32.7

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yay
let’s go down town
for some reason that didn’t happen
but make it to have lunch with your friend
(picture taken in the crazy WCs at BAR68)
Have a Burger.
(I’ve hardlybeen eating anything for days, just vegan curry, fruit and
herbal tea)
want a new iPhone
(that is what they’re for… wanting. at least I use mine all the time)
then went to the Chelsea Hotel to copy some files and hang with a friend
and cough
exhausted
I left after not too long
some smuck druggie hits me up in the lift trying to tell me he’s an
artist manager, I’m an artist, right?
then tries to buy drugs from me
and I’m too tired for this shit

some nightmares on the street today
guy with huge scar across his forehead like his brain has been cut into
listening to his iPod
some old man packing his beautiful briar pipe
but his skin looks like curddled milk
and he’s shuffle-stepping slow as a turtle

I was studying some Vedic Astrology this morning
one of the tags on the website was
"When you love everyone unconditionally
You are enlightened"
and, of course, I’m a judgemental bastard
calling people "nightmares"
complaining about people who "love" me
living me only in a useless way
like a
stand there and stare in adoration kinda love
instead of opening the door for me
or giving me a back rub
right, shouldn’t my wife be my slave?
oh, sordid corrupt history of my species… how do we clean out all
the ingrained bullshit?
will I ever love?
not today

I got home
taking Colostrum
coz maybe I need to be more of a baby
I’m so tired of fucking coughing
I rinsed off
lay in bed
and played a singing bowl on my chest
which felt amazing
but I was tired and just wanted to receive
so posted an ad on CL asking for a healer or at least someone who knew
how to use a bowl to come over and ring it on my chest for a hour

of course not
but why not try?

I watched the 1970’s "Horton Hears a Who" coz I never had
and it made me cry
so obviously about so many things
but thinking of the factory workers in China who have been killing
themselves lately (to make our computers! that factory! for this!)
the obvious references to middle American fear of difference
plus fear of being aware of the countries we’re abusing
plus fear of witnessing pleople elevating the people we try to make
invisible to Person status
so much persecution
it was kinda terrifying
"We Are Here!"
stuck in the clouds
(til something from the new generation bursts through… so many cloud
layers to get through…)

or I’m just really sensitive right now.

I thought to take a nap afterwards
maybe 7pm is too late for napping
I woke to a phone call at 0:16 from Leo
talked with him for nearly an hour
now…

can I sleep again or should I watch a movie?
ahhh well, we’ll see

.iP