33.11

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I’ve been staring at the moon

just watched a movie called "Beginners"
after getting an astrology reading
telling me my life will most likely be what it’s been from now to twice its time
more sagas of travel
adventure
struggle and help

no clear one-love/one-career

restless soul
a late bloomer gifted with impatience

offers of porn
and endless mysticism
"either a monk or a hedonist"
after saying I had the chart of a monk
and discussing how I don’t feel I can worship anything honestly
and how many lives I’ve been a monk
but the teacher appears when the student is ready
and I just gotta wait
keep living
everything will be different next year
but no peace for a long while yet

I want to make a shirt that says
" Ascetic Hedonist " on the front
and the reverse on the back

I had to doctor this image to tone down my sweet tooth
but the rest I took later in the day
after all these experiences
and the weight is on me now

I spoke with a friend and strangled on my emotions
I watched the sky this dusk
and wanted to jump in

iyam wat iyam
there are far worse fates

I’m in transformation
yes, station-to-station
just to do the work
to carve the block
and set him free