Today
i’ve renamed my journal from “waltzingtree” (which was a random name i chose before i knew how LJ worked)
to dominicvine to be consistent with the rest of my on-line monikers
and now, when i meet people, they don’t have to say “Oh, you’re Waltzingtree!”
they can use use my name.
Hello.
“The time of heroes is dead: the christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs and fear and shame.”
someone recently told me that Neil Gaiman had written the screen play for this movie…
i’d seen plenty of adverts for it in the subways
and it looked just like a video game… i wasn’t interested
but hearing Gaiman was involved
i felt obligated
so yesterday Jorge and i went along…
i was quite impressed
all i ask for from a movie is that it inspires thought and feeling in me that further my life
it was entertaining
sexy
disorienting (watching an entirely CGI movie always is… and i didn’t know this was one before i went to see it)
i LOVE Ray Winstone… so that was nice… even though he was transformed into a muscle hunk… he was still hot
(how they transformed the bodies of the actors through age and size was pretty amazing… mmmm, Wiglaf)
what i liked most
were little quotes like the one up top
where Gaiman and Avery (Co-writer and of Pulp Fiction, Killing Zoe, True Romance, et al) stick it to modern culture
and present us with so many other little turns about the nature of the choices we make…
but how do they relate to our world of the here and now?
the biggest curiosity for me i still haven’t put my fingers around
so i’d like to see it again..
Actually
i’d like to see it again because i’ve heard they also show it in 3D
and i’ve not seen a 3D movie in years
and know this would be a lot of fun
Anyone want to go with me sometime soon?
it’s showing at Union Square…
out of everyone’s eyes is the Grand Organization
what you see is what you know: clearly manifest
whatever understandings you have
judgments you decree
the world conforms
your world
as you perceive it
and what a wonderful world
the jigsaw falls into place
it some how all fits together and keeps going
there’s space for the apples to grow in your orchard
there’s room for you apocalypse
just around the corner
it will not be too late for you to get mugged by that dark-skinned baddie up the block
and every lover leave you loveless
or potentially be your soulmate
i know you’ll find a way to be famous
and everyone will know your name
tomorrow will not be too late
for your millions to come rolling in
so you can buy the restaurant
on a night you don’t want to deal with any chatter going on around you
it can all happen
there’s time enough for love
and hope enough for tragedy
make your wishes
dream your dream
commit to your life with each breath
and each cloud of exhalate seals your fate
i know this
once
i could touch it with my tongue
i had such dreams…
now i’m not better or worse
just another confused soul
blocks falling out of the sky
to make up the puzzle
stage hands shoving me on stages
when i’ve forgot the plot
as good as any other
bright spots
dark spots
she asked me tonight
if i had intentions to get enlightened
and talked about all the ways
i said i’d been working for nearly ten years purifying my intentions
not to get enlightened
but to Be enlightened
i know what it looks like
i’ve felt it
lo siento
i just can’t stay there…
but if i could
i wouldn’t cast so many damn shadows on every one i meet
i’d see clearly what each thought did to everything around me
and i could instantly turn the ugly into beautiful
i don’t want to be just another obstacle in front of a star
i want to be one myself
shining light out into the night
right
is that my intention?
let me look through my pockets and see if there was anything else i forgot
one sec…
layers of new york city

if only we could paint over everything… if only it would just stay…
… not to nag
but i just wanted to point something out to you
when you hold judgments about people
especially people you love
it does nothing good for them
it actually Harms them
so harboring the beliefs that your father is a callus, unfeeling asshole
or that your lover is old and weak
even if, in a sort, of jest
helps them fulfill that judgement you pass on them
in fact, Asks them to
Worrying, judging
IS a form of loving
but this is where the term “praying”is useful
instead of saying
“my dad is such a prick!”
“i love him but he’s going to die a the rate he’s going”
sit for a moment
every night
or every time you catch yourself passing judgment
and wish them well
bless them with strength to surmount their challenges
for we all have shit we need to deal with
(variation on a note written to a friend)
I met up with Jorge today to see the film “Into the wild”
it was, in part, an acid trip for me
like those i always have
correlating all experiences into metaphors
parables
anyway
i’ve done all that before
and can only say i’m grateful for having come to this conclusion
before committing to my own death
so happy now to have a friend i can share my happiness with
love, so they call it
better fitting than any other old shoe this old sock has been in…
so
with that happiness
comes the light
and even last night i felt the edge of immense responsibilty sharpening again
every action = the fate of the nation (which is now the whole world, which always has been..)
now
no longer solipsistic
more refractory
still
just as important
aye, i guess i’m admitting to it
— i’ve re-entered the building
how’s the game going?
another good quote from the film:
“when you forgive… you love.
When you Love, God’s light shines upon you”
(clouds part)
.
.
.
Generally
people use the term “disillusioned” in a negative context
“i used to really love him, but after i saw how he behaved at that party i’m completely disillusioned and gave him back his varsity jacket”
or
“i really thought Bush was going to get in there and liberate those terrible muslims so we could get cheaper oil… but at about year 5 in the war i became disillusioned with the whole thing… do you think our next president will be able to secure the health and welfare of my Hummer?”
however, most people use many words incorrectly
When someone is disillusioned of you
it is a good thing
because they weren’t seeing you
they were seeing a fantasy
and they were believing that fantasy
and living with it
when they become disillusioned
something has happened that has broken that fantasy
it’s nice to believe that you had something to do with this occurrence
however
many illusioned people will never really see you anyway
so who knows if you did or not?
it’s nice to believe that that person now sees you for who you really are
past their illusions
to the truth of your being
but that is also hopeful
still
the point i am making is
if someone tells you they are disillusioned of/with you
do not be saddened nor disappointed
sure, it might suck that a game you’ve been playing has come to an end
and you may have to face something you’ve been able to get away with or slide by
on account of an apparition guarding you from sight
but on the bright side
you don’t have to play that role, which wasn’t you anyway, anymore
and you can relax a bit
and be closer to being yourself
in fact
with others become disillusioned about you
it gives you a chance to be less illusioned with yourself as well
and more in integrity
*clink*
here’s for good luck in our next attempt!


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