so much rain. rain rain rain. i’m posting anyway. habits. i have a lot of time in my tent. my tent is dry (ish, damp) inside.. but i’m in a puddle. run-off. the river in the holler is flowing strong. i spent an hour digging trenches with a hoe today. . . it kinda helped. the first picture is after the trenches, but during the rain. the other pictures are before the trenches. i should have just moved my tent. . . but so many stakes!!! and hey, it’s not leaking. . . the car is though, that’s worrying. down through the light switch panel. wtf? ah well. . . the day was pretty pleasant. lots of petting big men. huuu. bears. lots of boiling in the hot tub. cooling in the big pool. i’ll try and sleep now. last night i went to sleep at this time. . . but woke at 3:30 to a downpour. . . didn’t sleep again til 5:30…. woke again at 11! my neighbor Nick didn’t fare so well: everything got soaked in his tent. he’s dried it out now and it set up better. he’s been cooking for us. he’s sweet. nice fella. goodnight.
43.43 somebody’s birthday i was invited, over a month ago, by my friend Nick, from Louisville, to come to the gay campground this weekend for a bear weekend. i felt like shaving my head and decided to play with my facial hair. . . which i don’t do often, so i gave my self the warlock Van Dyke . . . it’s ok. i’ll shave it off next week. shave shave shave. some day i’ll just stop shaving again. my hair will grow a little bit every day. . . meh. . . it’s nice seeing Nick. we set up our tents at the end of the ridge. . . walking up to the pools, i saw a black rat snake. . . it didn’t flee very much so i picked her up. . . she bit me, but just a little. i held her for a while, i used to have a pet of this type snake. . . i wanted to throw her over my shoulders. . . but just held her for a while and let her go. many people fear snakes; i take them as a blessing. i spent a few hours chatting with people and shifting from the hot tub to the pool to cool. . . back at the tent, Nick told me he watched the snake climb the chair next door… he made a nice dinner on an electric griddle. some neighbors told us it was their birthday and invited us for brownies. . . i told them it was my birthday too! the last day of my 43 day birthday this year. so i ate some brownie: first processed sugar thing i’ve had since coming off the fast. i took it ritualistically. thanks! the torrential rains swept through. as they’ve been doing. . . back at our tent site we realized we set up our tents in a drainage basin on the ridge. . . . . . my tent is new. it’s dry inside, but the floor is like a waterbed, swollen and jiggly. the tent is entirely surrounded by water. Nick’s tent is soaked. ahhh. so it goes. i hope we sleep well tonight and have fun tomorrow. i have some good hugs today. one good kiss. and nice talks with guys from Milwaukee. . . what an accent! Ah, America! i’m gonna take a break from posting for a while now. let me know if there’s anything you want to see or hear me talk about. love ya. ...dominic
43.42 - i didn’t sleep well last night. looks like i’m on track for that again today. i woke in a bad mood this morning: looked at the phone too much. . . eventually getting out of bed and staggering down stairs feeling awful. eventually, mindfulness returned and i remembered to choose to feel at peace and happy. meanwhile, i doctored a potion for my mom (she was pleased with the results). then made “protein bars”. ate an orange, banana. . . drank lots of water. . . finished off my vegetable soup, had some more curry. . . then ate some chinese food with my mom. mmmmmm, eating. i really craved sugar: had berries. watched Silence of the Lambs tonight. just spent two hours reading about it. people are crazy.
43.41 - slept well. woke and gardened for many hours. torrential downpour after. ate some chicken accidentally in the soup my mother prepared for me last night. had a few bites of sausage this morning. talked with J for many hours. made Kitchari. lay in the sun. spent time with Ram Dass. ate curry. lay in my hammock the first time this summer. watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. . . feel a bit bad for hurting someone’s feelings, but he doesn’t have the ability to know better, so it had to be done to not exploit myself. ah, so it goes. sleep well.
43.39 - breaking fast - yesterday i just had fresh squeezed orange juice with some of my lemon maple syrup mixture. . . and lots of water. i lay in bed most of the day talking to people, playing video games, arranging my winter plans (in mexico) and pleasuring myself. but mostly being quiet. . . and writing. today i went to church with my parents. i woke at 5 from bad dreams. only four hours sleep. couldn’t go back into sleep, so got up and meditated for the longest i’ve meditated in a long time. my father invited me to church last night and i’ve only gone with them once this year, so i made sure to do it. i mostly meditated through it, but caught words “turn this heart of stone into a heart of love alone” was a good bit. . . and i liked how the priests asked us if any of us think we are prophets. . . aye aye captain. . . i mostly did metta practice and then dissolved into all. . . and when i was thinking i did one of my favorite games of trying to translate the beliefs i have about “reality” into “christian” speak, and dominant paradigm lingo. i made more orange juice when we got home. put a dash of my house made kombucha in it . . . and half a scoop of plant based protein powder. . . but it really wasn’t satiating me. i was getting a headache, probably from sleep deprivation . . . so i went to the garden and harvested a ton of kale. . . so grateful: last year our kale was decimated by bugs. . . maybe the nasturtiums are keeping them away this year? i hear an owl hooting. . . how nice! it felt so good. i got tons of kale. . . and a huge turnip. . . i made a soup with kale and turnip greens from the garden then lots of ginger turnip parsnip sweet potato celery root carrot beet brussel sprouts yellow summer squash brown rice mung beans fenugreek seed some chamomile flowers and then miso at the end delicious! especially for the first food i’ve eaten in over two weeks! the first bowl was mostly broth. . . with some dark miso and a few chunks of veggies: well boiled. i had a second one later. . . lovely. and now i’m preparing for sleep. love you sleep well
43.38 - first day coming off the fast, drinking fresh squeezed orange juice. also a New Moon day. have spent most of the day in bed talking on the “phone”, planning trips, writing stories, and just enjoying alone time. i hope you’re having a good weekend taking care of yourself.
43.36 – when i went to my outside bed last night. . . i was so happy with the warm still air. . . enjoying seeing jupiter in the sky. . . and when i lay down. . . melted into the night sounds. . . this morning i eas equally grateful and enjoyed the dawn chorus and trees. . . the day turned busy and very rainy. . . i took a nap and woke up feeling out of sorts. . . but went to visit the family in the park, which was nice, if slightly awkward. . . but we do what we can. i’d made popsicles of my fasting lemonade to share with the kids. . . good fun. . . and then we left.
43.35 - glorious. . . i love being in the rain. . . i got extra time on my drive to babysit i miei nipoti . . . so i wanted to photograph pretty things, stopped a few times. . . it started to rain. . . ligjt at first: i love being out in the rain! . . . then it increased. got to pet the horses. . . ans saw a rainbow. . . un arcobaleno. . . so it was a success. love you. may you see clearly your actions and find peace to live with an open heart to all beings.
i spent six hours juicing the plethora of excess limes and lemons i bought for my fast. . . put most of it in ice cube trays for refreshing summer beverages. . . i also made some of the lemonade i drink for the fast and put it in popsicle molds my mom filled with Kool-Aide for us as kids… i felt such childish joy seeing them in the closet when i looked for the ice cube trays, i had to use them… the flowers i took last night: my mother said “ you must see these “ - but it was nearly night. . . flash fotos of flowers. . . i read the Desiderata tonight because i referenced it in a conversation i had this evening. that’s my day. i forgot to photograph it. i learned yesterday that italians find the repetitions of similar sounds at the end of words right next to each other “ugly”. . . i had been thinking it would be preferred. . . like “da qua” . . . theyvwould prefer “da qui” . . . learn something new every. . . what did you learn today?
Desiderata GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. By Max Ehrmann © 1927 Original text from: Desiderata Original Text
43.33 - over a week of fasting and i don’t feel like i’ve lost much weight. . . i definitely feel lighter though. . . i like the emptiness, what i always liked about fasting. . . the simplicity: no choices, just simple nourishment. low energy, ish. . . but mostly feel pretty good. enjoyed this time alone. going back to zionsville tonight. bye dogs. . . back to my garden. . . will it be harder not to eat in the house full of miraculous costco snacks and the summer garden. . . and eggs? /// and excerpts from today’s transcription: “Help me quiet my mind, Quiet my desires. Make me useful. Help me to see the same divinity in all creation. Remove all hatred from my Heart” (write in the ⁋ from page 38 “The person practicing svadhyaya. . . “) [“ The person practicing svādhyāya reads his own book of life, at the same time that he writes and revises it. There is a change in his outlook on life. He starts to realize that all creation is meant for bhakti (adoration) rather than for bhoga (enjoyment), that all creation is divine, that there is divinity within himself and that the energy which moves him is the same that moves the entire universe. (skipping one paragraph, the next is: ) To make life healthy, happy and peaceful, it is essential to study regularly divine literature in a pure place. This study of the sacred books of the world will enable the sādhaka to concentrate upon and solve the difficult problems of life when they arise. It will put an end to ignorance and bring knowledge. Ignorance has no beginning, but it has an end. There is a beginning but no end to knowledge. By svādhyāya the sādhaka understands the nature of his soul and gains communion with the divine. The sacred books of the world are for all to read. They are not meant for the members of one particular faith alone. As bees savour the nectar in various flowers, so the sādhaka absorbs things in other faiths which will enable him to appreciate his own faith better. Philology is not a language but the science of languages, the study of which will enable the student to learn his own language better. Similarly, Yoga is not a religion by itself. It is the science of religions, the study of which will enable a sādhaka the better to appreciate his own faith. - BKS Iyengar, Light on Yoga “]
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