i've not been sleeping much the last few weeks... or sleeping well. mostly going to sleep very late at night/early in the morning... the brain all spun up "posting" things... then looking at replies... then... spinning in neutral, just like the good old days, so playing games or reading things into the wee hours. last night i could not pull myself away from the screen... that strange intrinsic need... "there is something i need to get from here, something i need to do..." no rest came until after 5:30am... so when i woke four hours later.. i felt like my body was a burnt, dried out husk... before i opened my eyes, i heard rain out the window, i started connecting with resources... what... this going to sleep so late at night, this sleeping so little is making me Yin Deficient... so i connected with Kan, the great immeasurable lake of potential... somewhere at the bottom of everything, behind all things, under neath, beside of, inside of... potential. the essence of Yin... i remembered a practice, so put my attention in my testicles and connected with Yin there and pulled UP! ... i wasn't sure if i was just draining my sexual energy... though i'm sure that would be fine, i've been masturbating daily as well for many weeks (as i had sometime in the night before i went to sleep)... mercury retrograde or so near the solstice, i'm not sure... but i'm back in the habit of that... anyway, the sensation of pulling the energy through the testicles and up into the rest of the body was very powerful. quite a "high". i felt it lubricating and nourishing what felt so dry and dusty before... so grateful. after doing this for a while, i started cycling through the elements... then manipulating the energy in other ways... and as my brain got recharged the "teaching" voice started blathering ... and i rolled out of bed, drank some water, and set up the iPad to record a video. 40 minutes. good little practice. teaching and more nourishing of self. good to share. this morning i've driven my father to pick up one of his vehicles and he's headed off to Alaska i went out to the garden to harvest the rest of the Chamomile and some more snap peas then ate some radish greens with eggs and chicken... then some brussle sprout salad now i'm going to rest a bit then head down south to see some water falls i haven't been to for many years then spend the night with a stranger in the forest i may not post again tonight see if there is a signal don't know but that's the message for today