if i have too much energy
i am fascinated by everything
and can’t get anything done
perhaps
i act how i often act
to wear myself out
so i operate tired
and must struggle to keep myself focused?
otherwise
i’m too excited to worry about focus.
i feel like i’m getting some stuff done right now
but i’m tired
“i’ve got too much energy to switch off my mind
but not enough to get myself organized”
— matt jonson
damn, i’m loving this new BSS album.
i was very fortunate to sleep so long
there was
perhaps
a little tossing and turning
but not much, really
all things considered…
but when i woke
it was about 7am, i think
well..
by the Peruvian clock
CA is three hours behind
which meant: about three hours left of the flight
it was all the shuffling around the plane..
had to pee
food came
the soggy bread rolls with melted cheese and… “ham”?
No.
Omletes.
hmmm
i drank my AirBorne Effervescents
and tried to convince myself to sleep again
pretty soon
i knew it was futile
and got out the book to finish it.
Yeah
my mind was full of holes
and here i was trying to bring the fullness of being into my presence
kinda skidding into home plate
kinda sliding under the door
it made me laugh
i’ll read this over and over again..
the light in the sky was comming on
in front of us
darkness
but behind us
the sky was fire
buring through the black
… something about light?
the gay steward
making inuendos
and winking a lot
but not at us so much
but the two older men sitting in front of us
who had just come from the National Geographic boat in Antarctica
yeah, we’re fucking pussies
yeah
he was 84..
“it’s better Together” the boy said
and we were stuck in our seats
long lines to piss
sleeping
the lights flickering on
and really
it was time to go
that is
Land.
6:30 or something
had to wait a moment
but then
really
we were there
it all went so simply
.. you know that little voice that always tells you
“you’re gonna die”
every time you do anything?
he’s always really surprised when the plane lands
but usually he keeps his mouth shut at that vital moment
coz he doesn’t want to hear
“i told you so” again.
America
(not like the continent, more like the God Given Right)
shuffling through the immigration lines
— the guy hardly looked at me when he checked me in
… but i was staring at him
his big black round face, big hands, wide belly
and the shaved head, pale skin, dark stache over there…
Jim walked passed him
making a face at me, saying ” i think i left my papers in the seat pocket on the plane ”
… they took him off somewhere
and i went to get a trolley for the luggage
got the luggage..
where is Jim?
(slight paranoia about the ayahuasca and san pedro in my bags)
Oh, there he is…
over to the..
Agricultural inspection
and
Of Course ( i fucking say , under my breath )
the guy writes a big Red A on my card… then does it to Jim’s too… coz he can see we’re together
we go over to the line
which is pretty non existant
and they ask us the questions
i say
“uh, chocolate…”
and as i’m putting my bags on the conveyor
“and some plants i brought From here… medicinal herbs, you know, from here…”
Jim, however
has his aura on full
a power that only the Mature really have of
“””THIS IS ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT: DON’T WASTE MY TIME”””
and the guy doesn’t really inspect
i doubt he even looks at the monitor
before our bags are through
he’s telling us to collect them
and we just wheel them out..
past the kid who’s exasperated
as his entire suitcase is being taken to pieces
which the big man lacsidasically saying “you know, i can show you where it says i’m allowed to…”
and the kid is saying “yes yes…” while his body is squirming like the pee-pee dance
Jim hasn’t called Gene
and his mumbling about the fucking inane bullshit inspectors
burbles into a story about when he came back from Africa
and Gene Was Right There, waiting for him
(but he wasn’t Now)
we turn the corner and start walking the ramp
and there’s Gene
Looking almost fatherly
a composed and loving large grin on his face..
i meant to have the camera out for this
… somewhere in my mind
but i was so burnt out…
they hugged and kissed
and Gene immediately tells us he was very good
and didn’t let him self get into that emotinal space..
he almost lost it with the one email i sent
telling him that Jim talked about him all the time..
right out to the car
right into the traffic
right into the LA Jams
right into 90MPH weaving between cars
cussing out each of them
…
ahh
back home
(for Jim)
i checked my voice mail
— damn, my voice sounded sleepy and blown out on that message…
i changed it (how does it sound now?)
and we got into Palm Springs about 2.5hrs after we left the airport
i thought i was going to go to sleep
but decided to copy all the pictures first
and that reunited me with my Love
(well, my computer)
and i sat at it the whole day
moving pictures around
answering emails
THINKING about finishing all my journal posting
(coz what i haven’t posted already i have hand-written in the little black book i’ve had in my pocket…
except this entry, which i’m writing from memory days later)
and trying to line up massages and bellies and the next few weeks
…
go to LA on thursday
go to SF on saturday
to go Harbin on Tuesday
Hermitage
Fort Bragg on Thursday
back to SF on Tuesday (maybe hermitage/harbin again?)
i don’t know
i can’t make plans
and don’t really solidify anything
but there are many people who want massages
though that guy here in PS flaked out already
ahhh
i’m back in california
and won’t be back in NYC til the 15th
and is it possible i’ll get a ride upstate?
looks unlikely
but it’s fine
i say i’m going to bed by 10
but it’s 10:30 by the time i peel myself off the keyboard
and make it to the teddy-bear room
knocking the bears off the bed
stacking the pillows elsewhere
turning back the covers
and settling in for a well-deserved Rest.
once again
Woke Early
but this time
with the Phone ringing…
wake up call
simple..
i did some streatching
-re-organized my things a bit
took a shower
tried to get myself Vital…
the windows were steamed up..
and i loved watching an old man with a pick hacking away at the field
held in by the rock walls..
a beautiful sunny day, yes..
but i didn’t go have breakfast this morning
ate nothing..
decided i would fast a few days
had a cup of tea
and off we went
packed into the bus
and onto the airport…
beautiful views of the city
everything rolling past
farm fields
…
there’s this old Incan style of farming
where they dug ditches and made platforms..
somehow it stops the plants from getting frosted…
do they plant them in the ditch or the platform?
i would assume the former..
but i was too tired to ask.
when we got to the airport
we got by pretty hassle-free
though none of us were seated by the windows…
and the flight had to land in Cusco before continuing on to Lima
we said good-bye to Walter and Sulema after paying our airport tax
… all of us having given them their tips…
(tips… they get paid.. but all of us gave quite a bit of money for a Tip that culminated in quite a substantial fee…)
and sat
waiting for over an hour..
there were some incredibly cute guys..
and i had got pretty burnt out on taking pictures
.. mostly, in the last few days, i’d be focusing on taking pics of guys..
thinking of sharing them with Gene..
so cute..
anyway
the flight..
i read a lot of “Power of Now”
realizing he’d done a good job of trying to destroy the world and, more so, save it at the same time.
i wondered about friend’s relationships
asked
”
how did you choose your partner?
Are you using the relationship to bring yourself to further awareness of yourself?
is your partner?
… what are you using the relationship for?
— or — what is it doing for you?
— or– what is it doing?
”
then realized that looking at something consciously to attain a goal
was missing the point
so settled back into my sleepiness
we got into Lima
and i felt a little frustrated..
in our Day Room at the hotel
i quickly ran out
to check with Jackie, our day guide
to see what had become of the Stolen Camera deal…
she didn’t know anything about it
and said she would have all the answers at the end of the day
… as she told Judy and Poncho when they asked her if they had a room for the night.. seeing that they weren’t leaving tomorrow..
so i went up stairs to use the internet: there were four different guys i’d talked with on line that i could potentially meet up with today..
but the internet wasn’t working in the hotel
so i went for a walk
for a supermarket
to see if i could find Maca…
but found an internet cafe first..
so sat there
for an hour
answering profile messages on different sites..
sending emails
.. nothing definite had come through
back to the hotel
Jim asked me where i had been..
said he was hungry
let’s go eat
i told him i was fasting
he should have eaten at the hotel restaurant..
but we went across the street
and he got a beer
and one of the most beautiful club sandwiches i had ever seen..
i haven’t eaten one in years
but when lived with my parents
it was one of my favourites..
this one was with four pieces of white bread..
but had a fried egg on top!
tortured…
i drank Manzanilla (chamomile) tea…
we saw Bob (the 77 year old) go into the wrong hotel across the street
so i ran over to correct him ( easy mistake, it was the same company, same colour building… but across the street and diagonal a bit)
he came over and had a drink (of tea) with us
and told us of his adventures
.. just left the hotel and went walking
went buying
jumped in a taxi
came back..
he showed us the things he bought…
glass and silver sculptures..
a golden llama..
i said it was time for me to go
and walked to a pay phone…
tried calling the two guys i had numbers for
… one didn’t speak english at all
and the phone cut us off quicker than i thought it would
i put in another coin
and called the other
who either couldn’t hear me well
or couldn’t understand my english
loud TV noise in the background
.. the phone disconnected us..
i walked down the block:
we happened to be staying on Avenida 28 de Julio
and four blocks from our hotel
was a gay bath house..
i took a look at it:
inconspicuous
i walked back to the hotel to try and make those phone calls again
the first guy
… didn’t connect
the second guy
he explained he had his parents over..
it was sunday, after all.
so i went out
for a walk
up to the Kenedy Park (yeah, from that guy who got shot in Texas)
some market was going on there..
i bought two change purses for 8 soles each
much nicer than the tourist stuff i’d bought already
and cheaper..
then i found a super market
and they only had Maca in pills
and i don’t like taking herbs as pills..
so i walked on..
back
down
around
… to the bath house..
Day 16
there was wind blowing
there were roosters crowing
there were dogs barking
and i wrestled myself back to sleep.
and Jim talking..
he misses Gene terribly..
so he has been telling me stories (over&over)
i lay in bed reading “the power of now” while he talked to me
occasionally listening
occasionally reading.
we had a late morning: didn’t need to go til 9:30
i remember
in my early-morning-throwes
seeing the moon in the sky
and smiling..
we’ll be back in the USA right around the time of the new moon
but damn, it does feel like Mercury retrograde is doing a number..
Sagittarius..
no wonder i signed the contract a few days ago to travel the rest of my life…
Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius while having my Saturn Return
today i’ve felt tired
kinda lifeless..
maybe kinda like when i first got into the high altitudes
… but even less
just no excitement
feeling like i want to hide.
what’s that about?
i
we got a local guide named Sulema
she lives here, knows the local language of Aymayra
she took us for a drive to a small town to buy presents for a family we were going to visit..
a plaza in the town..
cement town
quiet
empty
seemed so strange
graveyard
where are we?
bannanas. crackers. frosted-flakes-like puffed pasta coated with sugar. pop-corn… but local monster style.. with sugar. apples. coco leaves…
we got back in the bus..
oh
our new driver is Enrique
yeah, kinda stocky
yeah, i bet Gene would like him (it’s how Jim and i talk)
we drove to a small hillside with an arch on it..
all got out and played with the kids…
giving them the pasta and popcorn
they held up their skirts and shirts to make a basket for our offerings..
Jim and Jim and Metche stayed in the van
the rest of us walked up the hill
giving popcorn and pastas to all the kids we saw
with their parents
sheeps
cattle..
the men here have released the traditions
wearing second hand US clothing and baseball caps
the women wear all the traditionals
three skirt minimum!
a long colourful hat denoting their single status…
or
an English introduced Bowler hat
once they are married.
we walked down to the other side
and the van met us
the rest got out and joined us
… we walked in the sand through the fields of Fava Beans and Quinoa (the young plants look almost identical to Lamb’s Quarters.. and they do use the leaves as a spinach as well as the grain)
There was lots of complaining about the sand [fleas] and the walking
i began closing myself and distancing myself because of it, i guess..
took pictures of Lake Titicaca..
big.. small waves… the boats… the sand fleas..
here… they bury the dead where they liked to spend most of their time…
so in these farmer’s fields
we have seen a few graves
big cement blocks on top…
back in the van
we continued on
i felt hot
tired
we got off the cement onto dirt roads
constant conversations..
the dust… somehow coming in through the windows
i felt like i was choking
the van would stop various places while Sulema explained things
at a house-building party
a man walked up to the van while we were stopped
and the driver pulled away from him..
Judy and Elizabeth spoke up and said
” what did he want to tell us? ”
most everyone got out of the van to go visit the party… give some gifts..
i didn’t feel good about it
i was tired
and hungry
and feeling encased.
sat in the van with Jim and Jim
and they both complained about various things.
the rest got back in the van
we drove another couple hundred yards
and parked…
this is where Lunch would be.
we got out
and walked through the farm fields
red soil..
purple gravesite
zaging through the plots
up against the high rock wall dotted with altars…
E & J accosted me about why i didn’t get out of the car
.. commenting that anything would have been better than sitting there with those two
…
i felt tired.
we all went to out-houses
some complaining all around
we walked back out
and some sat down..
a woman was piling eucalyptus leaves into a small round oven..
Sulema explained that only the front “door” rocks were made of stone..
the rest were all clay..
the fragrant smoke filled the air
and another woman brought over a blanket wrapping up a bushel of potatoes
we all threw in a couple of handfuls
then the women closed the door
and banged in the top of the oven a bit
then poured in the rest of the potatoes through that hole
THEN
banged down the rest of the clay rocks on top of those
and smashed them up with sticks for a while
til all that hot clay was snuggled in tight around the little tatters..
then we saw weaving demonstrations..
how the women made the blankets they carried their babies in…
the belts that held their many skirts up
their fancy hats..
then we shopped..
much cheaper here than anywhere else we’ve seen..
the only danger was
Alpaca did not grow well in these parts
so the women used a lot of synthetics they bought from town
.. still
i found a few alpaca pieces that were cheap and wonderful
more presents for the folks back home..
we ate a few potatoes by hand only 20 minutes later
then lunch was served:
potatoes (burnt skin covered in dirt)
and a clay slip-like substance to garnish it with
(yes, folks, that is: Watery Clay on our potatoes)
(a greenish-grey clay.. probably would make a lovely facial mask as well)
a sheep’s cheese fresh… or fried
three types of bread
one wheat
the other two Quinoa
we sat and ate
some complained
… which made me sad
but i enjoyed it the food.
the little boys all pointed and laughed at me..
all the aymayra people piled up together in the middle and ate off a big blanket stacked with tatters and beans and bread.. maybe?
a pot of hot chili in the center…
then a quinoa (grain and leaf) soup came out
lovely..
washed down the sandy potatoes
then coco/mint tea
me and the ladies realized that this Was our ThanksGiving Feast!
so fitting: us foreign tourists being fed by the Indians…
soon after
we all gathered together for a question and answer session
– still feeling remote, i wanted to give them their privacy
i just watched…
but it wasn’t really us asking the questions:
it was them.
they wanted to know what we did, where we were from… what our names where.. how old we were (most wouldn’t tell their age)
then we piled in with them and got some pictures taken…
and it was time to go.
walking away from the high-cliffs behind the houses
we wondered if we could climb them…
but there was huffing and puffing and feet stamping
refusal…
so
just back to the van
where Enrique was working on the engine..
waiting… Sulema realized that she forgot to pay them..
a bit of panic ensued about money
we waited a bit longer while she run back to give them some.
(it was something insanely low… 90 soles? 90 dollars? i think soles. insane)
meanwhile
i tried to convince some goats in the road to let me pet them:
they’d have none of it
but the people walking by found it humerous
when it was finally time to go
we were all quite exhausted
i remember Jim telling a long story to Dietmar about his father’s (grand father’s?) Model-A Ford engine he’d rigged up to churn butter
— when he came back from the Service, his dad had sold it for incredibly cheap.
countryside on the way back
white lime stone
fields
fences
little houses
my day’s lethargy followed me home.
we had about an hour before dinner…
we were excited with Anticipation:
Walter had not come with us on today’s excursion
— we suspected he had stayed here to prepare a ThanksGiving Feast!
and we were right!
he couldn’t get turkeys
but roasted three chickens
with stuffing!
& mashed potatoes
sweet potatoes
excellent bread
gravy
Wine!
there was enough wine left over that i took some back to the room for later musings
we all felt very thankful
and certainly well fed
Judy and i walked over to the hotel across the street to use their land line
(the only land line in town)
to call friends..
i got Leo on the phone for a minute or two
just enough to say ‘ i love you ‘
— left a message for my parents…
listened to the waves
the wind
and walked back with our heavy bellies
(my poncho blowing in the wind)
ready get a nice long sleep…
Pictures
Tomorrow
Yesterday
when i woke up this morining
i didn’t want to..
it was about 5am..
why is it when i go to sleep later i wake up earlier?
i took a cab home after writing last night because it was raining
and i was TIRED.
so i lolled around in bed
streatched a bit
talked with Jim about yesterday
then went down for breakfast
and headed over here to the internet cafe to check my messages
… now i am determined to have sex with someone here in Cusco.
email tag.
So..
i finished up here
then ran back over to the hotel
just in time for everyone to be heading down stairs for a lecture
.. i ran up stairs and had my morning BM (as Jim would say)
then back down..
a National Police man giving us a slide show about Peru´s terrorists
the Shining Path and MRTA
… customary one sided Evol mindset
i began getting jittery.
bored.
Been Jittery all day.
expectant..
we left there for Saxawaman..
… leaving Pancho, accidentally, at the internet cafe..
back around
picked him up
and off to the ruins..
Funny
when we arrived in Cusco
a guy jumped around in front of us taking our pictures..
this morning at the hotel
a girl showed up with Cusco post cards… with those pictures on them!
one for each of us..
i was making a silly face
so i bought it..
for 5 soles.
the ruins were beautiful
big round lime stone
one level (HUGE) from pre-incan times
the second two levels from the Incas
mostly destroyed and turned into churches below..
and houses..
.. they just stopped that from happening in 1974..
though there are still the occasional looters that dig up here to sell stuff on the black market
(shakes head)
we bussed from there to the start of the Incan Trail from Qusqo to Machu Pichu
took some pictures
got back on the bus
and went to Q´neen (or something) lots of lime stone cavities..
most interesting were the tiny zig-zag canals dug for the lama blood to flow down from the Sun´s hitching post..
yeah..
then we went to a Shaman´s healing ceremony (Jim stayed on the bus through all of this…)
E made a comment of how no one believes in this crap..
jim compained about his body odor..
i was fearful of Shaman life-darts..
the whole thing was kinda silly
all these trinkets
spilled onto a paper
ritual of coco leaves
best wishes
body cleansing..
it just felt so strange with all the ceremony..
i prefer things to be sublime.
but it was an experience..
didn´t last long
we went to an Alpaca factory
and got to see the different grades of tourist sweaters..
hmm
but i didn´t buy anything from them
they felt a bit distainful… like they were expecting us and just wanted us to cut to the chase..
i went back to the bus
talked with Jim a while about how unhappy the people looked
(when you´re sick… everything is unhappy)
then went back outside and bought a big black poncho and two red/orange scarves
handmade by an indian who had walked several days to get here..
very cheap
and pretty nice..
then we headed off for Lunch..
they had Pisco Sours there
(have i mentioned this yet?
local drink make with a Grappe type liquor
sugar syrup
lime juice
egg whites
and a dash of bitters or nutmeg.)
lunch!
drank it down
then Jim´s too
then ate some… Guinea Pig.
.. Jim said it tasted like Squirrel.
ate my lamb… very gamey… yum..
then drank about four shots of Anis Liquor..
yum..
but damn
pretty burnt out.
another of those strange picture-postcards was taken of me today
and it was ready already!
i was making an even sillier face
so i bought it too..
came back to the hotel
left Jim to sleep
and came here
working through photos
writing in my journal
and… emailing
Pancho and Judy sat with me
.. they wanted to walk
but it was raining really hard
so we sat at the computers for hours…
eventually
it was time for dinner
at some very fancy place down town
we got in the bus and went
(Jim stayed home, not eating… giving his intenstines a rest)
the meal was nice
E and D shared their wine with us all..
the music and dance was fantastic!
telling stories
scary
playful
it was great
…
and when we were finished..
the night had cleared
Judy headed back to the hotel with Pancho
but this was our last night
they were gonna come back out and walk more
i was pretty fucking single minded about getting some play while i was here in town
so i hiked up to Plaza San Blais again
coz i KNOW i was being cruised by a cute bear yesterday
even though i doubted it now…
but when i got to the plaza
it was just standing around
waiting
wishing&hoping
some really hot chubby guy…
but with his kids
i bought some honey
for to get my cactus home
(grin)
and decided to call this guy i had met on SD
who was also a friend of a friend of mine…
… he came to meet me at the Plaza..
and though i wasn’t really attracted to him all that much
i was curious
so we took a cab back to his place
which was only a few blocks from the Hotel.
through alley
back yard
up small stairs
into the house
TV on
i turned it off
we stripped and began
broken english
there wasn’t really all that much of a connection
– he didn’t get what he wanted
and i didn’t either
what were we doing?
we were telling our story…
we was quite interested in my story
so we spent most of our time talking
… then he walked me back to the Hotel
beautiful sky
moon’s out there somewhere…
Pictures
Tomorrow
Yesterday
beautiful morning
awake at 6am..
this could get habit forming!
but will i get to sleep on time tonight?…
i got out of bed
stretched a bit
talked with jim..
he´s still feeling ill…
so i gave him a stack of electrolyte packets
and made him a bottle full of Marshmallow infusion..
then went out into the city to see if i could find an internet cafe..
all closed..
so
bought jim a big bottle of water (2.5 liters)
then ate a plate of papaya
and got him a glass of orange juice..
when i got back upstairs..
he was asleep.
i went back down
and out
across the street
the internet place was open
(wait, let me explain something…
for some reason
only our hotel
has a flock of people selling stuff outside of it
they all tell you their names
say
“don´t forget me, i am John (or Anthony or Mark…)”
“maybe later!?…”
ugh..
this morning i used my New York skills and just pushed past them with no eye contact and a mumbled
“no, gracias”)
i was the only one in the shop
and the boy gave me a computer with a broken USB port
so i grabbed the one next to it..
that had USB2
oh joy!
moved all my pics from the camera to the computer
and downloaded the FTP program again
and got them going..
all of Day 12 photos up
so… some of machu pichu..
then it started with day 8..
i went back to the hotel
stopping in the bus, saying hello to Guillermo (oh!) and leaving my stuff there
and sat with Judy and Walter and Pancho and… Christina and Regina
sat and ate omlete chunks
and Coxinha things
but they were just malformed little drum sticks..
then rushed off to pee
and get on the bus
we went to the former Temple of the Sun
now the “Convent of Saint Dominic of Cusco”
owned by the Vatican.
but Walter took us there as the Temple of the sun
and i got angrier and angrier as he explained what the spanish did
fucking Catholocism Christianity Power Monger Fuckers.
they had left some of the Incan walls..
stripped them of gold
and painted over them with their stupid tired stories of bullshit
blah blah blah, died for us, blah blah blah suffer
however
the Peruvians cleaned all that shit off a few years ago
and the incan walls seem so strange in there..
among the colonial walls, such less precision…
and among the modern (republic) structures..
Walter showed us how the walls were formed perfectly
and interlocked in the center to hold together..
in the huge earthquakes they´ve had since Spanish Dominiation (over 8 on the scale)
much of the colonial shit has fallen
and the Incan hasn´t.
…
Walter showed us the depiction of the Milky Way and the Southern Sky..
and explained to us
that Qusqo was built in the shape of a Puma
and this temple was the genitals
and if you looked at it from the sky
you would see.. it looked like the genitals
and it was meant to shoot the seamen of life up into the sky
Yeah!
love them Incas…
though they, in turn, destoyed and assimilated the cultures before them..
the way of the world…
we left there
and went to a local market
walter gave us all things to buy… in Quechua.
telling us nothing about them
the assignment was to go into there
find them
find out what they are and how they are used
and then bargin for them.
he assigned me Waka Chudo
and Cherimoya… which i haven´t eaten since i was living in Indiana..
the market was pretty fucking amazing
but i was pronouncing whatever it was Wrong.
i quess i was saying Chutu instead of Chudo..
i ended up getting a very large piece of bread.
then went looking for whatever else they had..
got an empañada for day of the dead kinda stuff..
found a lady that wanted to sell me powdered San Pedro Cactus for 3 soles
asked her where the Malva was
and it lead me down to another section
where i found walter
and he told me i had the wrong thing
but said: you´ll find it over there.
i bought the malva
then went where he pointed: the butcher section.
the smell of the tripe and hooves and slabs of flesh got to me really quick
and i walked up and down the aisle looking at things
eventually approaching a woman who looked quite bored, reading a paper
“tiene Waka Chudo?”
she looked around
lifted up a section of the news paper
and said “si”
… it was a mouth.
so i said i wanted it.
one sol was half the mouth, cut down the center.
upper and lower jaw bits, teeth, fur
tongue removed.
she asked me if i was going to eat it
i said..
yes..
she wanted to know if i wanted it shaved first..
no..that´s alright.
she put it in a bag
and i felt kinda dirty..
walked up the aisles
started taking some pictures..
then bought a buch of chocolate
some dark, some milk
some 100% incan chocolate
some 74% organic peruvian chocolate
yeah..
then went to the buss
…
we had our show and tell..
Ruda (for Metche and Jim) — a good luck charm.. and you can wash the floor or your hair with it.
Chutu (Elizbet and Deetmar) — bread. the fine grain. the larger loaf (the one i mistakenly got) was poorer grains.. mixted with spices and raisens to mask the flavor
Asnapa (for Judy and Pancho) — a blend of many fresh herbs for making a soup or something..
Twilig (for Bob) — ok, that wasn’t it’s name.. i don’t remember… but close!… it was the beans of the Lupine flower!… ground up and fried with cheese ..
i forgot the rest of them…
Judy and Christine got a bag of boiled corn..
we ended up giving most of it to Guillermo
and headed off to a Chapel of Mercey Christians?
i don’t know
i got so pissed off
infuriated
i tried to just let it go
Jim (d) and i stood outside while a man explained the church’s riches..
walter showed us a little hole of some crazy fucking preist who never came out except to carry a wooden cross around at midnight..
painted all the walls…
one room Heven.. the other Hell
blah blah blah
i was burnt out.
we walked around
i bought another Chakana (the incan cross)
and went to eat at a chicken restaurant..
then back to the Hotel.
i checked in on Jim..
sleeping..
he woke after a little while
and we talked about the day
then he went back to bed..
and i went out to explore the city.
Tobias Schneebaum, when convinced to come back here in the documentary made about him a few years ago, was walking through narrow streets with high walls..
Walter told me it’d be in the old city (the puma..) and pointed up hill
so i decided i would go there..
first, to delete some of the photos off the computer i put them on yesterday..
but that cafe was full.. so i couldn’t get there..
so i walked up high stairs..
and..
all of a sudden
was out of TouristVille..
into a small street
channeled streets
i was drawn
fascinated
i walked
up and up
on and on
narrower
ahh, here beside the Sun Temple!
these old walls..
the canals through the walls.. i sang into!
the old ruined foundations
glass doors protecting
look at that..
the little kids
everyone staring..
the kids at the tourists
the tourists at everything..
narrow streets..
an interenet place
i sat down to see if i could find anything about Gay Cusco..
blocked by a porn blocker..
my gmail too..
so i moved to another computer
and that worked..
i found lots of stuff for Lima..
only a few listings for bar/restaurants here
..i jotted down their names.
and got obsessed with silverdaddies..
eventually
the internet locked up..
not just in that store
but the entirety of Cusco..
Out.
cell phones too
(ok Mercury…)
so i paid the proprietor
and asked him if he knew where the Plazoleta Nazarenas was..
he explained in spanish
four blocks straight up
!
alright
so i walked
getting distracted by all the beautiful streets and people and doors..
got to the plaza
quite empty..
found the address: 221…
for Fallen Angel.
i rang the buzzer
and a gay boy answered the door
not speaking english
he got a girl.. not gay.. who did not speak very good english
then a Very Gay Guy game out from the back room and started talking with me..
telling me how ther Is No Gay Life here in Cusco..
which is funny
because the city’s flag is a rainbow flag.. but with one extra colour than ours…
a light blue between the blue and green..
he jotted down on my map where the cafe’s and restaurants were..
but not real discotects…
a sauna… but not REALLY gay.. but gay men go there..
Ok..
this bar was amazing..
like a coffee house i used to go to in Broadripple when i was 16…
colours everywhere
textures..
statues
art..
beautiful ambiance..
i took a few pictures
but it was very dark in there..
i walked out
and headed up to the older part of the city
on the hill
the streets got tighter
and more vertical
stairs
with cannals
blue doors
balconies
high incan walls
sod, sometimes..
i talked with some… Australian guy?
who told me Boliva was boring
but this town was beautiful..
…
i walked towards the plaza San Blas
on the upper level
saw a bunch of hippie kids selling their wares
beautiful chain work
.. i had to talk with them mostly in spanish..
but found out they made this all by hand
it was pretty cheep
so i bought a choker..
then a younger guy with long hair and i started talking
.. he´s peruvian
but from the desert..
had a bunch of fossilized shark teeth
i bought one
and asked him to do some knot work on it…
he said it would take him an hour…
and would i meet him back here?
then he was hesitant..
and invited me to his house..
so i followed him
up stairs..
, winding alleys…
to a door
opening into a compound
on a cliff
his house
up a spiral staircase
his room was all windows
and i could see the entire city..
i stood in mountain pose for a while
looking out..
took some pictures..
noticed a Rainbow in the south.. over the city of rainbows..
the Centre of the world..
Qusqo means “navel”
in the cross.. it is the hole in the center…
now?
after petting the cat
and massaging the dogs (the husky´s name was “killa” — “Moon” in Quechua … if i had a dog i´d want a Husky or a Mikita)
i told Carlos, this guy, that i wanted to wander around while there was still light
he said he´d be done in an hour
so i left..
beautiful colours…
i just photo graphed things..
the net was still down.
i ate at a little kabab house
a guy from Barcelona
kinda cute
lots of veggies and meat
too much to eat
i took it back up to Carlos´ place…
but he wasn´t done.
he undid all his work and started over..
so i left him again
and headed down to the Sauana..
i passed Elizabeth and Deetmar on the way
and scared them by saying hello
i was extatic..
talking to them made it clear
(chewing on coco leaves)
telling them to go see that area i had just come from
i was going across town
and the air got worse
things were newer… touristy..
i searched..
and could not find it
up and down the street..
was that it?
Caliente Duchas! 24 ahoras!
… no..
i walked in the building and it looked like someone´s house… with a market in the courtyard?
i walked out..
into another courtyard..
once again
someone´s house..
outhouse..
no..
i asked people
they pointed me the oppsite direction
i looked
.. i found it!
and there was an ad for one of the gay-owned restaurants on the wall
so..
i went in.
28 soles for the sauna/steam room
3 soles for a towel
1.5 soles for a bathings suit.
men and women
one guy obviously gay
all the rest
older, chunky men
with their girlfriends or wives..
in the steam room
a big chubby guy sat right next to me!
i was so excited
but he didn´t speak english
nor i spanish..
so..
from the steam room to the sauna
wanting..
it´s no good..
room filled with het couples
nice
talking..
this is the first time i´ve ever been in a heterosexual sauna..
but for Heartwood..
oh… and wales..
well
i mean
in a city!
strange
to hear them all talking away
trying to get into the flow of the language..
to understand them.
the big chubby guy´s name was Thabok
and he was entertaining the whole room
telling stories
rubbing his belly a lot
squeezing it
and wiping himself everywhere constaly with his washcloth..
a woman started using the salt scrub
so i did as well
in my yoga streatches
if felt so good
from there to a cold water shower: Spanish Duche
back to the steam room, back to the sauna
resting..
Thabok left…
another round
and me too…
back to meet carlos to get the necklace…
but
being the explorer that i am
i decided to take another route..
the narrow winding roads turned into dirt
quiet
no cars
i welcomed the clean air..
but i couldn´t find a road leading left..
i walked a long time
finally found some stairs..
so went up..
huffing and puffing..
more stairs
ok..
no
this road isn´t right..
more stairs
i was about to die
more stairs..
ok.. ENOUGH
i turned left and staggered down the street..
i was very high up now..
some security guys..
in spanish
asked me where i was going
i did my best to explain
they told me i was almost at the top of the mountain
and asked if i´d like to be escorted to where i needed to go
… so as not to get lost
i said yes..
we spoke our broken languages..
a very windy path
FAR back down..
Carlos wasn´t on the square
so i went back to his house
he had finished it
and was making dinner..
the house was filled with people
mostly germans, austrians and a swiss girl…
one peruvian guy besides Carlos
and one Brazilian from Bhiah…
telling me how much i needed to go there… in Portuguese..
i talked with them all a while
then left and went to an internet cafe
… the net was working again
so i wrote the first half of this
and wrote some guys from the www.perubears.com site
we´ll see…
then they were closing
and i had to go..
it was raining
so i caught a cab home..
oh no!
right after i got in bed
a train rumbled by
shaking everything..
but i guess it didn´t wake jim up..
i slept well
dreamt well
what was happening?
i don’t know
but i felt very rested when Jim got up and turned the light on
saying
“it’s nearly 9… what time were you supposed to leave”
the first group, which was supposed to include me, left at 6:15, the second at 7:15
OH NO!
what am i going to do now?
the whole day fuct..
and we’re leaving town at 1 today..
damn!
then, i looked at my watch
and realized it was actually 5:40…
so
breathed a sigh of relief
and told Jim..
see
i was banking on that, perhaps foolishly
but Jim ALWAYS wakes up really early
as he did today.
OK
jim was sick though
sniffling and sneezing and bowels
.. i was worried
so i gave him airborne (those effervescent tablet things) and E-mergen-C
that vitamin C stuff
and told him how to take them
then ran down stairs
stuffed eggs in my mouth
poured him a glass of orange juice
and grabbed two bottles of water for him
ran back up stairs..
he was sleeping again
i ran back down
time to go!
but 5 more minutes
ok..
more eggs!
three bananas in my pockets
and an orange (thing)
off we went
to the bus
up the mountain
(1,200 feet from the town)
so excited
though it did look like it would rain today
the clouds were just heavy.. not falling
we walked across the city
signing our names in a book at the check point
Deetmar, Elizabeth, Luis and i…
E led the way
as we wound through a forest
down from the chin to the nose
then up
up up up
windy narrow steps
sometimes just boulders layed together
past beautiful flowers..
then i saw wild strawberries everywhere!
still in the flowering state, but ! Wow !
how did they get up here?
and Plantain! (the leafy thing on the ground, not the bannana type thing)
which i have been looking for since we got to Peru and not found it.
HERE
how the hell did they get up here?
birds?
the ruins at the top were…
and they felt so!…
looking down
the water falls
the spectacular view of Machu Pichu
we took pictures of eachother
and looked and looked..
then E rushed us along
— we wanted to take the Inca Trail up to the Sun Gate as well
— we made it up here in about 38 minutes, faster than the Hour that was expected
and we still stopped to smell the flowers..
so down we went
down down
winding narrow steps about a foot wide and maybe 4 inches deep
having to walk with ballet feet…
then back to the trail
down, winding around
passed a 3 year old boy with his mother, damn..
then.. it started to rain.
glad we were almost down
things started to get slippery
by the time we were back to sign our names in the book (we’d been gone 1 and a half hours. first to sign back in… but our guide would Not take us to the great caves or the moon altar)
the rain was pretty heavy
and the tourists were packed in the little thatched houses avoiding the rain..
but i had the rain jacket on that my mother had given me in brazil last year… that dad had given her..
it kept me (and, more importantly, the camera) dry enough
so i didn’t understand why we were standing around…
Luis pointed out a big rock that was the same shape as the ridge of the mountain behind it
called a sacred rock
you could see where people placed their hands in prayer on it..
E suggested we try and clear the rain off the mountain… as a joke
but i thought it was a good idea
so i walked up to the rock and placed my palms on it
yeah, power as it was
i felt my energy merge with it
and raised mine to accelerate
taking myself into the mountain
the sky
the clouds..
— they would stay here, they said
but they appreciated me asking.
so i told them “let´s go”
and E and D decided they would go back to the Café and have some Coffee
yeah, whatever
i left them and wandered around
heading up: towards the Gaurd house..
thinking i would try and find the Incan Bridge
which i had been told was a very tretcherous trail along a sheer cliff face
Yeah!
when i saw the first sign for a bridge
i heard someone call my name
looking around the corner
i saw Judy and Pancho!
i said ” want to come with? ”
they said ” yeah, we were going that way anyway ”
a guide stopped us and asked where Luis was… and the others of our group
i explained
and he warned us about the bridge trail
..we set off..
J&P asked me where we were going..
they thought we were going to the sun gate
but i figured it would be too cloudy to enjoy it
so.. let´s have an adventure
— they came along.
a long a long a long
winding up the terraces
then back into the jungle
under trees and vines
the rain started subsiding
but there was a cloud tucked in the valley
grey wall over the cliff edge
i had been told it was a treaterous trail
narrow and sheer
but it wasn’t, really
not at all
it was a nice trail
fun to walk
higher and higher
but gentler than the one i’d just been on
when we got to the end of the trail
there was a gate over the trail
with a sign with skull and cross bones on it
— i took a picture
and tried to capture the bit of the trail i could see through the fog
kept moving into different positions
trying not to let the camera get wet…
— i could see where the trail had fallen into the valley, far down
large pieces of rebar sticking out of the rock face..
guess that technique didn’t work
i turned around to look at something else
and Judy suddenly exclaimed ” OH LOOK! ”
back around
i saw the bridge clearly: the fog had mysteriously lifted.
we could se everything
the trail along the mountain,
the bridge foundations
the long drop down
the river
the rock wall above
we took lots of pictures
and i climbed around the fence to get a better shot…
all this took a few minutes
then the clouds rolled back in and covered everything up
so we hiked back along the trail
telling that story
to give the other hikers faith:
maybe it will clear for you too.
back at the terraces
i left them
and went wandering around..
just checking out the rest of the city..
trying to walk in stride
feel the past catch up with me
fill it with presence
but it wasn’t there
i wasn’t there
i just walked around the buildings in a wet awe
crawling in houses
and caves
pulling out trash other tourists had left there
and asking tourits for trash bags
which they gave me..
i was tired
and wet
and getting cold
and didn’t want to get a cold
so i headed back..
and it was nearly time to go anyway..
i only waited about 5 minutes
and caught the bus down with Walter and the rest of the group that had come up..
american girls on the bus
talking in that “you know” kinda way
made me wish i didn’t understand english
so
back down in the town
i bought a few more things
clean pants: all i have is dirty
two more stone balls…
some hats and scarves..
then to lunch
ate a bit, mediocre
then set to writing..
but we had to leave before i was finished
so i left this note in my journal:
”
…
— gotta go
catch the train back to the sacred valley to meet up with Guillermo
to catch the bus back to Cusco..
i should be able to finish this tonight
”
everything seemed rushed
but it really wasn’t.
the train ride was nice
most everyone else was sleeping
i was staring at the mountains going by..
really hard to imagine that we just came this way yesterday..
all this stimulation makes the time so THICK
we switched from the train to the bus
ahhhh, Guillermo again.
winding up and up and up
and going from sleeping at 6,500ft up to 12,500 in just a few hours
really fucking spun my head
we went to a place that is sponsored by the tourist organization we are here with: Grand Circle / Over Sea Adventure Travel
a place that teaches the local indians the old ways of weaving..
drop spindaling their yarn
back-pack looms
astounding work
and though i had already bought my ponchos
i bought a vest from them
and am so proud to own it..
and a hat for my mom..
then
more bus
and into cusco.
Jim was really sick/tired
and went directly to bed
i came out to the city
looked for an internet cafe
and managed to upload almost 100 pics from today in the /peru folder
looks like the shut the computers down at 9pm, coz that’s when the last one got in.
then dinner
conversation
oh
i’m a bit tired
so am calling today’s entry quits
coz even this cafe is closing in about ten minutes
and i need to get some sleep.
three nights here in cusco
then a bus down to lake titicaca
hmmmmmm
ahhh
at least i slept well last night.
when i left the internet box up the street
the hotel’s gates were locked..
i walked up and down the block… wondering..
it was about 10:30
and the streets were mostly empty..
what do you do
late night
friday? what the hell day is it?
was it..
after realizing i misunderstood the orientation of the hotel
i turned around and went to check out the other direction…
knocking on the main gate again
a man appeared half way down the block
“Aqui!”
ah… si..
up stairs
and to bed
slept like a log
on my pillow body bolster
rooster still waking me in the middle of the night
but went right back into sleep
woke just before 6
some yoga
body not as sore
but just filling it with life
then brushing the hair
shower
oiling
jim was off at breakfast
i packed his chachka bag
then my own
then i headed down for breakfast
bannanas and papaya
and coco tea
and conversation with Christine about how some people just can not take care of themselves at all
as if paying attention to their lives would be way too much for them
they ask everyone else around them the questions
they are unwilling to look inside or anywhere for the answer for themselves
yeah..
well
then a bowl of kiwichi (amaranth… quinoa)
with yogurt
more tea
more papaya juice
more water
fine
out on the bus
to ride little motor cars around Urumbama
to see the old cemetary
where you have to pay rent every year
or they excavate the bones and burn them…
or you can buy a plot.. but that’s usually too expensive to do in one go for most…
people prefer to be buried above ground..
in stacks sometimes..
the lower classes: underneath
we jumped in the car and headed over to a church
suggested to buy candles and make prayers with them
i know how that works
so bought 8
and made my prayers for my friends and family and planet and self.
then back to the main square
to catch the bus
to the train..
the RailPeru!
owned by the Orient Express..
see
all this Inca Ruin stuff is generating a lot of income
i just fear that most of it isn’t staying in the country..
going to china or USA or germany or great britian..
i just don’t trust it
but the train was designed well
narrow gague track
with windows at the bend in the ceiling
… felt like a fancy subway car..
beautiful beautiful mountains, of course
decending from 9,500 ft to about 6,500 ft to the town of Aguas Calientes…
run through a large track of vendors..
beautiful town
huge cliffs surrounding them
hell bent on tourism
Hell Bent.
we checked into our hotel and Jim and i just lay on our backs and talked..
he told me about his dad building the garage on the wrong side of the house
coz he wanted to!
covering up two windows
and never cementing the floor
coz you don’t have to pay taxes on a room if it’s not finished..
he told me how much he is like his dad..
i explained that i was too..
my dad got me this watch/compass/thermometer/light/file/carabiner thing
it is SO him
and so me as well..
certain things fit
gotta love them
but jim is so fucking angry
i said
“Jim, you cuss a lot”
— i really love talking with him
he said
“yeah, my dad did too”
we were late for the group
less than ten minutes
but they all left
our new secondary/training guide was waiting for us
“Luis”
nice fella
not such good english
not as charasmatic as Walter..
but we got to our restaurant
and Jim was fucking tired of walking up steps and walking around everywhere
so complained the whole time
the food was pretty good
fresh fried potato chips, like you’d get in a bag,
much better
with garlic and … parsely?
walter and jim and i sat at the table together
walter and i had a good conversation
after Jim broke it to him much more directly…
our sexual status
so walter was interested
i told him how i lived
what my life was like from now til then..
he was very interested..
oddly
the Cusco district flag is a rainbow flag, slightly different than ours..
but he found the relation quite funny..
after lunch
i ran into that guy Jim, from MN
snapped a picture of him
and told him that we’ve ran into eachother twice
out of all the people in the world
so i´m bound to see him again
he seemed shy
.. i wanted to hug him
but what can we do?
we, the group, jumped on a bus
and headed up the hill
13 switchbacks
up and up and up
fantastic mountains and waves..
throngs of people
everywhere
and all so excited
walter gave us some info
then walked us along a small path
around a bend
down some steps..
i asked him if i could go down to the bottom (though we were cutting across the middle as a group, and he was waiting for the rest)
he smiled
and said yes
the llamas let me through
and i looked over the steep cliff edge to take pictures of the road we drove up
then turned around…
Machu Pichu
wow.
i can’t really spend time telling you what it was like
anyone who is interested has seen pictures and read bits about it
so you know..
and i have been seeing ruins here
and many other places
but something about it just..
struck me
.took my breath away.
whatever
i just stood and stared
mouth a gape
one of the women from above called down to me
telling me to catch up
so i walked up the steps
and began the tour
what was going on?
were they trying to hitch their culture to the sun?
trying to stop time?
trying to fly?
Here To GO?
so much knowledge and experience
wiped out in less than a year by 165 Spainards they mistook for the children of god…
the spainards hunted down the last incan and killed him in the central square of Cusco
and melted down all of their gold
obliterating the culture..
undoing the ties…
or?
did they escape to the last hidden city?
Vilcabamba?
dissapearing into the earth
or the sky?
like the mayans?
like any of our dreams..
it was the will of god
any god
their god
ours…
the will for the native cultures to be wiped out
the aboriginals
the mayans, the incas, the Native Americans all
as our culture is steadily destroying china and japan
who will, in turn, devour us
this place (earth) is so strange.
anyway
Machu Pichu
yeah
amazing views
amazing feeling
the workmanship fantastic
up and down stone steps
using up the battery on the camera
he showed us the temples
we all sang into the niches
which reverberated around us..
we’re here again tomorrow
(though Jim says he’s not comming: he’s taking a day of rest)
early in the morning
then leaving around 1:30 for Cusco
two days there
then down to Lake Titticaca
or
whatever
future
i just wanted to jabber a bit
i guess i’m pretty tired
but mostly feel displaced
and
as ever
existentially confounded.
now time for dinner
and then some sleep
———- after dinner ——-
jim slept through dinner,yeah
D and E were drinking wine by candle light
down by the river
roaring behind the glass
dinner started
and i got seated be Judy (CO) and regina,
no one else within ear shot because three peruvians arrived in full costume and loud amplification
playing crowd pleasers like Guantanamera
which made D&E dance
which made me happy that they were dancing
— she has flow
… he’s a bit self conscious
and i feel like i should like them..
i should like everyone, right
but..
the group kinda bugged me
i guess i was feeling grouchy
they tried to sell me their CD, of course
and i just took a look at all the hack on there and said NO
gave them one Sol
and walked out
to walk…
the hot springs close at 8:30.. and it was quarter past when i got there
so i just wandered down through the streets..
this town has been called “Aguas Calientes” for YEARS
probably over a hundred
and
that name
most likely
to attract some sort of tourism..
well
they have just changed their name to “Machu Pichu”
which just seems silly
and sad
there are 8 million restaurantes here
gift shops everywhere
most of everything empty
feels like they are all selling out as much as they can
but can you blame them?
not a fault, just the flow…
i refuse to buy things in Dollars
it really pisses me off and scares me that a country would convert all its currencey to another countries currencey..
but Ary told us that the most used currencey in Columbia was also the American Dollar..
sick
so i do my best to set my example of what i think is right
but it just is what it is
where do we go to find something More Wild?
i never would have come here if not for this tour, i´m sure
— it occurred to me today
i never do “tourist things” because they bug me so much
so
though its been fascinating seeing all this stuff
it’s turning my stomach..
yet
inspiring me to go further to wild interesting places
… maybe this place in Cambodia?
(21:48)
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