birthday morning dream

i’m just a 14 year old blond haired boy
angela is beautiful
with long blond hair
wavey, surrounding her hair
she’s everywhere.
angela has a husband who’s in his forties and fat (and muscular) and get’s fucked by horses
– there’s a close up of the horse cock going up his butt
and then a side view:
they turn into daggers
wooden and ivory
and overlay eachother…
on a piece of paper in the principal’s office
i see
in hot pink and neon green:
“Angela is a Gay Goddess”
how does that work?
all the kids who make all the decisions are freaks
they’re all gay
or something like it…
the establisment notes them as freaks…
Individuals…
but i’m a Noy…
a normal
just a noy kid
try as i might
the school hates anyone who mention their greatest failure
the corporate sponsorship who let them down…
they’re all rebels now
i go to the bars at night
trying to understand
all the straight people play tarot cards like horse-shoes in garbage cans the size of rooms
i walk in and sort through
trying to recover all the secrets
… later
as the boy i am now
i go out naked, but for my saffron skirt, and walk the plaza in the bronx
where i live now
barefoot and crazy on the sand-concrete
the rich women talk amongst themselves
the golden light pours down
bathing the classical buildings of marble and redstone…
——-
i woke
bridget told me she was leaving
i have to catch up with her at the union square farmer’s market
she told me Dani called ( devanand_tree
said he knew Aresh already…
when i called him
(haven’t talked with him since i’ve been here… reasons…)
he tells me he made websites for Aresh
worked for him since he was 15
small
fucking
world
i’ve gotta go.