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wait

then find something useful to do
when appointments
let down

active
be active
scrape up the feeling of obligation
surf that artificial motivation

alien with friends
as are they are
go for a walk
feel the trees greet you
the air here
moist and cool
the wood chi tendrils brushing the skin and hair
and walk
walk
you know the way
through this deep dark forest
through this beautiful park
its wild animals
histories
and shadows
these people are your people
these views are your kingdom
we’re all here together
we know the way
and forgive our tragedies
feel grateful for our quiet depression
over the tales of passionate
dramatic
and destructive ones

hear from friends
even reach out to some
receiving manic bliss
ebbing life wanness
and reveling in the failures of past friends

I told him
one of the reasons I’m isolating myself
is
I’m being a real bitch
so I’m keeping to myself
keeping my hands busy
and urging them to move to actions of creation
over killing time
or spreading discord

but I do not have control
only sway. . .