i keep noticing it
but i think i just understood it
perhaps there’s just a higher water pressure everywhere in europe?
— i feel more foreign than i ever have before..
is that how i’m getting older?
or how i’m degrading?
how surprising
that it’s taken me over a month to realize what was going in
every time i turn on a faucet or shower here
it sprays all over the place
by “here”
i noticed this when i first arrived in britain…
i hadn’t really noticed it before that…
i even asked yakov about it
but in his typical way
he gave a completely off base explination of it:
blame it on the british: they’re terrible plumbers
but he’d lived with this his whole life!
then… hadn’t he?
what’s the deal?
why is the water pressure so high?
too high?
after a few weeks
i realized i could turn on the sink
without turning it on all the way
Full-Blast, that is.
it’s really as simple as that
i noticed in my shower tonight
— it doesn’t have to be all the way
necessarily
all the time
to the extreme
maybe i am conditioned to what i’m looking for never being enough
like the terrible water pressure i had in NYC
i had
not everyone…
—
i used to be able to hear accents and words properly
i used to easily be able to imitate them
even words i couldn’t understand
i could repeat
now my mouth is frozen.
everything seems a mystery
this is the first time in any of my travels i’ve been
“well, i wish it were like it was back there”
instead of just being awed and excited by the different way things are…
is this “aging”?
is this a saturn opposition?
or is my DNA being polluted?
how do i rectify this?
golly
it sure would be nice if i spent a few hours every morning meditating and tuning my reality to what i preferred it to be with my consciousness
and spending a few hours every evening relating my experiences and understandings.
golly.