… and other great conspiracies.
Leo mentioned that never had things been so bad:
the dumbing down of the common man
though i could see his point
i had to argue:
the common man has never been “intelligent”
he lives.
he eats and dies.
he fucks and laughs.
dances. drinks. sorrows.
he lives.
gets wounded.
Yes
the great revolution was supposed to bring about a time when all had the luxury to do more than work
to do
other than…
but i don’t know if the “common man” ever did.
he says they did
he said they were coming to a point where they all were becoming self aware
until the greater will (what would that be, dear Father?
Christ? the Illuminati? the Politick?)
deemed it counter-profitable to have the common people conscious
thus created a play land for their freedoms
to steer their desires back into stupidity
where once they were all made to think themselves “Slaves” with all the “work” that “Needed” to be done
they were then fooled into believing themselves Free
silly mistake
but the label stays
and now they are all driven to be mindless consumers
so he said
so he said
and i suppose they are still slaves
like i’ve always said
which is a greater tragedy than the starving days of yore
when they suffered
when they lived
what do they do now?
yesterday’s dream became clear to me
while i was talking on the phone with bridget:
i’m really fucking tired
so i can’t do what i need to do
(drive.)
this is upsetting my friends who are along for the journey with me
and trying their patience
but i’m too exhausted to pilot my vehicle
seeking refuge (in realities) with friends i love and respect
is not what i need now
i will still have my needs violated/ignored
and
because i am exhausted
i will respond inappropriately
— this has been happening over and over to increasing degrees.
very rarely do i understand my dreams so clearly
still
this just makes my situation clear
it does not give advice.
Still, knowing is half the battle, eh?
———— i need nourishment! ————–
[all neon-like]
http://www.sexworkersartshow.com/
i was gladdly surprised by this tonight
— very worth the time for anyone who could get a chance to see it
a little about my experience…(photo of me inside)
Leo appologized this morning for snapping at me yesterday
and in my acceptance i said
“i just want to be able to help
— as a general state of being in the world, really
but if i can’t help in my relationships
i just feel retarded”
which twisted everything into focus
.flickr-photo { }.flickr-yourcomment { }
after all this time knowing leo
i’ve finally succeeded in distancing him
he was very angry at me today
and i with him
he even called me a “brat”
either i’m growing up in a good way
and moving away from things that aren’t good for me
or i’m burning bridges and being a total asshole
either way: i’m being true to myself
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