview and series of questions and your anwers
> might
> be good fun.
> So.. who are you and how old do you think you are?
i have often found that people see me as very masculine
old and wise… long beard…
or very childish: a little boy
though some see me as a strong woman
a friend said he could clearly see all three personalities in me.
who am i?
i often describe myself as a door that many spirits use
my ego being the focal point that is crazy enough to let it happen
allow for the openness and translation
i am who i am with whomever i am with
whereever i am with
changing quiet constantly
depending on what needs to be said and heard
when i am on my own
i am sometimes a little animal
blissed out and supported by nature
when i am alone in cities
i am a hungry ghost
or street jesus
or angel
or kid…
just a kid.
> What has been the pull from your roots in usa to come to Europe?
well, i have no roots in the USA
i blow around a lot because of that
from tree to tree…
in a way
i am hoping to find my roots here.
in the one year i lived in england when i was 17
i experienced the strongest “rooted” feeling i have ever had in my life
manifesting in secure root ways like:
being very creative in physical ways
painting, cooking, drawing, sculpting, acting, singing
more so than ever before or since.
these gifts resonating in my genes are what i am searching for in
europe
but MORE importantly
i am here to get a clearer perspective on myself
and on America
— most of the peole in america are europeans, after all
and learning what craziness they left
their reasons
and their desires
helps me know what to do with them all
(and myself)
when i return
/
as well as Europe is much more mature
which in a way is stifling
but is very comforting too
there is a stable conscious/unconsciousness that exists here that i
have never felt in america
that which i am open to learn and feel
making myself a more full and capable person/traveller/window
(laughs)
> what have you enjoyed in this shift?
finding myself totally lost and feeling alien
then to find friends who recognize me
( i mean deeply )
and show me the home in myself that i hadn’t been recognizing
> What places have given you a sense of center?
Germany, for some odd reason, constantly made me feel safe and
comfortable
as did Switzerland
(perhaps this relates to “der Himmel ober Berlin” (correct the spelling
please), the film by Wim Wenders, which i watched a million times as a
teenager and resonates saftey and security in me…)
the german language makes me love christianity for some reason
makes me want to be a monk…
sing all day in devotion…
everywhere else has been scary and amazing and beautiful
but not centering.
> Who have you met along the way and how does faerieness enter into
> your and
> their life?
my arrival in europe was fairy land
amsterdam
mostly there i was surrounded by faeries
i only entered into the RFs in america two years ago
and though i love it
having been a faery my whole life
i don’t often get into big groups
the faes in Amsterdam reminded me how loving and supportive brothers of
the spirit and flesh can be (if you know what i mean) and i am so
greatful to them for that
they also reminded me, contextually, of how difficult things are if you
try too hard, something i constantly work with.
when i left Amsterdam
i moved into the more conservative work-a-day parts of europe
on down
and most of the men (gays , of course) i dealt with were more “bearish”
(as is my “type”)
showing them the magick
and seeing their own magick (mundane, but beautiful)
helped me combine the two
the magick of faes
and the magick of simplicty.
for the last month and a half i have been around all straight kids and
adults
shining my own unique magick that being a homosexual magickal boy
allows me
which enriches so many around me
and i am glad of
still, i am curious
what do these straight people think they are doing
wierd…
> Your now cooking in tuscany? for who and how did that come about?
i was cooking dinner every other night for a family, of sorts, in
tuscany, yes.
i knew a german girl i met on a mountain top in america before i left
magick, you know, it hapens all the time.
she told me about this place, Avalon, the same time another german girl
did.
i left there
did some rainbow gathering
and then went to stay with a boy i met (straight) at Heartwood in
northern california (where the Billies (a more level group, but similar
to faes… much cross-over) gather for new year’s) where i started
cooking for groups.
i cooked with him at a nature preserver/resturant/farm outside of
Bologna
…for a while
a friend from america just went crazy and flew to europe to find me
so i will probably grow wings and unite with him for a few weeks
before he returns to his mundane strange reality back in america.
in fact, i am catching a train in a few hours for Slovakia…
> Did you like Masterdam? germanY?France?
amsterdam is the most beautiful city i have ever been in.. .it forced
me (OUCH) to deal with my issues of instant pleasure and cheap highs.
i learned a lot.
germany was a land of angels and mountains… something i missed in
Holland ( LOVE! )
and france made me uncomfortable.. like i was a clumbsy dirty child…
but the beautfy overwhelmed me.
switzerland worked well…
serious
i made 800 euros in two weeks
many beautiful people
but i had to be serious and professional about it
i laughed a lot
and was naked and swimming and playing around every sunny day i was
there
italy, so far, is beautiful
old
dirty
hot
sexy
Straight!
machismo
and hilarious
i am in love with it
but don’t know my place
having had no sex here
it is like my feet are floating off the ground
though i was just rolling around in the mud at the rainbow gathering.
overall, europe is asking me to be less of a fool and more of an adult
but still begging me to play the jester.
the myriad of teachers i am seeing is alchemically helping me refine
myself.
polished stone.
it’s about time.
meanwhile, my hair grows longer and wilder…
> Has adventure been different in Europe than in usa?
i have been mostly living in the west coast of the USA for the last few
years…
any imagination has manifested instantly and things just work out all
the time, no stress.
europe has been TOUGH
but much more worth it, i feel
that is
harder earned
but more rich.
the language barrier has made me more quiet
write much more
and taught me some amazing things
yes yes, much different than america
not so easy
but so much more… Real.
> Have faeries been different as well and how the same or different
> from
> your perspective?
the faes are different, yes.
mostly, in america, i find the faeries exist in the american context of
the land of dreams
where anything wished for can be had
though we are constantly learning the price of living in dreams
there are many monsters there
nightmares
and no telling what will really happen when we wake up.
the faes i have met here are much more grounded
and in a way
it is more painful for them…
in america
i was used to seeing people who did not resonate that pain in their
everyday lives
more in the heartcircle.
my fae friends in amsterdam
especially the ones who have spent a lot of time and energy on
themselves
have hard-core manifestations they deal with EVERY DAY
once again
i repeat
— everything in europe seems much more based in reality
part of magic of the faes is their crazy imagination
so i see more painful crashes here
(as things manifest harder)
and also see more fulfilling creations…
artists…
i haven’t seen a fae in months now!
i look forward to reconnecting with them.
> Are you a Bottom or a Top or an equal opportunity lover?
my natural energy keeps me pretty much a Top
as it where
i am quite active
yet if someone matches me in my energy
i like to be rolled on my back
but it is difficult for me to just OPEN up…
i find that is very important in balancing my female side
but only want to really be a bottom with people i trust
getting INSIDE me
so i am taking it slow
any good teachers out there?
and i am not an equal oppurtunity lover, unfortunately
i used to have sex with EVERYONE
boys, men, girls…
but i stopped haveing sex with girls quite a while ago
boys too
not i am pretty focused on a TYPE
: older furry men of size and strength
which someone frustrates me
because when i meet beautiful people with other bodies
i just have no interest going to a sexual level with them anymore
i hope this phase will pass
but i am doing what i can to learn from why my desire leads me this way
being true to it…
> and how did you know?
and how did i know…
just life…
i know nothing.
> Aside from dick what else do you eat? are you a vegan?
i eat everything and anything.
i like being open to experience new things
as i said
i have learned that some things just don’t turn me on
so after a few times
i will ususally gracefully decline
if i can
however… i did eat raw liver from a still steaming body of a lamb
last year…
> Do you pay homage to, the goddess, the god, the spirits, the sciences
> or
> just yourself?
JUST myself?
well, all gods.
i treat gods(esses) as my friends.
everyone i meet i greet as a god
regaurdless if they think themselves of it or not.
i often thank manifestions as they come up and i am aware of them
as the earth and other gods working with my own energy
and sometime i do my best to just get out of the way and let other
spirits use me
trying is the problem…
i used to be very connected to many sciences and philosophies
so still access that reality at times
generally, i do my best to keep my reality flexible
appreciating all that i can.
> So tell us something about the virtues of Hair.you’ve got it all
> over.
Feels So GOOD.
to have
to be rubbed against
to raise on end when excited
to hold scent in
to get caught in the teeth!
and it’s the best organic recording device i have found.
> Would you like eurofaerie newsletter readers to see any links you
> prefer
> of you or other things and guys/gals?
Hmmm.
see here
http://www.geocities.com/memorabilia23
that is my current self-votex on line
i will update it as that progresses.
> Your now doing perhaps the chicest thing on MTV these days by being
> the
> nomad, whats that about? was the usa also a place of journey?
yeah, i have always been a trend setter… MTV is always copying me.
in fact, i was shocked that people have been treating me like i am rich
and cool here in europe… where in america they treated me mostly like
i was poor and not something to look at ( i am talking about in city
society)
a friend in Zuerich told me i am following understated fashion trends
who knew?
i did not really choose much of what i am
it is just the only way i can live and not be miserable all the time.
i like looking strange to get people’s attention
i like living my dreams and desires… i like setting a good
example…as best i can.
i left indiana at 17 went to England
quickly quit school an started travelling because the trains were so
good and i wanted to SEE It
upon returning to america
i realized i hadn’t seen any of it
so decided to travel for a year
as is my pattern
all my plans fell through
and i have just been travelling since.
yes, america is a big part of the journey
i am glad i have got to see so much there
and now.. i am learning about europe
i know not what next
it is just my life.
> What question would you like to be asked? ask it and send me the
> answer.
i think you have asked plenty, mister
and i have answered plenty…
there will be plenty more..
>
>
> Kisses and Hisses from Berlin,
> Cococpierre
> PS aside from this eMail address and your nomadic existance this is
> the
> only real working address for you?
>
Yep.
>
>
> =====
>
>
feel free to edit this as you need to
send me a copy so i can see what it turned out as
thanks
it was fun thinking about these things you asked
blessings
…dominic
…vine