a brief appearance

just a cup of tea
i couldn’t help it
i was so exhausted from walking around the peak
we sat down to watch “The Wicker Man”
which, amazingly, i’d never seen..
(and oddly enough, last night i saw it on a shelf in the house i was in… and wanted to watch it but neither of them would… while Lesley, across town decided to watch it herself)
i found the film exciting
not even cheesy, really
i just didn’t pay attention to that
it turned me on
filled me with a bit of hope
i’m crazy in that way.
— why is there no Mr. Punch in the Faeries?
anyway
i showed Lesley and Steve a bunch of videos
south park ( i’d just downloaded the “Scott Tenorman Must Die” episode and was quiet impressed…. it furthered me along in my happiness of . . . )
space ghost
warp vidoes… other music..
exciting
it’s so good to have a friend to talk to
be excited with
caffiene
it’s a funny thing
just one cup
around eight 30
and damn
i’m still up at 5 am
so many CDs to rip
amazing music: Matmos and a million Bjork things i didn’t know about
plus a million others, really
i’m giving back by burning some stuff for her
but shouldn’t i be sleeping?
well yes
well but
i got a nudge a few days ago
and this won’t really suffice
but it’s just me popping my head up to say hello.
i’m in England right now
Sheffield
and i LOVE the accent
… Javis was always putting it on in his funny way
Lesley’s boy friend has a sweet voice
but the of the two bears i cuddled with yesterday
the Native of here just had the sweetest voice
even when he was bitching about stuff
the lilt, the turn
i just wanted to bathe in him talking with me
i didn’t go to sleep til 5 last night either
and sure
there was a bit of tussle
but it was mostly cuddling
and listening to him talk to me
(after watching BOTH versions of The Producers)
just cuddling
stroking
feeling the thick curly furr on his thick burly body
listening to ” YOUR FAULT / Last Midnight ” then Medulla on the bus back to the house
then Steve took Les and i out to the Peak District to hike around
the Heather in full bloom
huge swaths of purple across the fells… the moors…
i’m in england
i’m really in england this time
my mouth makes the shapes
— i’m not trying to mock them
but seeing the word “Hope” written
and he says ” hooep ”
i just had to try and repeat that
say it
just to see what it feels like
i was doing that in germany, in switzerland
i’ve been doing that my whole life
just say it
to see what it feels like..
i ate 30 black berries this morning
no water or food to start the day
just walking with the bears and their dog
stopping every ten feet for fresh blackberries
how come i’m the only one eating?
thinking about how i have so much i’d like to write about
and how sad i am that i won’t get it all written before i get back to the US
and when i’m back in the US
my mind will crash in with war
and endless sadness
well i’ve got that here
i’ve got that everywhere
will the thousands of pictures i’ve taken be enough to remind me of all the things i’ve thought and felt and experienced
and not written down?
i’m sorry dominic
i’m sorry vine
i’m sorry folks back home
i really meant to write it all down
but it’s summer
and i got all caught up with living
.. i forgot for a while.
so
i love you
i’ll post pictures from my mountain top in california or tennessee or new york
maybe even michigan if i can do it that soon
i feel exstatic and happy right now
being with all of you again for a moment
but i’ll be tired tomorrow
taking the bus up to Edinburgh
seeing radiohead again the night after
and Mr Mole
and what else?
something wonderful
something challenging
i’ll tell you about it
i promise
meanwhile
enjoy the summer.