long bright falling star
shoots straight down
four or five seconds
flashing red, orange
i saw it while laying in the water
looking up at moon
then i went and lay down in the snow
breaking the ice
feeling it melting under me
while my skin started to sparkle
and this morning
there were dreams
about going to take an AIDS test
where they test you not for virus
but based on your disposition…
then there was this house
where Thor was my uncle
it had belonged to his mother or something (some relation to me)
we converted it into gambling
but really
we were taking people’s souls
dubious
the house was mostly abandoned
and most floors were just packed with STUFF
dusty and dark
the elevator terrified me
but the people kept coming.
right now
i’m sitting upstairs
looking out over the hills
covered in snow
the farm fields seperated by narrow rows of trees
children’s crayons lines
not so straight
and the clumps of trees
some blocks
some, you might call forests
(on a bald man’s head)
the snow on the ground
black sticks not hiding it much.
the sky’s gone gray now
i guess it’ll be night soon
“when the day is short and the nights are long”
i went to sleep sometime after 1 last night
and woke sometime after 1 today
all that dreaming
i woke the first time and realized i hadn’t moved the whole night
so i rolled onto my left side
no one there to put my arm over
i woke later on my right side
my left hand tucked between my thighs
i had just rolled onto my belly (to finish the cycle)
when Jeff came in and woke me…
no wonder i slept so long
i really needed the sleep
the night before last i hardly slept at all
sorting out my music library
yes
making love with my ipod
til 5am
and the two nights before that
talking and movies and cuddling with Arthur
— i never really sleep with him
i just swim like fish with him all night
through dreams and body hair and where the arms are supposed to go
never even attempting sleep before 2am
and having been setting the clock (which is fast anyway) for 8am
coz i’ve needed to take the long N ride back into manhattan each morning to work on clients
couple from KY
and a nice jewish elder that listened while i conversed with him about why i’d loved jewish men
— where are all the mystics?
not certain what i’m looking for anymore
the world is still gladly giving me options
this morning
Harry said
“it is the father’s responsibility to have dreams for the son
but they shouldn’t be obligations”
am i looking for dreams to agree with?
am i just a river going through
looking for banks i’d like to rush through
enjoy that scenery
move some rocks
gather some soil
and leave some behind?
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