Day: June 22, 2021

i forgot to set my alarm this morning 
and slept in til ten
which was plenty of time to prepare for my client at 12:30

i had two clients scheduled when i woke up this morning
two others asked for sessions
i took one more
had one yesterday too
getting a massage (as a birthday gift) tomorrow

all three clients today were new to me

yesterday’s said “ok, this is officially the best massage i’ve ever had”
midway through the session

both he
and my first today
i was their first “gay” massage
the guy today was 65 and had only had two massages before me
both on cruises

i really aim to bring love and care to my sessions
but also education
and
simply
pleasure

all
that
i don’t shy away from pain either
but do my best to keep pain on the side of pleasure

yesterday’s client was someone i cruised years ago 
handed him my card in passing
- this was our first meeting
and after the massage was finished
we laid in bed cuddling
and listened to the entirety of 
Fear Of Music
(am i repeating myself? it was awesome)

today i got to teach so much
teach taoism 
sciattic stretches
testicle self-massage
the energetic fundamentals of love-making
the history of gay culture vs hemophilia in mediterranean cultures
astrological ego positionings
and secondary progressions
with each of them i felt an immediate “old friend affection”

i described the process of generating that to one of them
but i have such inertia
i was able to see, feel, appreciate it happening automatically 
especially with the last one

however
i know it’s not healthy for me to give three a day
(but it had been a week since my last session, and i plan to take next week off)

 the last half hour of the third 
my hands started to hurt
and i felt my energy bottoming out

my whole body was sore by the time i got home 

9 hours of detailed attention giving 
heavy body moving 
subtle energy channeling
breaking up binding
plowing through tension

i’m so grateful
after a year of almost no massage
so grateful for the work
the money
the intimacy
the appreciation 
the beauty: bodies
still amazed at Bodies

and now i’m so grateful i can go to sleep

i wish i could massage everyone
love you
sleep well