Sí
it all depends on how You define “waste”
i always thought it was very irritating of her to say that to me
and that little sand in my flesh has made a pearl over all these years
when i wrote this entry
it was after seeing “the golden compass”
and that line about how “authority tells people what to do for their own good, and in a kindly way… so they won’t hurt themselves”
it started a thought process of agreement that led back to my critical feelings that mass media generally asks people to “waste” their lives
and often expects that
and in that definition of “waste” i mean what’s so commonly called “abundance” here in the western world
where everything now is disposable and made to break and be replaced
Make yourself disposable waste!
like the excess packaging on tooth paste, or a TV
like a cell phone or computer that needs to be changed every few years
like a car designed to take up space and resources
and be replaced
excellent at making waste
i imagined being precious
life being precious
everything being precious
and through attention to the details
reverence cultivating the whole world in myself
retained, reflected, and alive
growing
progressing
dreaming
not something to just be thrown away.
don’t ask us to waste our lives
don’t expect that we wish to waste our lives
“don’t waste your life”
— last words from my high school Biology teacher, Mrs Burkhart
but
whatever
I’ll always be beautiful
no matter how old I get
or fat
or grey
or dead
why is it hard for people to know this about themselves
I’m in Puerto Rico with Jorge
(in case you’re curious)
i return to NYC January 10th.
(hopefully a little darker)
fragment of a conversation at dinner last night lead to this:
because all good distractors have recursion in them
something too heavy to deal with
a light flight of fantasy
to carry you away
and bring you home again
“sometimes you have to go a long distance out of the way
so you can come back a short distance correctly”
what you couldn’t deal with looking at from one angle
looks manageable from another
Today
i’ve renamed my journal from “waltzingtree” (which was a random name i chose before i knew how LJ worked)
to dominicvine to be consistent with the rest of my on-line monikers
and now, when i meet people, they don’t have to say “Oh, you’re Waltzingtree!”
they can use use my name.
Hello.
“The time of heroes is dead: the christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs and fear and shame.”
someone recently told me that Neil Gaiman had written the screen play for this movie…
i’d seen plenty of adverts for it in the subways
and it looked just like a video game… i wasn’t interested
but hearing Gaiman was involved
i felt obligated
so yesterday Jorge and i went along…
i was quite impressed
all i ask for from a movie is that it inspires thought and feeling in me that further my life
it was entertaining
sexy
disorienting (watching an entirely CGI movie always is… and i didn’t know this was one before i went to see it)
i LOVE Ray Winstone… so that was nice… even though he was transformed into a muscle hunk… he was still hot
(how they transformed the bodies of the actors through age and size was pretty amazing… mmmm, Wiglaf)
what i liked most
were little quotes like the one up top
where Gaiman and Avery (Co-writer and of Pulp Fiction, Killing Zoe, True Romance, et al) stick it to modern culture
and present us with so many other little turns about the nature of the choices we make…
but how do they relate to our world of the here and now?
the biggest curiosity for me i still haven’t put my fingers around
so i’d like to see it again..
Actually
i’d like to see it again because i’ve heard they also show it in 3D
and i’ve not seen a 3D movie in years
and know this would be a lot of fun
Anyone want to go with me sometime soon?
it’s showing at Union Square…
out of everyone’s eyes is the Grand Organization
what you see is what you know: clearly manifest
whatever understandings you have
judgments you decree
the world conforms
your world
as you perceive it
and what a wonderful world
the jigsaw falls into place
it some how all fits together and keeps going
there’s space for the apples to grow in your orchard
there’s room for you apocalypse
just around the corner
it will not be too late for you to get mugged by that dark-skinned baddie up the block
and every lover leave you loveless
or potentially be your soulmate
i know you’ll find a way to be famous
and everyone will know your name
tomorrow will not be too late
for your millions to come rolling in
so you can buy the restaurant
on a night you don’t want to deal with any chatter going on around you
it can all happen
there’s time enough for love
and hope enough for tragedy
make your wishes
dream your dream
commit to your life with each breath
and each cloud of exhalate seals your fate
i know this
once
i could touch it with my tongue
i had such dreams…
now i’m not better or worse
just another confused soul
blocks falling out of the sky
to make up the puzzle
stage hands shoving me on stages
when i’ve forgot the plot
as good as any other
bright spots
dark spots
she asked me tonight
if i had intentions to get enlightened
and talked about all the ways
i said i’d been working for nearly ten years purifying my intentions
not to get enlightened
but to Be enlightened
i know what it looks like
i’ve felt it
lo siento
i just can’t stay there…
but if i could
i wouldn’t cast so many damn shadows on every one i meet
i’d see clearly what each thought did to everything around me
and i could instantly turn the ugly into beautiful
i don’t want to be just another obstacle in front of a star
i want to be one myself
shining light out into the night
right
is that my intention?
let me look through my pockets and see if there was anything else i forgot
one sec…
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