two weeks after getting here i had an ear infection
first time as an adult
as it was coming on
i was in denial
i thought it would just take care of itself
so when the fever kicked in
lymph nodes and eustachian tubes thick like peanut butter
i was writhing in agony
stagnating in pain and misery
my body felt completely defeated
⁃ in this state
the waves were Too Loud for me
(after two days of this shit, i read recommended cures on line, bought some ear drops, started chewing gum all day and spent every moment i could think to be humming,, swallowing, and singing: it was all-clear in three days – gotta keep moving.)
i had already been marveling at the hillside my room is on
looking out, as it is positioned, over the entire beach
all of the sounds, even from the other end, come rolling over the sea and right up the hill into my room
the thump-thumping of the rave-bass was pulsing in my room
almost a mile away
but there was nothing between it and i
the waves roll in very loudly
this beach is hardly ever calm
waves every 5-12 seconds (as i’ve counted them)
so being in the water is a constant challenge
only in the cove of the Playa de Amor
is it sometimes calm long enough to float on my back and relax. . .
(but usually not for more than a few minutes at a time)
after staying here the first week
i started closing my door when i slept
i found that leaving the door open made the waves Too Loud for sleeping
it seemed to always wake me up too early
leaving the window open, but closing the door
i slept more fully
or just adapted. . .
i’ve been waking up at 4 or 5 or, rarely, 6 every morning i’ve been here
something about these long waves rolling up into my room
waves of sound. . .
yesterday
a man who had met me on the beach at Provincetown 17 years ago
called my name from the closer bay
he was down in the water
in the waves
i was watching him
he cupped his hands around his mouth
as we do
and i could hear him say my name
as if he were in the room with me
it was shocking
so yeah
the shape of the hill
and perhaps the cement inside of my room
(the front wall is wood, but the rest of it is cement)
is the perfect sound shell
. . .
then tonight
while walking the beach back to my room from town
as i passed the hotel-under-construction
i raised my hand to block the blaring security light from my night-adjusted eyes
as i have done for weeks now
but tonight i noticed a sound differentiation
what was that?
i started waving my hand
and heard the sound of the waves
rushing past my face
towards the buildings
but caught in my hand
and bouncing back at my ear
wow, really?
i walked the rest of the way home playing with this acoustic revelation
moving my hand forwards and back
in different patterns and speed
then laterally away from my head and towards
hearing the stereo effect of the wave sounds coming into both ears
in the last few years
part of the meditation technique i have been doing
has allowed me to be much more aware of What Hearing Is Like
this may sound totally uninteresting to many people
but i have been so subtly aware
that i have felt bird-song hit my face
and fold into the contours of my ocular cavities
as the sound waves condense there
feeling the subtle sensations of the sound waves
vibrate whatever particles are in the air closest to my skin
no drugs, folks, just mindfulness
(though i am a big proponent of telling people to learn from every time they do drugs: whatever aspects they enjoy about the experience i tell them to learn how to be that way when sober: it’s possible with the attention placed in such a way: attention and these miraculous bodies can do amazing things together)
it’s not just about hearing sound waves with your eye-bowls or hands. . .
but infinite other subtle aspects: what do sounds do to your consciousness?
what responses happen in your system? how do they cause other reactions through out the body and consciousness? how can this wisdom be extrapolated and applied to other experiences in real time? etc. . .
but also
the side effect
of being able to hear the acoustic reflection from my hand
and exploring the aural aspect of existence in a brand new way
feels like magic
and every little joy
is a joy worth appreciation
and a joy worth sharing.
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