Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 21:26:10 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Dear Saint Nicholas
To: “Leo Joseph”
oh, it feels like it’s been so long since i talked with you last
so many things have happened to us since then!
i left London and went to wales with an angel named Chad
jumped in a cold spring
then stared up into the starry night
then sweated for an hour in a hand built sauna
with an old wood burning stove
in a house owned by two kids named
“labrynth of love”
and
“lucifer”
who only eat raw food.
hm.
plans changed instantly
and i ended up in glastonbury the next day
so crazy
that night was a party in Bath
much like the gay men i enjoy spending time with
but they were all straight women!
i was, slightly, terrified
but never let it show
apart from being hit one right and left and centre
Ugh
some woman feeding me wild mushrooms
and another relentlessly harping in me about shaving my beard!
i left
and went for a nice long walk
the top of the hill
looked out over the city
my oh my
so gorgeous
i will have to say gorgeous a thousand times.
one man in there
clean shaven
but looked upon me with a longing i’ve only ever associated with love
his wife was nice
but he said
“no. no. don’t cut your hair or your beard. no. don’t listen to them. .
.. ”
that was nice.
and i slept the next few days
she was a pot head, the woman i stayed with
and a friend of hers had just jumped off a bridge into traffice in
yorkshire…
and and old childhood friend blew his brains out in indiana
and eli’s dad’s brain is dissolving
what?
getting closer and closer.
i won’t go into my fears.
but when i finally did wake up to some sort of clarity in glastonbury
i went out for a long walk along the hills
lost and in love with the sky
the trees
the green green
the brambles!
i tore my pants up!
and the skin underneath
but with joy!
with joy!
then to the glastonbury Tor
apparently this was all a group of islands
and the winds up there are 2000 miles per hour
if they feel like it
a strange town
left the next day for here
Wales.
nice guy i am staying with
but
just
no
connexion.
he’d never been fucked, though
poor lad.
so i did some teaching
and learned so much about this sort of thing
that i might be able to fuck you some day without causing any pain
but, oh, not fuck
make love
just thinking about it reminds me about how i want you inside me
am i being crass of vulgar?
let me get to the important part:
i forget all my dreams so quickly
but they have been very powerful this week:
i went for a walk along the coastal cliff walks
all the way from Solva to St. Non’s
barefoot
grass and dirt
amazing
oh
my oh my
three hours
five miles or six or some such number
blessed
i can’t leave that out
because it was precious
but then we went to a party
all welse people this time
and then some indians
and i loved them
straight people!
i forgot about all these straight people!
what do you do with them all the time?
i keep feel like i’m forgetting the most important part…
i ate too much
too much meat
YUM
it was made so well
tasted so good
i ate too much pudding
three different pies
YUM
and then
in the middle and either ends of all that
i drank too much wine
but it was the glass of water that threw me over the edge
i went to lay down on the floor
and was woken by bobbie
telling me to get in bed.
so i went to…
Sleep?
no,
i was with you
and we were like inseperable babies in a play pin
we were naked
and in and out of eachother in all sorts of ways
laughing and playing
all of these crazy shapes!
it felt such home!
i don’t remember now
it felt such home!
my heart’s burst!
i woke up with a horrible pain in my chest
horrible
hard to breathe
had to cough and cough
but mostly was aware of how i didn’t want to be awake
didn’t want to have anything to do with
west wales
or the UK
or ANYWHERE
i only wanted to fall back into my dream so i could be with you again
in that strange forever inseperable conjugal bliss
i was overwhelmed
but don’t feel it now.
still, i can look back on it
and imagine it as hangover
but remember it as a form of worship
i’ve been talking with god a lot lately
the day before …
two days before?
time drips by…
walking up the cliff side at solva.
a different one
i come over the crest and fell in love
with everything
and other lovers were there with me
others
coz all beauty and love must be shared
so it was god
and god was the sun and came out through the clouds
and hugged me
and it was all my lovers
and we laughed!
it was beautiful
and that dream with you was like that
like something i don’t feel much anymore
but something i felt with Robert in arkansas:
sex:
love:
a form of worship
being with god
being god
loving the whole world
healing the whole world
through getting lost in beautiful maniacle fucking.
(laughs)
such a strange dream
that i didn’t remember it at all
but i knew i needed to write to you
and then that came back
i have been writing for hours now!
not just to you
but eli
and other people
randomn people i don’t know
and then
people like you
like you?
my friend Leo.
diving in and out
so strange to feel you
different faces and different hearts
Leo: an archetype of love for this boy dominic
and you pass on to me your gifts of loving
i will gladdly carry them on
but right now i am tired
it’s five in the morning
and you are santa clause somewhere
or having tea with eli
the elfin grin i see on your face
the glint in your eyes
nearly brings tears to mine
i love being this raw and crazy in love
but why now?
the world needs it
thanks for doing your part
well, the part we do together
Ha!
love and blessings, m’boy
i’ll see you soon.
…domenicus
— Leo Joseph wrote:
> dear one,
>
> it was such a wonderful gift to talk with you last
> week!
>
> it is the closest we have had to a real visit since i
> left amsterdam.
>
> eli did call me last week and we talked for a while-
> doen’t look good for his father.
>
> he asked if we could meet up when i get over to s.r.
> which i will do today as i have an appointment for an
> eye exam there this afternoon.
>
> then to s.f. for a few days and back here, then to
> ukiah for the weekend. i become st. nicholas there on
> sat. for the holiday fair at the church. mass the next
> morning then home again.
>
> thanksgiving was very pleasant…
> michael and rose were up here and we all went to fred
> and sally’s for dinner… just like last year except
> you were here and i was not.
>
> how are you doin’?
>
> would love to hear from you.
>
> i will be home fri. night and sun. night.
>
> am thinking of my travels and seeing you again.
>
> by late january it will be time for our planets to
> cross paths again…
>
>
> love you and wish you were here… or i was there!
>
> leo
>
> ___________________________________
Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 20:49:47 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: Re: you
To: “my name is Eli”
You?
what is this talk about you?
i am sorry
i didn’t mean to leave you alone.
have you met leo yet?
i love him and miss him.
i am concerned about you.
yes i am afraid.
but
hey
that’s nothing new
i listened to “scatterheart” today
and realize how much i wish that for you
“there’s nothing i’d love to do more
than spare you from that burden
offer comfort and protection
if i only could
shelter you
from that pain
(just to make things easier on you)
— you’re going to have to find out for yourself.”
perhaps i worry about you in leiu of worrying about myself
i am also in a lot of pain
and so on and so forth
but you are you
and you are not me
(the lengths that i will go to
the distance in your eyes)
since your friend sent me the email about your dad’s Prions
i have eaten a lot of british beef.
hmmm, yum.
i like how she presented it
not in these words
but like
“well, damon was just one of the lucky 300 or so in america that have
just magically go this”
there is no such thing as safe.
everything is poison.
have i told you about the peacock?
it is one of my good memories of Mongolia
(no, actually, i never wore my red suede vest in mongolia)
i was told why pecocks are so reviered in buddhist teaching:
there are these
berried
that if anyone eats them
humans
animals
birds
babies…
They Die.
very strong poison.
but the pecocks, of course
they go around eating these berries all the time
the poison just makes them more beautiful.
(you’re gonna have to find out for yourself)
(63 65 69… 72)
so some of us are babies and people and animals and deamons and
some of us are peacocks
shake that hips
shake that die
ce
and roll is out
trip over your tail feathers
and fly around
there’s some pain in the air
but no
that’s not why i haven’t emailed you:
it’s been very hard for me to spend ANY time on my self the last three
or four or five weeks.
fucking xavier
and jacov
and bob
whatever
manifesting these attention suckers
these people around me that constantly demand all of my energy
i want a holiday!
nope!
but i am in wales now
west wales
where we’d take the ferry over to ireland, actually
but we’re not going to do that right now.
we’re going back to london tomorrow
and going to cologne on thursday
but we’ll not get into that with eli, no we won’t.
(just to make things easier on you)
we will, however, tell him a little about Solva
the small town were David Grey comes from
and how dominic
(our hero)
took off his boots and slung them over his shoulder
and walked many miles
for about three hours
along the cliff edges
YES
singing hyperballad and anchor song
and sail away and stony end
and… of course, a few others.
classics
our favourites
eli, i am very tired now
i walked bare foot!
the grass was so soft!
it was so pretty!
god and i are friends again
we love eachother
he came out from behind the clouds and hugged me
it was nice too.
i liked it.
and lost my little stone
oh.
(underworld song)
gee, i don’t know, elii
why haven’t you written me and told me something about your life
you gotta be a better translator
i mean
transmitter
you
mister reciever
(how does that go?
connector in
reciever out
you let me in through the back door)
i love you and stuff
and you have featured prominaentely in my Treams over the last few
hallucinagenic nights
( a girl at a party gave me some welsh mussshies)
( i walked through glastonbury, up the tor… ran through the hills…
ripped my pants up right through the skin of my legs )
we were performers
in a city devided between audiance and actors
this isn’t very different than reality?
we were very tired and had a lot of work to do
and it was hard to get everything to cooperate.
there were a few other dreams
other nights
but they were mostly like this.
and there are saints
and loved ones.
dreams.
and loved ones.
far away
hey hey
honey
give your daddy a kiss on the fore head
and take back the evil spell famous joe cast on him
and close your eyes
and put your hands on him
and go inside
and find him
and give him a hug
and open your belly
so that nasty black and blue empty space between you and your dad can
disappear
so you two can feel eachother before he disolves
you know that’s what pisces are all about: dissolving back into god
personality and soul falls apart
returns to the void
so catch the threads before they are just part of the ocean again
coz you’re a virgin
and can’t breathe underwater yet
ugh
i love you
goognight
i am very tired.
and, yeah
scared i will hurt you more than help you
… i am doing the best i can
( i am not trying to break your heart )
— my name is Eli wrote:
> why have you stopped writing?
>
> i miss you. are you afraid?
>
>
>
>
Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 20:32:58 -0800 (PST)
From: “dominick vyne” View Contact Details
Subject: ways to make simple math equations work with out the expected results
To: “Vince o”
hey, don’t you worry, mister
i’ll put you on my MSN messanger list when next i encounter it on a
computer
but here’s the thing i wanted to give you:
when i was 13 i discovered this in a book on sexual secrets
then, when i was 18
i studied yoga for two weeks with a husband and wife couple in Michigan
city, north west indiana
the man taught me this, a continuation of the thing i had been doing
since i was 13:
the muscle that is used to control pissing
called the “perineum” in western medicine
the “mulabanda” in indian yoga practice
… the “sandbar” as my childhood friends refered to it..
— right now you can feel it
squeeze it
know what i mean?
it’s a very powerful muscle
and it’s a very powerful energy spot
root chakra and all that, really
(laughs)
but here’s the thing:
it’s really powerful to use in sex.
it’s the muscle that controls how hard your dick is
and how much you can hold back from cumming
but also how well you can generate energy down there
so you want to know how to make 55 go into 24 more times than you might
think it should?
feel this muscle
(not with your hands, with your whole body)
and tighten it
feel that
let it go.
do this…
all day.
do it a lot
any time you think of it
do it quick
or do it slow
hold it three seconds
then let it go
or do it with the breath
one way
(hold; breathe in, relax; breathe out)
and/or the other.
eventually
the muscle will get much stronger
then you can do fancy energy stuff with it
but i’ll leave that for you and your imagination to explore
(remember, anything you dream of is possible…
like seeing me in london)
but i will give you a suggestion:
there is energy comming from everywhere
the centre of the earth
the farthest point in the heavens…
the computer at your feet
the sun
the moon
the telephone…
sample these energies
once you learn to use your mulabanda to hold your own energy
you can pull in others
(the centre of the earth and the centre of the heavens i have always
enjoyed and found most friendly)
and cultivate them in you
i only mention this
because if both of us do this
we can roll around in sexual bliss much longer
however
from the light in your eyes and the beauty of your smile
i am sure you have your own ways of cultivating your life energy
which i will be happy to feel
when you tell me you are comming to london
it’s great meeting you Vince
til then
see you in the dreaming:
…dominic
…vine
http://photos.yahoo.com/vyne23
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