“i feel the spirit of the world”

/out of synch/

i pretty much hated “dance music” until i came back from england
is that because i became a “hater” and then learned how to stop being a “hater”?

i bought the Underworld CD “dubnobasswithmyheadman” because i’d hear “Dirty Epic” on a Wax Trax sampler and thought it was so super cool…
but the rest of the record was such crap dance music
i hated it

but when i came back from england
i’d got swept up in all their “techno”
and had danced on some boat in some quay to “Born Slippy”
Just Like EveryBody Else

and the whole album opened up to me
and i loved it
as well as the New Order songs i thought were crap
and many others…

point?
point:
i was just listening to it through
while i cleaned the house
made dinner
washing dishes while the last track played
“m.e.”
which i remember thinking was kinda cool, once i finally let myself listen to it
but also pretty cheezy/hippy

later
i fell in love with the song
and it often made me feel like i want to cry

as it did tonight
i’ve been so emotionally raw the last few days

let me tell you: no healing work like the burst of love that breaks open a callused heart.

but this song, “m.e.” and james song “greenpeace”
always brings up the part of me that is desperately in love with the PLANET more than i think i’ll ever be with a human or humanity in general

yesterday, when my heart was so open and raw
i kept listening to and singing the Orbital vocal mix of “Belfast/Wasted”

though the video portrays some drunk old guy in a bar almost passing out through the whole thing
that’s not the “wasted” i think the poetry is referring to
“do you like this dust you breathe?
do you recommend yourself to my gentle senses?
— i feel wasted.”
more along the lines of having such great perceptions, such deep feelings and abilities
and living in a world expecting and aware of about 10%

uh….

always saying i want more
but i can’t have it.

(files hosted in mp3… until someone asks me to take them down or i erase them)