pause, for a second.
Breathe.
Yeah.
On… Tuesday?
i went out to Kingston again
met up with a nice Nurse, J
he drove me out into the hills
those thick green rolling hills
we walked through the granite, the wild blueberries, the tall pines
(loving, supporting, shading; not redwoods)
down to the stream
as it snaked its way through
pooled
we ate our food
we took off our clothes
we jumped in the water
and everything washed away
yeah, thanks
thanks for the barefoot in the forest
thanks for the wind in the trees
thanks for the sun!
and hiking and playing and cuddling with someone fun
yeah.
just a little flush on my face…
then drove back into Rhinecliff
waited at the train station
listening to “Apostles of Hustle: Folkloric Feel”
by the time N arrived
it had ended and i changed to “Broken Social Scene: beehives”
we had to do some shopping
i bought Adell’s turkey/portabello sausage
and cooked for us
then we talked
and i was getting really sharp
teeth, nails…
even some tools, i’m sure
prying..
giving advice
asking questions
looking closely
he said
“for this to work you need to not treat me like a project”
i said
‘ that’s why i don’t live with you ‘
yeah
that’s what i do
strange
i give him space
i give him space and space and space
it’s about giving him space
to me
it feels like ignoring him
yet he still thanks me
looks at me and thanks me…
we watched Space Ghost Coast to Coast
as he fell asleep
head on my knee
i made a necklace and two bracelet out of gem stones
… it’d been Years since i’d done so…
went to sleep after one
yet still woke just after seven
so scuttled around the house
sat at the computer
stretched a bit
then went out into the back yard and lay naked in the sun
cobra
autobiography of a yogi
went back in
made plane reservations:
flying into SF august 1st (happy birthday trevis)
returning to NYC on the 11th.
mercury fucking retrograde in Leo
which basically means i will fight with not only Leo but also N
we will not understand eachother
more subtle art of Giving Space
biting tongue..
but, good?
well, going back to the hermitage and the west coast in retrograde
fitting
a good time to pick up stuff left behind
re-visit
move on
yeah.
then changed my flight to florida
so i’m leaving on monday now
to orlando
to meet this Sam guy who’s talked with me on line for three years or so
i don’t even remember when we met
everything: wyrd.
then a week in lauderdale.
in the sun and the sea
and a million silver daddies.
hmmmm
but that took a while to fenagle
still, got it done
and then N and i went out to kingston again
shopping
Michaels and Lowes and Good Will
ugh…
and then Del’s Dairy Cream
juicey 1/2 pound burgers
yeah.
bad icecream
good good good softserve…
then back
finish a few things on the computer
say good-bye to N
and headed south
left at 7:30
a bit of rain
beautiful countryside
as the night came on
so did the city
so the light stayed about the same
i wore my broken glasses to see the street signs…
got back to 79 at 9:45
S, who had my key, didn’t get my call
so i waited for him for 10 minutes or so
then he helped me take stuff upstairs
all the flies were gone!
while i was away
he watched the house
watered the plants…
put up more fly paper
and sprayed them with “meat water”
to attract the flies..
i’ve been thinking of that
Meat Water…
how did he prepare that?
it worked:
no more flies.
still
strong smell of cat piss
OK
ok..
we talked
strange…
he just turned 20
we had sex last week
he was 19
i had sex with a 19 year old!
and it was a lot of fun
gemini
he’s so funny
my Ganapati
so in his head
asking me questions
saying
“you have the most amazing ass… you know that?”
“you really give great head, the best i’ve ever had”
i told him he better be careful
having sex with me at such a young age could ruin him for life.
i showered while we talked
then i had to rush out the door to return the car to A in Williasmburg
her friend gave us both stickers in response to the “If you see something, Say something” campaign here in NYC…
i’ll post about it with pictures later
i took a cab from there back across the bridge to the west side to see my russian friend
who looks like such a big hot top
but he is SO bottom
and huffing on poppers the whole time
it was sad
and dissapointing
we slept, neither came
had to be up at 6am coz he runs a cleaning company
out on the street
early morning
grey sky
grey water
down by the river
look at that water
i stared
transfixed:
back in NYC.
i walked…
last night
in the cab over
i saw my favourite thing from Los Angeles: Robek’s Juice
where was it?
Worth street…
when did it come to NYC?
i couldn’t find it..
i jumped in the train
tired
A to W4 to F to Delancey
to Rivington
to Clinton
79
up 5 flights
tired
sit
what a grey shitty day yesterday was…
on the computer
planning
looking for orlando
looking
trying to respond
i should write…
should write about the Meat Water
that boy…
there’s so much i have to do..
and it was a while
but
whilst on line
a guy called me i hadn’t seen in a year and a half
and then
only in the back of my van [vic]
he came over
we talked, played
he drove me to union square
i got a halal gyro
carrying a tray of tomato plants given to me by the Nurse, J, in Kingston
everyone thought it was pot
i sat in Union Square
and ate
then the phone call
one of my italians
the lawyer
his office
is just down the street
so i went
love the sound he makes when he shoots
his whole body
the city is filled with sex
hot and muggy
i took the train
A to D to 4 to 176
walked to the school
everything was filled with weeds!
i watered and weeded for hours!
then started making a new bed
it started raining
got one wall done
then took the 4 to the D to the A to 42nd street
over to 9th ave
to work on one of my first clients here in the city
a guy i like a lot
great massage
but made me miss yoga
he told me my friend Marcel was in town from Amsterdam!
i left
and ate at Better Burger before my next client
then i realized
i had No idea where this guy was
so i called his number:
it was a hotel in DC!
oh well, sorry.
i went home
wanted to sleep
but there were so many emails
and so many phone calls!
ganapati calls and tells me he’d dreampt about me in a way he’s never drempt before
so many firsts with me, he says
“we had sex… then we were flying.. naked… i never fly in dreams”
‘ i fly all the time ‘
i did sleep
then at 9
i got out of bed
this morning
Gregary called
so i took a cab up to see him
now i’m at union square
posting, finally
a bit about what i do
now i gotta go
back to the square
north west corner
to meet Marcel
blessings
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