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My friend Marcel is in this movie…
Come see it!
Want to come as a group?
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I forgot to mention over here:
My Friend Leo is here for a week!
( I’ve been stuck in Facebook and forgetting my standards )
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purple scarf thing from Trevor, strange paisley purple/green shawl
thing found on the ground at SMS, purple American Apparel vest-shirt
from Jorge, half of a green-dyed sheep’s skin as a skirt, boots i
found in the old house in vermont last year. . .
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i had a good time taking pictures this weekend
here is one of my friend David… but now i must sleep!
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I’m out in Jersey
And don’t know when I’ll be back…
What’s happen to this week?!?
contrary to popular belief
i really DON’T love looking at myself for hours on end
not that i don’t like looking at myself, don’t get me wrong
i’m just saying that i don’t keep galleries of hundreds of pictures of me on my web site because i look at them
in fact, i probably haven’t seen all of the pictures in those galleries
— i see enough of myself every day, and though i often like the way i look, i don’t really love sifting through pictures of myself.
which brings me to my current problem:
i did a photo shoot in Portland back in August (well, three photo shoots)
and i JUST got the files yesterday
in a tiny tiny web rez gallery
the photographer doesn’t want to give me all of them at a better resolution
(even a long edge of 1200 would be satisfying to me, am i being too critical? these are JUST TOO SMALL)
and says i can have less than a dozen in high-rez JPGs
then he’s going to delete the RAW files
(but for the ones he will keep for his portfolio)
all of my bitching at him did not make him change his mind
and i REALLY don’t feel like looking at all of these images
not when i’m pissed off about the situation
(i would just say the guy is an asshole coz he didn’t give me what i want… but he’s not, he takes beautiful photos… he just isn’t giving me what i want on my terms. shucks)
SO
if you really really like looking at pictures of me
please spend some time going through this gallery
and make note of the numbers of the pictures you really like
and try to pic two or three that you think are REALLY GREAT
then leave a comment or email me
it would be appreciated
Oh, and yeah
there is nudity
though nothing particularly sexual
and if you want to see his other work
go here
in case you haven’t seen this yet
you can now.
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As a Gemini
Anyone I’ve ever partnered with
Has become my Brother
Not in a Louis-sort-of-way
But as the eternal Lover and Companion… Compatriot.
My mirror; reflect what I are, in case you don’t know
I’ve always been faced with someone who looks away
Someone who says what I want to hear, to please me
Like my eternal ” I’ll be there in a half hour ” when there is no way
possible to get there that soon
Well meaning liars
Even to myself
And
Like anynother shadow
I can’t shake my Brother
Who talks all sorts of shit
And never does any of it
But some meager pathetic offering of no importance
It infuriates me
Seems like hell
How do I show up?
I can never partner with a reflection better than myself
The saints told me that years ago
My ego would like to believe they are worse than me
But I know it’s me
I’m humble before it
I don’t want to hurt myself
It’s always seemed impossible to love myself
And I’m tired of being angry at fools who want my love that I deem
unworthy
How do I break through that?
How do I love myself anyway?
Will clearing out the closet of all of these doppelgangers make it any
easier?
Can I do it alone?
Love myself?
Come out of my hermitage
Shiny and new
With a whole gallery full of heart-shit my dealer can sell for fame
and fortune?
Oh
To be fair
The artists I’ve partnered with have always been too interested in
their own agendas to play my game
But I’ve had plenty of sorry fellows with raized lives happy to play
along…
What am I doing in this city?
I don’t know how to be with any of you
I don’t know how to have fun
I suck
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I’ve been focusing on sleeping more like a normal
These are the things I wrestle with
Up at 9am the last two days
Today for working at the acupuncture clinic
Late anyway
But a good morning of yoga and such
No time for proper communications
— she says I’m doing well
But my liver is a little punchy (re: pissy)
After the needling I moved about in a haze
I was gone from NYC nearly three weeks
So walked around since 3 til now buying things
And looking for the Bijou Cinema
( it was talked about at my little party on Saturday )
Found two addresses for it
Both now empty
But I got some good books for cheap at St Mark’s books
The street, however, was even less interesting to me than it used to be
I stopped by Flower Power to see if they had a Salvia D Tincture
They didn’t
But while there
A very young black boy came in and looked around, then asked the clerk
” do you sell weed “
Yeah, he meant mj
She was shocked
He shrugged and left
I did too ( after buying oat tops )
And felt terribly uninspired
Now I’m waiting out the next half hour with 2-4-1 drinks at the Boiler
Room
…apparently the Bijou opens later…
Who knew?
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