meh
i was going to garden again
i got all prepared for the flies
meh
then the lawn maintenance men showed up
spraying chemicals everywhere
i harvested some lambsquaters
loaded up the wheelbarrow with land soil and campost soil
brought it up to the house
we made eggs and greens
we watched an episode of Sweet Tooth
i get it, why my friend cried
i cried a bit too
then we planted the tomatoes in the big pots out back
then…
then.. the…
then…
well…
my feet were burning from the chemicals on the lawn
barefoot
even though i only stepped on a little of the lawn
i felt it
so i showered
scrubbed
but still
they were tingling
i hated thinking i would get neuropathy from this stupid lawn vanity shit
so i soaked my feet in epsomsalt water
while watching coinbase infomercials they paid me to watch
ok
then talked with a friend i know from Buddhism-world
also a techie
nice conversation
across the ether…
i eventually sat down to have more computer troubles
seemingly insurmountable blah blah Mercury retrograde
then i transcribed for an hour
ok
someone invited me over to his house
for
whatever reason
people
it’s hard to be people around each other
we played with our VR helmets together
he showed me his cryptocurrency mining rigs
farming
mining
whatever
it was ok
it was what it was
not what really nourishes me
what really nourishes me?
it has something to do with a feeling of kinship
it has something to do with a feeling of peace
mutual understanding
the guy i’d talked with on the phone earlier in the day
pieces of his conversation came back to me
the idea
he was staying with his daughter
helping her recover from an accident
and she’s an adult
but when she would fall asleep
he said it was like he was given a sleeping pill
he was pass out
and sleep so well
the magic of family
he doesn’t believe in magic
only matter and science
i believe in “magic” and multiple dimensions
i thought of
how often i’ve found
asking my mom how she slept
and she says “i couldn’t go to sleep til two…”
and i didn’t go to sleep til too
it’s nice to feel that connection
terrible to feel i may be responsible for her not sleeping well
other resonance
how are we all connected?
the great sea of emotions we all swim in
mom was still awake when i got home
i ate some of the chicken she made
showered again
brushed teeth
rinsed mouth
played some VR
then wrote this
enough for now
that’s all for today
thanks.