i just wrote this out for a friend and want to share it here as well
love you!
self loving meditation
i was thinking about something to help you sleep
when i woke this morning i started my usual morning meditations (which i’ve been doing for about two years)
before i even open my eyes
i just lay and feel my body
notice any pleasure and pain
and do my best to just hear it, feel it. be present with it
then i cultivate the taoist virtuous emotions
they have a whole system behind them
and they go in an order
but the gist is this:
⁃ Gratitude, self love, happiness
⁃ safety, openness, trust: “the universe is undoubtedly unfolding as it should”
⁃ courage to do what needs to be done, feeling alignment with what is Good
⁃ inner peace, in silence and stillness
⁃ kindness, generosity, compassion
now, these may sound like a lot
but they flow nicely into each other
and when you practice for a while, it becomes easy
it’s important to understand they aren’t words
they are feelings, emotions
so, for gratitude, how i start, i usually just think “i’m thankful for what i have now. i’m thankful to wake up in this safe bed, i’m grateful for the people in my life. . . ”etc. . .
simple
when i start to feel the actual feeling of gratitude
i tend to drop the words and surf the emotions more
using words only when i need them to trigger Feelings.
letting these feelings flow throughout the whole body, suffuse! fill the whole body,
that’s what we want
this can before going to sleep as well
as so many things can be disturbing through the day
and putting yourself in these safe happy feelings will help you sleep better
but there’s more
to help deal with “reality”, as so many people like to say, we can include the rest of life in a loving way
not just what’s happening right here, right now
practice with forgiveness and well-wishing
start with yourself
“i forgive myself” for anything. everything. “anything i’ve done wrong, real or imagined”
say it over and over until you feel it
then
“may i be happy” or whatever words work for you “i deserve to be happy” “i wish happiness for myself” etc. . .
then do it for people that are easier, neutral (unimportant) and difficult
for example
easier people may be family
neutral people may be people you passed at a supermarket or saw on the subway
people you know little about so have little investment or emotional charge with
and difficult people might be. . . people you work with, people who piss you off. people from the news who anger you: may they all be forgiven for what they’ve done, real or imagined. may they all be happy
there is nothing anyone has ever done that makes them undeserving of love
there is nothing you have done to make you undeserving of love
sometimes it’s useful to imagine unconditional love. . . where does it come from? nature? dogs? jesus? god? the sun? the space between the stars?
unconditional love loves all things. . . for no reason. forever. always. no matter what.
love? what does that mean? accepts. sees clearly. is patient with. is compassionate. is forgiving. is supportive. is nourishing. . .
so you can start by tapping into unconditional love
find it
let it resonate in your body
flow through you in all ways
then share it with all these people that come to mind
to the best of your ability
if you find you cannot apply unconditional love, forgiveness and well-wishing to someone
let them go
and return to someone you can
don’t get snarled up in thinking someone is deserving of hatred
just love yourself
and let that emanate to anyone who comes to mind
imagine (and believe) that you are a conduit of love. . . and you will be.
this all sounds like a lot
you can do it for an hour
you can do it for ten minutes
whatever
but to wash yourself in forgiveness and love, happiness and safety, etc. . .
doing this before going to sleep will help you sleep better
doing this as soon as you wake up, before you open your eyes, will start the day off in a very good place
it makes it easier to have a good day from there
it’s not %100
but it’s what we can do
i love you. i’m glad you’re here. i want you to be well and happy.