From: afw10@columbia.edu
Subject: A lack; space; a delusion
Date: November 2, 1998 2:40:49 PM EST
To: horsestorideon@hotmail.com
Cc: exit2k@hotmail.com, mrvisible@worldnet.att.net, sejohnst@midway.uchicago.edu, shorning@willamette.edu, and 4 more…
reply why not–bored at “(Wor(?)k:
and love, o love and love
and fucking and fucking and fucking
loneliness
obsession
no thoughts from me (hee) missing past cherryiats; rather agitated
stumble to where—there some place building warmth no duty possibly; but
rather rancid stench of ittie bittie poochie turds built up by rising
gentry rising fast up to even this height of man-hat isle: and putrid,
with riverside steeple a-shining—-must turn back
fuck place: prefer the tremors and ensuing (but aka ‘known’)
depression: back to the trusty couch where free to twitch moan jump
and scream
stare dep into the spoon’s eye:
—–do i think i completely rinsed the bastard
veins bursting with air
enter darkness trauma:
drunken serbians tumbling around
haunted by alternative endings for oscar awarded shit
k’tonka, k’tonka:
they felt the punctures repurcussing
k’tonka
k’tonka
streams of deadened bufalo
streams of post-haste shit
and cum that can’t believe to leave
rises again
o but that love and fucking and loneliness and obsession
but it will still be thought of now and now andnownownownownownow
but you know that whole line—-can’t think to avoid it
the dreams, but i am not yet asleep
but this night finally:first dream
the elevator;theprojects;7th&D
that first sweet spoonful straight off train skip down escalator jump into
restroom pop and rekindled
o i loved her and him and you:
but now