solitaire

Yeah
i’ve been having trouble winning games
it’s just not as easy…
flowing
like it should be.
i keep getting the cards i want
after it’s too late
can only turn that deck over so many times.
Here at the house where Dani came when he was 15
maybe we’d be friends
if i’d played my cards right
he’d be here hanging out with me
here in New York City
if only before i’d played the cards that played out my relationship with Eli
somehow shifted the time
to be here before he left.
— i want a lover at my finger tips
a lover of body and soul
mouth and ear
the mind
the heart
i’m turning over the deck
flicking through the cards
and they just aren’t what i need.
— s’alright
there’s always something beautiful (and un-related) commin’ round the corner…
Off to Peru in November, yeah
San Francisco in August
with the wind
India in August?
India in December?
Istanbul?
Indiana?
— i was telling him about how i have to have faith
have to
it’s what i got…
he said i’ve got amazing confidance
says i talk it true
from my heart
found a world view that works for me
Yeah, yeah it’s true
yeah
but i’ve got my doubts…