quotes

i found these in a message board as someone’s signature
which is a bit too much for every post on a board
but i found myself enjoying reading them over and over again
a good mix of silly and profound
“You work eighteen hours and what do you get? Parents sell ya to Paris Hilton.” – Leopold Stotch
“Mrs. Liddy has an extensive gun collection.” – G. Gordon Liddy
“…But a cow is not entirely full of milk; Some of it is hamburgers!” – Jim the Security Guard
“Of course they want free pie and chips. It’s pie… with chips… for free.” – Gecko
“Some horrible game of twister where it’s all boys and they kill you when you lose” – Deputy Travis Junior
“A government exists when it has a reasonable monopoly on the legitimate use of violence” – George Will
“You tell him, Ferret face” – Group of Koreans
“No, not my type. You know, I like ’em a little… a… I don’t know, a kinda dirty or something” – Vincent ‘Vinnie’ Antonelli
“Yes, it’s true you are a good woman… then again, you may be the anti-Christ.” – Doc Holliday
“It’s like making love — you don’t **** to a metronome.” – Tori Amos
“A woman’s dress should be like a barbed wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.” – Sophia Loren
“You never open your mouth until you know what the shot is.” – Ricky Roma
“There are shadows in life babe” – Jack Horner
“But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity” – WKRP
“The noose is the end of the line. It will take the violence-prone off the streets and incarcerate them for terms appropriate to their crimes” – Judge Issac Parker
“I am not Herbert” – Mr. Spock
“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read PRESIDENT CAN’T SWIM.” – Lyndon Johnson
“Looks like you’re about to get pwned” – Eric Cartman
“The personal insult is the last recourse of an exhausted mind” – Pat Buchanan
“Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.” – Thomas Jefferson